# What new keys do you want on your keyboard? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 7, 2000, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-keys-do-you-want-on-your-keyboard/40042 "2000-11-07T01:52:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![The\_Fear\_of\_Id](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c6cbf5/32.png) [@The\_Fear\_of\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Fear_of_Id)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-keys-do-you-want-on-your-keyboard/40042/1 "2000-11-07T01:52:03Z")
A computer cartoon says “For online investors, our new keyboard has four extra buttons: **Buy** , **Sell** , **Panic** , and\*\* Gloat\*\*” I got an e-postcard with the extra key **Oh shit!** (presumably = the “ **No Escape** ” key) ---
**Author:** ![Eo\_Echo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ebca7d/32.png) [@Eo\_Echo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eo_Echo)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-keys-do-you-want-on-your-keyboard/40042/2 "2000-11-07T02:01:33Z")
I could really use an eject key, which would be helpful when I write something particularly painfully putrid (like this post, for example). ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-keys-do-you-want-on-your-keyboard/40042/3 "2000-11-07T02:23:40Z")
What I need is a “DAMN” (download all male nudes) button. ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-keys-do-you-want-on-your-keyboard/40042/4 "2000-11-07T02:43:03Z")
I’d like the Windows-standard US keyset to be customisable to allow me to use ä, å, ö (the extra three letters in the Swedish alphabet). ---
**Author:** ![Spoonbender](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spoonbender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoonbender)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-keys-do-you-want-on-your-keyboard/40042/5 "2000-11-07T03:17:55Z")
New keys I want to see: Please Really Now FOD (Fuck Off and Die) Self-Destruct ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-keys-do-you-want-on-your-keyboard/40042/6 "2000-11-07T03:22:47Z")
F double-sharp. Oh! COMPUTER keyboard? ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-keys-do-you-want-on-your-keyboard/40042/7 "2000-11-07T04:14:47Z")
I think four or five “accent” keys that are used just like Shift, Ctrl, and Alt are used. Hold down ‘/’ accent key, then press ‘e’, and voila! ‘é’. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-keys-do-you-want-on-your-keyboard/40042/8 "2000-11-07T04:32:34Z")
I could use a “Hurry Up” key, provided it actually worked. ---
**Author:** ![KJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b2d939/32.png) [@KJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KJ)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-keys-do-you-want-on-your-keyboard/40042/9 "2000-11-07T04:38:41Z")
New keys? No. If you ask me, they should take away some of the extra keys they keep putting on new keyboards. Do I really need an “internet” key at the top? Seriously, how hard is it to click on the Netscape icon on my desktop? And I REALLY HATE these “back/forward” keys I have on my keyboard…imagine this: ```auto A ^ B < v > ``` The \<, \>, v, and ^ are my regular arrow keys, and the A and B are keys that take my web browser a page backward or forward in the history. This wouldn’t be so bad, except that I play a lot of games, and it really f\*\*ks me up when, for example, I’m playing in the dark and I have to feel my way to the keys quickly. The top row feels like the bottom row! And, it’s OT, but I once saw a fake picture of a keyboard that had “Everything You Will Ever Need To Use Windows 2000!” It was a keyboard with only 3 keys; Ctrl, Alt, and Delete. I wish I still had the location of the picture so I could provide a link. It was funny. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-keys-do-you-want-on-your-keyboard/40042/10 "2000-11-07T05:07:48Z")
“Never Mind” ---
**Author:** ![JuanDeCuba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a87d85/32.png) [@JuanDeCuba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JuanDeCuba)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-keys-do-you-want-on-your-keyboard/40042/11 "2000-11-07T05:11:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BlackKnight \* > \*\*I think four or five “accent” keys that are used just like Shift, Ctrl, and Alt are used. Hold down ‘/’ accent key, then press ‘e’, and voila! ‘é’. \*\* I’ve seen that one before. Its very useful for typing in spanish. ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-keys-do-you-want-on-your-keyboard/40042/12 "2000-11-07T05:59:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JuanDeCuba \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by BlackKnight \* > > \*\*I think four or five “accent” keys that are used just like Shift, Ctrl, and Alt are used. Hold down ‘/’ accent key, then press ‘e’, and voila! ‘é’. \*\* > > I’ve seen that one before. Its very useful for typing in spanish. \*\* Damn! I was going to patent that and make a fortune! Oh well, at least I still have my ingenious plan for edible plastic. ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-keys-do-you-want-on-your-keyboard/40042/13 "2000-11-07T06:49:53Z")
use your windows cd to switch keyboard language to “english (united states) - united states international” then simply pressing the " key and then a,e,i,o,u will give ä,ë,ï,ö,ü…presing “comma then c” gives ç, etc etc. lots of stuff…you gotta get used to slightly different typing (like hitting space after the " key to actually get a "), but its good for typing in languages with accents (i use it for french). im begining to think that the greek letters would be useful…the alt/ctrl functions are nice, but with all the lab reports i have to write, it would be good to have one button for mu and alpha and beta and lambda and sigma and delta and gamma and… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![OrcaChow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e47c2d/32.png) [@OrcaChow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OrcaChow)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-keys-do-you-want-on-your-keyboard/40042/14 "2000-11-07T07:52:16Z")
Easy.[ul] [li]Send Over Pizza.[/li][li]Send Over Beer.[/li][li]Send Over Sophie Marceau.[/li][/ul] On second thought, only one button is needed:[ul] [li]Have Sophie Marceau Bring Beer and Pizza.[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-keys-do-you-want-on-your-keyboard/40042/15 "2000-11-07T08:22:55Z")
I need a key marked C.A.D. for Control-Alt-Delete If this is the mantra of so many Window’s users I think having it on a single key would make reboots so much easier… ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-keys-do-you-want-on-your-keyboard/40042/16 "2000-11-07T08:33:19Z")
A button that delivers a mild electrical shock to the person of my choice sounds good to me. ---
**Author:** ![Anniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/cc9497/32.png) [@Anniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anniz)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-keys-do-you-want-on-your-keyboard/40042/17 "2000-11-07T09:20:07Z")
One that correct my English. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-keys-do-you-want-on-your-keyboard/40042/18 "2000-11-07T09:58:27Z")
I’d like the “Any” key for when the instructions tell you to press any key. ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-keys-do-you-want-on-your-keyboard/40042/19 "2000-11-07T12:31:19Z")
I could sure use a “recover from crash” key, but I’m sure Microsoft would disable that anyway. On a more serious note, I always thought that a little LCD display along the function keys would be nice. The software could use it to display the function of each key. Also a few multipurpose dials also labelled by LCD displays would be neat. Like the scroll wheels, except it can be used to control, say, the RGB values of an object in a graphics program, volume in music playback programs, FF/rewind in video playback, size of image in Powerpoint, etc. ALSO I WISH THEY WOULD GET RID OF THE CAPS LOCK KEY!! ---
**Author:** ![don\_Jaime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b4bc9f/32.png) [@don\_Jaime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_Jaime)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-keys-do-you-want-on-your-keyboard/40042/20 "2000-11-07T15:12:41Z")
Amen, Audrey. There’s days I could use a “Zap Stupid” key. A “Stop Downloading That Ad And Work On The Actual Page” key and a “Gimme the Goddam Mouse Cursor Back” key would be sweet, too. But I really want a manual override to park the heads. Too often Outlook refuses to close, or Windows falls asleep at the switch and I think I’ll never get to shut down. Just a switch that parks the heads no questions asked so I can leave. That’s all I ask. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-new-keys-do-you-want-on-your-keyboard/40042.md?page=2)