# What new features do you want on your cell phone?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-features-do-you-want-on-your-cell-phone/389485
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [January 25, 2007, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-features-do-you-want-on-your-cell-phone/389485 "2007-01-25T23:58:55Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@According\_to\_Pliny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/According_to_Pliny)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2007, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-features-do-you-want-on-your-cell-phone/389485/1 "2007-01-25T23:58:55Z")
[ ](https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v509/pliny/dp070124.gif)
[ ](https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v509/pliny/heathcliff20071832660125.gif)
I could use one with a dog whistle
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### Author:  [@According\_to\_Pliny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/According_to_Pliny)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2007, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-features-do-you-want-on-your-cell-phone/389485/2 "2007-01-26T01:30:28Z")
I count 5+ features in this one: [Conan O’Brien fake iPhone ad (includes 10 second real sponsor’s ad)](http://video.nbc.com/player.html?dlid=55682)
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### Author:  [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2007, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-features-do-you-want-on-your-cell-phone/389485/3 "2007-01-26T02:02:05Z")
[QUOTE=According to Pliny]
I count 5+ features in this one: [Conan O’Brien fake iPhone ad (includes 10 second real sponsor’s ad)](http://video.nbc.com/player.html?dlid=55682)
[/QUOTE]
I wish I had seen the \*Holiday Medicines \* piece before Christmas.
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### Author:  [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2007, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-features-do-you-want-on-your-cell-phone/389485/4 "2007-01-26T02:44:41Z")
Someone in a recent thread floated the idea of making one that looked exactly like a communicator from the original _Star Trek_ series. I’d be all over that.
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### Author:  [@Mrs\_Johnson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs_Johnson)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2007, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-features-do-you-want-on-your-cell-phone/389485/5 "2007-01-26T04:07:02Z")
All I want is a normal ring tone. I can’t stand all of the music!
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### Author:  [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2007, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-features-do-you-want-on-your-cell-phone/389485/6 "2007-01-26T04:20:31Z")
I want a phone. Not a camera, not an MP3 player, not a text messager, not a computer, not a photo album. Just a phone.
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### Author:  [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2007, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-features-do-you-want-on-your-cell-phone/389485/7 "2007-01-26T04:33:33Z")
It should be an MP3 player, contain both an FM and AM tuner, run Palm OS, bluetooth fast networking to my laptop, function as my car key, my house key and my secure e-wallet. I want one thing that does every damn thing and it’s all I have to carry out the door. I like my 700p but it is missing a few things still.
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### Author:  [@Captain\_C](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_C)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2007, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-features-do-you-want-on-your-cell-phone/389485/8 "2007-01-26T07:42:28Z")
Be able to call people. Be able to store approximately 10 different numbers. Be able to accept voicemail. Have caller ID. That is all.
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### Author:  [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2007, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-features-do-you-want-on-your-cell-phone/389485/9 "2007-01-26T09:30:56Z")
One like [this](http://thephatphree.com/features.asp?SectionID=15&StoryID=3459&LayoutType=1). It’s got an iron and salt & pepper shakers!
…
Actually, I just want one with a battery life longer than 12 minutes. If that means taking away “wallpaper” and cameras and icons, so be it. I just wanna make a call.
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### Author:  [@scareyfaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scareyfaerie)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2007, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-features-do-you-want-on-your-cell-phone/389485/10 "2007-01-26T09:38:14Z")
I want one that automatically sends a serious electric shock through anyone playing MP3s _without_ headphones. I know you think your taste in music is so amazing we all have to listen to it, but one day you’re going to find that phone rammed where the sun doesn’t shine…I need my 20mins of peace at the beginning of the long morning commute.
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### Author:  [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2007, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-features-do-you-want-on-your-cell-phone/389485/11 "2007-01-26T12:32:56Z")
I just want to be able to play nibbler/snakes for free ☹
(or something, I spend $200-$400 on a phone, gimme one game for free, just something to do when I have 5 minutes to kill)
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### Author:  [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2007, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-features-do-you-want-on-your-cell-phone/389485/12 "2007-01-26T12:34:05Z")
[QUOTE=ScareyFaerie]
I want one that automatically sends a serious electric shock through anyone playing MP3s _without_ headphones. I know you think your taste in music is so amazing we all have to listen to it, but one day you’re going to find that phone rammed where the sun doesn’t shine…I need my 20mins of peace at the beginning of the long morning commute.
[/QUOTE]
And for the love of Og, ringback tones should be illegal.
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### Author:  [@minor7flat5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minor7flat5)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2007, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-features-do-you-want-on-your-cell-phone/389485/13 "2007-01-26T12:49:59Z")
[QUOTE=Happy Wanderer]
It should be an MP3 player, contain both an FM and AM tuner, run Palm OS, bluetooth fast networking to my laptop, function as my car key, my house key and my secure e-wallet. I want one thing that does every damn thing and it’s all I have to carry out the door. I like my 700p but it is missing a few things still.
[/QUOTE]
Agreed.
