# What NICE things did your parents NOT teach you to do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 25, 2009, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-nice-things-did-your-parents-not-teach-you-to-do/490723 "2009-03-25T11:11:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-nice-things-did-your-parents-not-teach-you-to-do/490723/21 "2009-03-25T18:51:19Z")
My father was raised by wolves so I don’t even consider what he might have taught me, but my mother certainly dropped the ball on a number of things. For example: [ol] [li]Washing hands after using the rest room or before eating.[/li][li]Not littering when the item might be biodegradeable - she even left cigarette butts on the floors of stores.[/li][li]Thank you notes.[/li][li]Not burping or farting in company. I am pretty sure I was in 5th grade before I knew that.[/li][/ol] Oh, and she refused to tell me what a part in the hair was - I was just supposed to do it. Take that, you guys who didn’t know you tip at a hotel! ---
**Author:** ![filling\_pages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9bd4f/32.png) [@filling\_pages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filling_pages)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-nice-things-did-your-parents-not-teach-you-to-do/490723/22 "2009-03-25T19:09:41Z")
My mom and dad made sure we had decent table manners, didn’t burp or yowl in restaurants, said please and thank you. All the important stuff. But I swear I was in my 20s before I realized/found out that it is considered rude and sort of disgusting to scratch inside your ears around people. It just never came up. We were never told, “Get your finger out of your ear while you talk to Mr. Whatshisname” or anything like it. Nose? Yes. Ear? No. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-nice-things-did-your-parents-not-teach-you-to-do/490723/23 "2009-03-25T19:10:39Z")
> [@AngelSoft](#): > > I personally don’t think I need to tip anyone who makes at least minimum wage, but that’s just me. They’re the ones who decide if what they’re getting is a ‘fair wage’ not me. Now if I made a holy hell of a mess in my room, then maybe I’d leave a tip but I always leave my room pretty much spotless. Same here. If there is some “above the call of duty” like having to request more towels because I dropped mine in the swimming pool, or requesting additional complimentary tea bags because I have more than one cup of tea in the morning, then I will happily tip. If it is just the expected routine level of service, then no. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-nice-things-did-your-parents-not-teach-you-to-do/490723/24 "2009-03-25T19:43:31Z")
My parents are Agnostics and never taught me to say ‘bless you’ when someone sneezes. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-nice-things-did-your-parents-not-teach-you-to-do/490723/25 "2009-03-25T20:02:31Z")
My parents never taught me not to be racist. _Sesame Street_ did. They also never taught me not to be homophobic. I think that’s just common sense, tho. ---
**Author:** ![Neeps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a183cd/32.png) [@Neeps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neeps)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-nice-things-did-your-parents-not-teach-you-to-do/490723/26 "2009-03-25T21:23:02Z")
> [@filling\_pages](#): > > My mom and dad made sure we had decent table manners, didn’t burp or yowl in restaurants, said please and thank you. All the important stuff. But I swear I was in my 20s before I realized/found out that it is considered rude and sort of disgusting to scratch inside your ears around people. It just never came up. We were never told, “Get your finger out of your ear while you talk to Mr. Whatshisname” or anything like it. Nose? Yes. Ear? No. Whaaa? That’s considered rude? I suppose if you were mining for gold in there, but a little bit of harmless poking? Hmm…think I had better mind my manners in the future. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-nice-things-did-your-parents-not-teach-you-to-do/490723/27 "2009-03-25T22:01:25Z")
Throw away trash from movie-theater munchies. Mom always just dropped them on the floor under our feet. I had no idea there were trash cans provided until I was a teenager. Ditto car trash cans - candy wrappers went out the window. :rolleyes: I don’t recall handwashing after potty time being stressed either. I started doing that in elementary school when I realized other people were doing the same. ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-nice-things-did-your-parents-not-teach-you-to-do/490723/28 "2009-03-25T22:59:21Z")
The use of the inside voice … this completely escaped my family. Everyone is very LOUD. My college adviser had to explain the concept of the inside voice to me. I look back on that with a mixture of gratitude and embarrassment. Other than that, my mom could very well be Miss Manners, so I can’t imagine why she never picked up on the volume issue. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/57b2e6/32.png) [@Quasimodal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodal)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-nice-things-did-your-parents-not-teach-you-to-do/490723/29 "2009-03-25T23:02:15Z")
My parents are stingy as hell. They encouraged me not to donate to charity unless I got something in return. They even wanted me to charge my friends to use our photocopier when I was in High School! I think my parents were just lazy in some ways too. They never made a big deal of things when I was late for supper, or if I decided not to socialize when relatives were over. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-nice-things-did-your-parents-not-teach-you-to-do/490723/30 "2009-03-26T00:56:34Z")
My parents didn’t teach me to recycle - my college dorm did. They now recycle because I do. At first they did it only to humor me, but the town started making it free to recycle vs pay to throw away trash, so they do it a lot more willingly now. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-nice-things-did-your-parents-not-teach-you-to-do/490723/31 "2009-03-26T04:48:46Z")
