# What musical instrument is the butt of the most jokes? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 1, 2014, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-musical-instrument-is-the-butt-of-the-most-jokes/706056 "2014-12-01T19:31:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-musical-instrument-is-the-butt-of-the-most-jokes/706056/1 "2014-12-01T19:31:01Z")
I probably could do a poll for this, but it seems a bit beneath a poll somehow. But really, what musical instrument has the most jokes made about it and in the words of Rodney Dangerfield “can’t get no respect around here!?” I did an informal poll on Facebook and predictably everyone chose the instrument they played. Apparent front runners, however, did seem to be the accordion and banjo with orchestra types choosing cello (sex related, apparently) and marching band people leaning towards the tuba (obviously size related). What hits the wrong note for you? ---
**Author:** ![Anita\_Dayoff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Anita\_Dayoff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anita_Dayoff)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-musical-instrument-is-the-butt-of-the-most-jokes/706056/2 "2014-12-01T19:36:28Z")
Skin flute? ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-musical-instrument-is-the-butt-of-the-most-jokes/706056/3 "2014-12-01T19:40:10Z")
Bagpipes. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-musical-instrument-is-the-butt-of-the-most-jokes/706056/4 "2014-12-01T19:42:41Z")
Accordion, bagpipes and for some reason, the oboe. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-musical-instrument-is-the-butt-of-the-most-jokes/706056/5 "2014-12-01T19:43:48Z")
Kazoo Pan flute (see Zamfir) Cowbell ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-musical-instrument-is-the-butt-of-the-most-jokes/706056/6 "2014-12-01T19:52:23Z")
The viola has been the butt of jokes for centuries. What do you call two violists playing in unison? A minor second. What’s the range of a viola? As far as you can kick it. Why do violists stand around outside people’s houses? They can’t find the key, and they never know when to come in. ---
**Author:** ![dolphinboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dolphinboy/32/330_2.png) [@dolphinboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dolphinboy)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-musical-instrument-is-the-butt-of-the-most-jokes/706056/7 "2014-12-01T19:52:31Z")
The oboe has almost a screeching sound sometimes… ugh ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-musical-instrument-is-the-butt-of-the-most-jokes/706056/8 "2014-12-01T19:58:12Z")
I’ve heard far more jokes about bagpipes than any other musical instrument. Accordions also seem to be a go to sight or situational gag meaning “instrument played by dweeb.” ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-musical-instrument-is-the-butt-of-the-most-jokes/706056/9 "2014-12-01T20:07:48Z")
Know what perfect pitch is? It’s when you pitch an accordion in the dumpster and it lands on a banjo. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-musical-instrument-is-the-butt-of-the-most-jokes/706056/10 "2014-12-01T20:12:27Z")
All specialists believe their specialty has more and funnier jokes than anyone else’s. My Wife has a number of guitar jokes which are (presumably) hilarious to other guitar players but which mean nothing to me. As a non-musical person I find that bagpipes (as I said upthread) are the subject of more humor than any other instrument, with banjos and accordians close behind. I don’t think the average person would recognize an oboe if they tripped over one. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-musical-instrument-is-the-butt-of-the-most-jokes/706056/11 "2014-12-01T20:17:36Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > My Wife has a number of guitar jokes which are (presumably) hilarious to other guitar players but which mean nothing to me. I play the guitar some, but I only know one guitar joke: How do you make a guitar player stop playing? Put some sheet music in front of him. It’s funny because it’s true. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-musical-instrument-is-the-butt-of-the-most-jokes/706056/12 "2014-12-01T20:28:41Z")