Fix all of the little annoyances of my Treo 650 and that would be my perfect phone:
[ul][li]More memory (~28mb sux)[/li][li]Smaller, and with internal antenna (I’m wearing somewhat tight 501’s today, so the phone is hard to access).[/li][li]Robust standard size headphone jack instead of the teensy one that needs an adapter and gets flaky after a few months.[/li][li]Built-in wifi (Palm claims that it’s really hard to fix the network stack to work with both phone network and wifi. Right… Surely the phone companies selling expensive data plans had no influence on this limitation?)[/li][li]Unrestricted bluetooth. Currently the 650 only supports a couple of very limited profiles.[/li][li]The camera really needs work, if only to take nice pictures of the people in my contact list. It’s kind of cool when someone calls and their picture shows up, more so than you would imagine.[/li][\*]A reset button that is not hidden under the battery cover. Better yet, make it so holding down the power button for 10-20sec resets it, like modern PCs.[/ul]
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### Author:  [@Canadjun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadjun)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2007, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-features-do-you-want-on-your-cell-phone/389485/14 "2007-01-26T12:54:58Z")
[QUOTE=Captain\_C]
Be able to call people. Be able to store approximately 10 different numbers. Be able to accept voicemail. Have caller ID. That is all.
[/QUOTE]
Sounds about right for me too!
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### Author:  [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2007, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-features-do-you-want-on-your-cell-phone/389485/15 "2007-01-26T13:52:08Z")
[QUOTE=Shoshana]
I want a phone. Not a camera, not an MP3 player, not a text messager, not a computer, not a photo album. Just a phone.
[/QUOTE]
What’s wrong with you!!!111!!! [For the phone purist](http://www.rotarydialphones.com/)
I would like one that allows me to shoot killer bee’s at people who irritate me or just for fun.
And I would like hands free that doesn’t make me look like I am robo cop or something.
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### Author:  [@FRDE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FRDE)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2007, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-features-do-you-want-on-your-cell-phone/389485/16 "2007-01-26T14:33:09Z")
I would like to turn it **right off** without having to remove the battery.
Like a kill switch - preferably with a key
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### Author:  [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2007, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-features-do-you-want-on-your-cell-phone/389485/17 "2007-01-26T14:41:41Z")
More easily navigable menus, and more clearly marked buttons.
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### Author:  [@ethelbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ethelbert)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2007, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-features-do-you-want-on-your-cell-phone/389485/18 "2007-01-26T14:43:08Z")
I’d like to have one carved out of wood, so it wouldn’t work at all. It would just sit in your pocket, never ring and never have any messages to pick up.
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### Author:  [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2007, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-features-do-you-want-on-your-cell-phone/389485/19 "2007-01-26T15:13:43Z")
a) Connects wirelessly to my computer; and when so connected, associated software on my computer displays in a nice resizable window such things as the address book, call history, caller ID of incoming calls, and so forth
b) All calls are spooled to .mp3 and optionally saved permanently to disk at end of call. (Yes I know I’d have to let the other party know I record my calls. I would record my calls for the same reason that I save my emails.)
c) From the computer interface I can set up logic akin to email filtering rules: if caller ID is from List A, do not ring, play voicemail message #14, save voicemail, colorcode the call green and label it “Consultant Inquiries”, skip all remaining filter rules for this call.
d) Highlighting any phone number string in any application or document and hitting a specified keystroke should dial that number as an outgoing call; and the making of outgoing calls should also be AppleScriptable and therefore available for automated control by other apps or workflows.
e) Saved voicemails and recordings of conversations are processed after-the-fact with state of the art voice recognition and all words in the conversation indexed and filed in a searchable database along with call time and date, caller ID info, etc.
f) Yes, most of this describes the ideal behavior of phone when it’s cradled and next to computer on my desk. That’s where it would spend most of its time. But when I leave the office I snap it shut and it behaves like a cellphone, except that it still records conversations (to download & synch with computer next time it’s within range).
g) I want a 2" screen with 512 DPI and I want built-in Timbuktu so I can remotely control my computer from my cellphone, with voice-activated commands to substitute for mouse and keyboard.
h) Instead of holding cellphone up to ear and talking at room-conversation volume to be picked up by the one-foot-away condenser-microphone thingie, I want a tiny retractible flexible bar with the condenser-microphone thingie at the end of it, that you pull out with a thumbnail when you with to talk on the phone and thereby have a mike an inch away from your mouth and can speak very softly and not be heard by anyone but the person on the other end of the line.
I do not now nor have I ever had a cell phone. I’m still waiting for them to get it right.
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### Author:  [@Slypork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slypork)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2007, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-features-do-you-want-on-your-cell-phone/389485/20 "2007-01-26T16:42:58Z")
I just want some freaking coverage so I can actually use the damn phone. I want to the speaker to be slightly better than the one at the McDonald’s drive-through. I want a battery that that lasts longer than a couple hours yet isn’t the thickness of the Manhattan phone book. I want the person I am calling to be able to understand me and not have to repeat everything back because the transmission sounds like it just came back from Pioneer 10.
I don’t care about different ring tones for every individual in my phonebook. I don’t care for cutesy wallpapers. I don’t need “bling” or color coordination with my outfit even if it makes me look _fabulous_! I dnt txt ppl so f it. I don’t need calculators, calendars, games (that suck up the battery worse than Dracula on a bender and are as entertaining as crotchrot), cameras with the picture quality of a pinhole camera assembled by Stevie Wonder or Internet access that is slower than dialing AOL on a 2800 baud modem!
Would it kill the wireless community to take some of the money from the department that is turning cell phones into Swiss Army knives and give it to the freaking R&D department so they can make the stupid things work?
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