# What, no April minirants? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 4, 2011, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186 "2011-04-04T20:24:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Finally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/67e7ee/32.png) [@Finally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finally)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/121 "2011-04-08T23:39:41Z")
Fuck you department store that has everything. After 15 years of having an account with you and paying before the bill is due EVERY TIME you’re seriously dinging my credit score causing me a higher interest rate on my refi? And because you said I did not pay a bill for 60 days…really? My insistence that no bill was received because I returned the merchandise goes ignored…really? And replying to my heartfelt plea to reverse the negative hit on my credit rating with a form letter…really? Fuck fuck fuck fuck. No more shopping at rhymes-with-holes. Fuck. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/122 "2011-04-09T03:07:20Z")
I had to record a lesson today for class. Of course the camera conked out, so I’m screwed. I’ve got proof that I gave the lesson, but no video. I’m hoping that my professor will take pity on me and give me credit for it anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/123 "2011-04-09T04:32:49Z")
Why do I get one call a week from some DUMBASS who has their entire life’s worth of critical business contacts in ONE PLACE, without backups, and then when something happens to them, they want to blame us and try to force us\* to wave our magic wands and recover it for them? Likewise, if the information was in a program not written by us, then you need to call them, not us. If you install a Pioneer stereo in a Ford, you don’t call Ford to service the stereo. Screaming “But I’m using it on your hardware” is pathetically stupid and you should be smacked in the head with [this mace](http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.preferredarms.com/images/weapons/large/axes_and_maces/Heavy-Flanged-Mace.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.preferredarms.com/weapons/axes_maces_polearms.php&h=600&w=800&sz=74&tbnid=u3HITYtuXaCk8M:&tbnh=107&tbnw=143&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dheavy%2Bmace%2Bimage%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=heavy+mace+image&hl=en&usg=__XMyLa_rTuwqPF11LIWZK5kJPjcQ=&sa=X&ei=VuGfTe7EDsTIgQeq45TaBQ&ved=0CCAQ9QEwAg) for saying it. Dear sweet Og. If those numbers were that critical to me, I’d not only have them in more than one place, I’d probably keep them in an old style written address book (you remember those, right?) and burn them to disk once or twice a year. - Hint: It really doesn’t matter how much you scream and swear, or threaten to sue. If I cannot do what you ask, I cannot do it. All you’re accomplishing is making it more likely that I will simply hang up on your ass. I’m not intimidated by people screaming into a phone. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/124 "2011-04-09T14:10:15Z")
What the fuck? I go to online chat with Verizon because I’m interested in their fiber optic service, but the website doesn’t list the TV channels available. So I ask “Howard” about it, and he directs me to a different website. Then he says he can help me find out if it’s available in my area if I give him my complete home address. “I’d rather not” says I, “but here is the city and zip code.” “Please give me your complete address, including apartment number, etc.” “I said ‘no’, and I meant ‘no’. Goodbye, asshole.” Disconnect. So then I go to the other Verizon website and there’s a block to type in just the zip code to find out about service (there is none). So at least I struck a small blow against all the fucking junk mail that shows up everytime you give someone any contact information. Now if I could just train my spouse to uncheck those boxes on websites and to refuse to give out email information to sales people. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/125 "2011-04-09T15:42:10Z")
More mother-fucking snow! Another inch and a half overnight. Oh, the humanity! ---
**Author:** ![congodwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/126 "2011-04-09T16:14:58Z")
At the beginning of the week, you said you’d contact us each and tell us which section of the chapter we have to read and summarize. This goes against the usual practice of us all reading the entire chapter. So, we sit patiently, waiting for you to tell us what the damn assignment is. Today, about 36 hours before the assignment is due, when the weather is beautiful and when I actually have stuff to do on a weekend for once, you post the assignment. Everyone read the entire fucking chapter. GAH!!! My frustration is totally my fault though. I was going to read the entire chapter anyway because after 10 weeks of you, I had a feeling you’d pull this shit. But, with 3 tests, a death, 2 flat tires (on 2 different vehicles), a really nasty GYN visit, and all the other shit that has gone on in the last 7 days, I decided that there just wasn’t time for the damn chapter and I’d wait for you to tell me which section to read. I’m such a fucking moron. So no, I’m not ranting about you (for once). I’m ranting at myself for being a gullible idiot. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/127 "2011-04-09T16:54:59Z")
Another of life’s axioms: if random stranger calls you “sir”, the next thing out of his mouth will be a pitch for money. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/128 "2011-04-09T17:32:50Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Another of life’s axioms: if random stranger calls you “sir”, the next thing out of his mouth will be a pitch for money. Or “I must ask you to leave.” Maybe that’s just my circle of friends, though… ---
