# What, no April minirants? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 4, 2011, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186 "2011-04-04T20:24:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 17
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/321 "2011-04-23T00:36:24Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Dear Next Door Neighbor - > > Do you think you could mow your lawn more often than every 2 weeks or so? And maybe do something about all those dandilions that blowing seeds into my lawn and gardens? Maybe if you hadn’t had 83,402,845 children until (almost literally) your uterus fell out, you could afford to buy a new mower instead of borrowing ours when you happen to see Mr Curl using it. OTOH, since most of those 83,402,845 children you had are male, seems you could buy a push mower and they could mow, instead of siring more babies and bringing them and their girlfriends home to live with you. > > Sigh. This doesn’t even address the deflated jumper in the front yard of the across the street and one over house or the six car owned by the folks who made their garage into another bedroom. Why does “family friendly” have to equal trashy? Coto de Caza HOA standards not exactly living up to your expectations, are they? ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/322 "2011-04-23T03:34:58Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > You guys are all at work today? You don’t get Good Friday as a stat holiday? Oh good god no. We have like two days a year when our call center is closed and about four where we actually get holiday pay. On the other side of the coin, we have about a similar number of ‘required’ work days, where you are required to work even if it is your normal day off. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/323 "2011-04-23T05:08:23Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Oh good god no. We have like two days a year when our call center is closed and about four where we actually get holiday pay. On the other side of the coin, we have about a similar number of ‘required’ work days, where you are required to work even if it is your normal day off. Well, that just sucks. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/324 "2011-04-23T05:30:01Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Coto de Caza HOA standards not exactly living up to your expectations, are they? Coto was still pristine land when this house was built - I don’t think they’d even started building by the time I moved down here but I’m not sure about that. OTOH, one doesn’t have to live in a gated community to resent living next door to people who cannot be bothered to take care of their property. What do lawns look like in Anaheim when they haven’t been mowed for at least 2 weeks? Not to mention the wealth of dandilions and the grass that is taking over the right side of their driveway… ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/325 "2011-04-23T12:18:37Z")
On the bright side, I had an argument yesterday with crazy lady who was arguing that it was Friday, October 21st, and not Friday, April 22nd. ---
**Author:** ![Bookkeeper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bookkeeper/32/281_2.png) [@Bookkeeper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bookkeeper)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/326 "2011-04-23T17:18:54Z")
> [@congodwarf](#): > > The one job that had me sobbing for an entire weekend because I really didn’t want to do it ended up being the only job in my life that I stayed at for more than 2 years (I was there nearly 5). I went from temp file clerk to full time file clerk (they bought out my contract in less than 2 weeks), to assistant CSR/file clerk, to full CSR, and then got a promotion to a better CSR position. > > I ended up loving that job, until that last position. I hated my final position so much (actually, it was the bitch I was forced to work with that I hated), that I left the job. > My point is that the only reason I even showed up for that job was because my boyfriend bought me $200 worth of new clothes (I hadn’t worked outside of a factory in 3 years and had no office appropriate clothes) so I kind of had to go. Every other job I’ve had, I’ve actually looked forward to starting and felt would be a good learning experience but ended up either sucking at or hating. > > You never know what you’re going to find yourself enjoying until you try it. If she does get the job, even if she does end up hating it, at least it’s money coming in while she looks for another. Second this. I had to move to a different job in an entirely different branch when my original job was relocated to the wilds of northern New Brunswick. It was either relocate with my original job (not in itself a serious problem at the time, but I was born in NB, knew what the area was like, and did not want to go there), take the offered one, or be laid off. I knew I would hate the offered job, and looked for any other opening I could, but ended up choosing to take it as the least bad option available. 32 years later, I am 3 years past entitlement for full retirement and still working in the same area, because I discovered that I like what I’m doing, like the people I work with, and love the challenges. Best work-related decision I ever made. ---
**Author:** ![Schrodinger\_s\_Platypus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Schrodinger\_s\_Platypus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Schrodinger_s_Platypus)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/327 "2011-04-23T17:51:03Z")
If the owners of these vacation cabins want me to consider their properties, they need to actually reply to my emails at some point! ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/328 "2011-04-23T18:28:13Z")