> [@Arien](#): > > Tipping the hotel maid. I think I was about 16 or 17 before I realized it was customary to leave them a few bucks. I try to remind them about it now on the rare occasion they stay at a hotel. I never knew that til I was 45 . . . the first time I went anywhere by myself. When I got back a coworker asked my how much I tipped the maid. Huh? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-nice-things-did-your-parents-not-teach-you-to-do/490723/32 "2009-03-26T04:54:03Z")
> [@AngelSoft](#): > > So…are you supposed to tip your garbage man too? 😕 Only if you leave garbage in your hotel room. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-nice-things-did-your-parents-not-teach-you-to-do/490723/33 "2009-03-26T05:08:59Z")
> [@](#): > > **Mama Zappa** : Throw away trash from movie-theater munchies. Mom always just dropped them on the floor under our feet. I had no idea there were trash cans provided until I was a teenager. > > Ditto car trash cans - candy wrappers went out the window. My husband and I were born in the early 1940’s. The behavior that you have described was apparently the standard operating procedure when we were growing up. I think I was an adult before movie theaters actually asked patrons to toss their own drinks, candy wrappers and popcorn. Some theaters didn’t have carpeting. Floors were really sticky, but that was to be expected. Yuck! I’d forgotten how really awful it was! And most everyone tossed trash out the windows, I think. Someone was paid to pick it up. I can’t believe we did that! How horrible! First came those fines for littering and then people seemed to develop an awareness of what they were actually doing. My mother never taught me not to gossip. Neither of my parents taught me about how to fight fairly. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-nice-things-did-your-parents-not-teach-you-to-do/490723/34 "2009-03-26T05:47:53Z")
I’ve never figured out the logistics of tipping a hotel maid. Is there someplace to put money that’s clearly a tip and not just something I didn’t feel like carrying around at the moment? > [@aaslatten](#): > > Also, my parents never taught me how to properly cut a steak. I was 18 or 19 before someone showed me. Well, I know not to pick it up and tear off chunks with my teeth. And cut off small enough pieces that I can chew them with my mouth closed. Is there more to it than that? > [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > I have decided to boycott gift wrap from this year onward on environmental grounds. A friend is having a _Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy_ themed party for her 42nd birthday this year. I am already planning to wrap her present in a towel. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t read this board. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-nice-things-did-your-parents-not-teach-you-to-do/490723/35 "2009-03-26T13:42:45Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > My parents didn’t teach me to recycle - my college dorm did. How old are you? As far as I can remember, consumer recycling was more or less nonexistent until about 1995. My parent’s didn’t teach me to recycle either, but that’s because nobody did. (I’m 26). > [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > I’ve never figured out the logistics of tipping a hotel maid. Is there someplace to put money that’s clearly a tip and not just something I didn’t feel like carrying around at the moment? On the dresser or on top of the pillow, usually. ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-nice-things-did-your-parents-not-teach-you-to-do/490723/36 "2009-03-26T14:38:19Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > I’ve never figured out the logistics of tipping a hotel maid. Is there someplace to put money that’s clearly a tip and not just something I didn’t feel like carrying around at the moment? In almost every hotel I’ve been in, there seems to be some area – often on the desk or on top of the dresser – that the hotel uses to communicate stuff to you, like a tagboard tent that entices you to order room service, or a laminated instruction sheet about the automated check-out on the TV. That is where I put the tip. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-nice-things-did-your-parents-not-teach-you-to-do/490723/37 "2009-03-26T15:07:20Z")
Sometimes a hotel will have an envelope which makes it clear that it’s to be used to hold the maid’s tip. Otherwise, I will just generally write “For the maid” on a piece of hotel stationary, fold that around the money, and leave it on the dresser. Usually I only give a buck or two per night, unless I’ve been particularly messy. ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-nice-things-did-your-parents-not-teach-you-to-do/490723/38 "2009-03-26T15:11:33Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Sometimes a hotel will have an envelope which makes it clear that it’s to be used to hold the maid’s tip. Otherwise, I will just generally write “For the maid” on a piece of hotel stationary, fold that around the money, and leave it on the dresser. Usually I only give a buck or two per night, unless I’ve been particularly messy. If there’s no envelope my husband uses that as an excuse to not tip. Or he did till I let him know I could see what’s up. He’s in charge of carrying the cash. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-nice-things-did-your-parents-not-teach-you-to-do/490723/39 "2009-03-26T16:46:52Z")
> [@Caricci](#): > > If there’s no envelope my husband uses that as an excuse to not tip. Or he did till I let him know I could see what’s up. He’s in charge of carrying the cash. Wow. I’ve stayed at all levels of hotels in the USA and abroad, and I don’t ever recall seeing an envelope in the room for tipping. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-nice-things-did-your-parents-not-teach-you-to-do/490723/40 "2009-03-26T17:13:35Z")
I don’t remember being taught to wash my hands after using the bathroom. I do it, mind you, I just didn’t as a kid. But I rarely used public facilities. I also only recently caught on to “You’re welcome”. “Thank you” of course I was taught, but I think I was taught to be self-effacing and not think much of myself, and “you’re welcome” is too much of an acknowledgement that I did something worth anything in the world. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-nice-things-did-your-parents-not-teach-you-to-do/490723.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-nice-things-did-your-parents-not-teach-you-to-do/490723.md?page=3)