**Author:** ![minor7flat5](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/minor7flat5/32/258_2.png) [@minor7flat5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minor7flat5)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/129 "2011-04-09T18:24:23Z")
Just saw the following events a few minutes ago: I was with the teenagers, driving down a nearby street, coming home. The traffic was a bit busy. There were a few vehicles in front of us going kind of slow. Suddenly, three guys on sport motorcycles came racing by on the right shoulder. As I mused at their foolishness, I watched as a guy in a black Suburban way in front pulled over to block the bikes. The motorcyclists slowed down, and the guy was clearly intentionally blocking them. Then, after jockeying about, doing the blocking game for a few hundred yards, he suddenly jerked his wheel to the right and turned into an apartment complex. Had the rightmost biker blinked at that moment, my family would have watched a man die today. It was clear that the driver was full of road rage. He stopped right inside the entrance and started shouting at the bikers, who also were ready for a fight. He had not signaled the sudden turn. It was done on purpose. Grrrrr… ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/130 "2011-04-09T22:11:31Z")
Its flipping SNOWING!!! I woke up this moring with all this evil white stuff on the ground and it keeps falling from the air. I live in the middle of the desert, its just NOT right to see snow on cactus. ---
**Author:** ![thursday\_next](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8797f3/32.png) [@thursday\_next](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thursday_next)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2011, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/131 "2011-04-10T01:58:50Z")
Our power has been out for over two hours, with no return in sight. It went out shortly after I woke up so it’s not like I can take a nap. Also 3G is not anywhere near as fast as I’ve been led to believe. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2011, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/132 "2011-04-10T02:19:36Z")
At least you have 3G. They still won’t won’t introduce it here, because the big local industry players are holding out for more bribe money! Even Mount Everest has 3G, I kid you not, and Cambodia is talking about moving to 4G, but can _we_ have 3G? No-o-o-o-o. ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2011, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/133 "2011-04-10T10:27:06Z")
I misplaced my sapphire ring and am panicky. Fuck motherfucking asshammer shithead fuckup. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2011, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/134 "2011-04-10T21:58:44Z")
Ah, yes, spring is in the air here today, too (in fact, today was SPRING DAY!!! here! 😃 ). There were young men making as much noise with their vehicles as they possibly could, I assume in the hopes of attracting a mate. Good luck with that, fellas. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/135 "2011-04-11T13:07:58Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Ah, yes, spring is in the air here today, too (in fact, today was SPRING DAY!!! here! 😃 ). There were young men making as much noise with their vehicles as they possibly could, I assume in the hopes of attracting a mate. Good luck with that, fellas. Were they wearing colorful plumage? ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/136 "2011-04-11T13:36:31Z")
> [@anya\_marie](#): > > I misplaced my sapphire ring and am panicky. Fuck motherfucking asshammer shithead fuckup. Find it yet? When I was in high school, I mislaid my Twue Wuv’s class ring. I panicked like you ain’t never seen, but it was eventually found in a crumpled up dishtowel I’d been using. So be sure to look there… ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/137 "2011-04-11T14:38:05Z")
I scratched the hell out of the roof of my mouth a coupla days ago. Then, yesterday, I was hungry and ate something out of the microwave too fast, and \*burned \*it, too. My mouf hurts. ☹ Also, this is the second Monday morning in a row that my vision is swimming from lack of sleep because of middle-of-the-night thunderstorms keeping me up with the thunder ‘n’ lighting disco show. My kingdom, such as it is, for a nap … ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/138 "2011-04-11T14:40:25Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > Find it yet? > > When I was in high school, I mislaid my Twue Wuv’s class ring. I panicked like you ain’t never seen, but it was eventually found in a crumpled up dishtowel I’d been using. So be sure to look there… But why would **anya marie** have your crumpled-up dishtowel from high school? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/139 "2011-04-11T15:03:27Z")
I have been sick for 3 fucking weeks. I’m so sick of being sick, sick of whining about being sick, and sick of figuring out how to deal with work while being sick. I’ve seen the doctor and it is just a flu virus, and the duration is apparently quite normal for the strain that’s going around right now but I’ve had enough. MAKE IT STOP. ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/140 "2011-04-11T16:08:16Z")
The ring was in a drawer full of summer tops, and i couldn’t find it because it was full, i found it just as i was getting ready to dump the drwer out on to the bed to see if it was there. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186.md?page=8)