> [@River\_Hippie](#): > > Know what perfect pitch is? > It’s when you pitch an accordion in the dumpster and it lands on a banjo. My musically inclined friends tend to crap on banjo players more than anyone else. I think bagpipes and accordions are simply beneath their notice. Also, what sort of musical combos involve bagpipes? Musically, they’re more or less in a world of their own. Accordions are close to it, AFAICT - outside of polka bands and Weird Al Yankovic, who plays accordions? ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-musical-instrument-is-the-butt-of-the-most-jokes/706056/13 "2014-12-01T20:36:16Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > The viola has been the butt of jokes for centuries. > > What do you call two violists playing in unison? > A minor second. > > What’s the range of a viola? > As far as you can kick it. > > Why do violists stand around outside people’s houses? > They can’t find the key, and they never know when to come in. What’s the difference between the first desk of violas and the second desk of violas? About a bar and a half. > [@RTFirefly](#): > > Also, what sort of musical combos involve bagpipes? Musically, they’re more or less in a world of their own. Pipe bands generally include drums. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-musical-instrument-is-the-butt-of-the-most-jokes/706056/14 "2014-12-01T20:38:37Z")
What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians? A drummer. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-musical-instrument-is-the-butt-of-the-most-jokes/706056/15 "2014-12-01T20:45:05Z")
Tie between the accordion and the banjo. But the jokes are very different. The banjo is equated with toothless, backwoods hillbillies (thanbks to _ **Deliverance** _), so anyone who plays a banjo will be greeted with a lot of “squeal like a pig” jokes and “you might be a redneck” lines. The accordion is a joke because it’s seen as antiquated, the kind of instrument played by Lawrence Welk, or by old men in knickers at dances our grandparents might have attended. ---
**Author:** ![Lemmytheseal2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/82dd89/32.png) [@Lemmytheseal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemmytheseal2)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-musical-instrument-is-the-butt-of-the-most-jokes/706056/16 "2014-12-01T20:55:59Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > My musically inclined friends tend to crap on banjo players more than anyone else. I think bagpipes and accordions are simply beneath their notice. > > Also, what sort of musical combos involve bagpipes? Musically, they’re more or less in a world of their own. Accordions are close to it, AFAICT - outside of polka bands and Weird Al Yankovic, who plays accordions? Indie rockers play accordions. ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-musical-instrument-is-the-butt-of-the-most-jokes/706056/17 "2014-12-01T20:57:58Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > Tie between the accordion and the banjo. > > But the jokes are very different. The banjo is equated with toothless, backwoods hillbillies (thanbks to _ **Deliverance** _), so anyone who plays a banjo will be greeted with a lot of “squeal like a pig” jokes and “you might be a redneck” lines. > > The accordion is a joke because it’s seen as antiquated, the kind of instrument played by Lawrence Welk, or by old men in knickers at dances our grandparents might have attended. Let me add, as a banjo player, that anytime anyone finds out you play, all they want to hear is Dueling Banjos. Except they’ll call it “that Deliverance music”. ---
**Author:** ![TheSeaOtter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ed655f/32.png) [@TheSeaOtter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheSeaOtter)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-musical-instrument-is-the-butt-of-the-most-jokes/706056/18 "2014-12-01T21:10:15Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians? > > A drummer. I don’t know if there’s a specific instrument that gets the most jokes made about it, but it does feel as though there are stereotypes of people who play particular instruments, and that’s where a bunch of the jokes come from. For instance: What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? [SPOILER]Homeless. (Stereotype: Drummers are too poor to have their own place.)[/SPOILER] How many flute players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? [SPOILER]None, they get their boyfriends to do it for them. (Stereotype: Flute players are divas who expect other people do stuff for them. And are mostly women.) [/SPOILER] How many trumpet players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? [SPOILER]One. He holds the bulb in place and allows the world to revolve around him. (Stereotype: Trumpet players are self-important egomaniacs.)[/SPOILER] ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-musical-instrument-is-the-butt-of-the-most-jokes/706056/19 "2014-12-01T21:16:55Z")
I’m going to slide this over to Cafe Society. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-musical-instrument-is-the-butt-of-the-most-jokes/706056/20 "2014-12-01T21:19:16Z")
Are we distinguishing between jokes about the instrument itself vs. jokes about the people who play that instrument? Before reading any replies, my first thought was that the accordion is the instrument that is the butt of the most jokes, but that drummers are the musicians who are the butt of the most jokes. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-musical-instrument-is-the-butt-of-the-most-jokes/706056.md?page=2)