Fucking thieves. We need to chop of hands for this shit. Got home at 11pm last night, parked my car in the underground lot. Get down there at 7:30am to go to work. Someone has been in my car. Took the _Venture Bros Season 1_ DVD I accidentally left on the seat, the whole $2.12 that I had in the change cup, and half a pack of Dentine Cinnamon gum. Asshole. I want to find out who you are and have a ‘chat’ in the garage about this. Pray I don’t see you in the halls with my DVD. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/329 "2011-04-23T18:57:46Z")
> [@Schrodinger\_s\_Platypus](#): > > If the owners of these vacation cabins want me to consider their properties, they need to actually reply to my emails at some point! We had the same problem when I was looking for a caterer for our wedding - no response over and over. It was the biggest stress of the whole stressful she-bang. > [@Chimera](#): > > Fucking thieves. We need to chop of hands for this shit. > > Got home at 11pm last night, parked my car in the underground lot. Get down there at 7:30am to go to work. > > Someone has been in my car. Took the _Venture Bros Season 1_ DVD I accidentally left on the seat, the whole $2.12 that I had in the change cup, and half a pack of Dentine Cinnamon gum. > > Asshole. I want to find out who you are and have a ‘chat’ in the garage about this. Pray I don’t see you in the halls with my DVD. I hate that shit, too. We have to nail everything down and lock everything at all times or some sticky-fingered little bastard will walk off with it. What they can’t pick up and carry off, they break on the spot or deface. ---
**Author:** ![Canadjun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/76d3ee/32.png) [@Canadjun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadjun)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/330 "2011-04-23T19:51:10Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > On the bright side, I had an argument yesterday with crazy lady who was arguing that it was Friday, October 21st, and not Friday, April 22nd. Are you sure she wasn’t talking about the [end of the world](http://www.ebiblefellowship.com/may21/)? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/331 "2011-04-23T22:28:47Z")
Stupid, klutzy me! Caught my foot on an uneven tile at work, fell on top of said foot, and hobbled along till the end of my shift… Drove home, hoping that some ice and elevation and maybe an elastic bandage would be enough to get through the weekend. It wasn’t. X-rays indicate a fractured cuboid bone in my foot, and the immediate med doc suspects some ligament damage. Of course, it’s a holiday weekend, so I can’t get an ortho referral until Monday (and I can’t just go to the one my husband uses, since it’s workman’s comp, and I have to stay within our provider’s network.) So it’s a post-op boot, a quick lesson on how to use crutches, and otc pain meds until at least Monday… sigh. (The things I have to do to get a weekend off work!) (Okay, there’s lots of silver lining: My husband is still off work from his knee surgery, so I don’t have to try to juggle the baby and the crutches until I have a more permanent stabilizer on my foot. My co-workers were able to juggle their schedules so that I could be off until at least Wednesday night. And I had already done Easter Bunny shopping, instead of my usual “if it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never get anything done” mode.) ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2011, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/332 "2011-04-24T01:54:11Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > On the bright side, I had an argument yesterday with crazy lady who was arguing that it was Friday, October 21st, and not Friday, April 22nd. Must have been a call from the Southern Hemisphere. The seasons are reversed down there, ya know. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2011, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/333 "2011-04-24T01:55:02Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > On the bright side, I had an argument yesterday with crazy lady who was arguing that it was Friday, October 21st, and not Friday, April 22nd. No, you didn’t! An argument is a collective series of statements to establish a definite position. Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2011, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/334 "2011-04-24T02:25:13Z")
> [@phouka](#): > > No, you didn’t! > > An argument is a collective series of statements to establish a definite position. Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says. No, it isn’t! ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2011, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/335 "2011-04-24T05:03:38Z")
Yes, it is! ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2011, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/336 "2011-04-24T05:05:48Z")
> [@phouka](#): > > Yes, it is! Knock it off, you two, or I’ll whack you with my crutches! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2011, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/337 "2011-04-24T05:21:48Z")
No, you won’t! ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2011, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/338 "2011-04-24T05:24:43Z")
Yes, she will! ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2011, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/339 "2011-04-24T05:28:56Z")
Try it! ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2011, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/340 "2011-04-24T14:33:22Z")
That’s it. You asked for it. _“Oh freddled gruntbuggly/thy micturations are to me/As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee. Groop I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes. And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles, Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don’t!”_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186.md?page=16) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186.md?page=18)