# What, no April minirants? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 4, 2011, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186 "2011-04-04T20:24:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/141 "2011-04-11T16:17:31Z")
> [@anya\_marie](#): > > The ring was in a drawer full of summer tops, and i couldn’t find it because it was full, i found it just as i was getting ready to dump the drwer out on to the bed to see if it was there. Yay! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/142 "2011-04-11T17:28:49Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > But why would **anya marie** have your crumpled-up dishtowel from high school? 😃 She can’t be sure it’s not there unless she checks, that’s all I’m saying… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/143 "2011-04-11T17:32:44Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Were they wearing colorful plumage? I think the cars, bikes, and trucks were their plumage, so yes. 🙂 I hate the censorship of songs on Band Hero. You censor “whiskey?” “Notch on a bedpost?” WTF? I wish there was a parental control censorship thing that I could turn off and get to hear the songs as they were recorded. ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/144 "2011-04-11T17:37:45Z")
I have my own crumpled up dishtowels. I’m pretty sure there’s no jewelry there but when i emptied my pockets, things got a little stupid. ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/145 "2011-04-11T17:39:54Z")
> [@Moonlitherial](#): > > I have been sick for 3 fucking weeks. I’ve seen the doctor and it is just a flu virus, and the duration is apparently quite normal for the strain that’s going around right now but I’ve had enough. I’m so there. Only have to substitute bronchitis for flu and coughing like i’m trying to lose a lung. If I didn’t know any better i’d think my body as trying to kill me. ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/146 "2011-04-11T17:43:28Z")
Why do you want to make your son’s life easier by cooking for him when he treats you like shit and doesn’t want to let you see your grandson? If I did to my mother what he’s doing to you, she’d tell me to piss up a rope. And she wouldn’t go out of her way to help with anything. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/147 "2011-04-11T18:20:44Z")
> [@anya\_marie](#): > > If I did to my mother what he’s doing to you, **she’d tell me to piss up a rope.** :eek: Can girls even DO that? ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/148 "2011-04-11T18:21:59Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > [ComicsAlliance - Comic book culture, news, humor and commentary.](http://www.comicsalliance.com/2011/03/25/scott-adam-sexist-mens-rights/) > > He’s also apparently [a fan of intelligent design](http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2007/01/will_scott_adams_never_learn.php). So… Jacquelope writes Dilbert? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/149 "2011-04-11T19:08:00Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > :eek: Can girls even DO that? Well, it’s harder, sure, but you can certainly TELL girls to do that. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/150 "2011-04-11T20:20:41Z")
Our normal turnaround time to replace EBT debit cards is 5-10 business days. Somehow, every client who has asked for a replacement card calls up after 4 or 5 days (2 of which have usually been over a weekend) and complains they don’t have their card yet, and their caseworker TOLD THEM that it would be here by Monday at the latest! The sad thing is I don’t know if this is something that the caseworkers are actually saying or if it’s something the client thought they heard the caseworker say. Or, indeed, if it’s something the client just completely made up. Bleah! ---
**Author:** ![Time\_Stranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5fc32e/32.png) [@Time\_Stranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Time_Stranger)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/151 "2011-04-11T20:25:31Z")
Goddammit, my local grocery Co-Op that I am a working volunteer for has decided to pick up the mantle of Anti-Fluoridation loonies and are bombarding our local government with their panic screeds. We are a food and farming Co-Op, people. Can’t we just go back to digging in the dirt and shucking over-priced carrots to hippies/guilt-ridden-yuppies?! I have worked there for years and I really enjoy most of the company, but I am not going to be partner to something so dumb. Rage! ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/152 "2011-04-11T20:44:58Z")
Is your community large enough to support two co-ops? A schism might be in order. ---
**Author:** ![BomTek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bomtek/32/21364_2.png) [@BomTek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BomTek)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/153 "2011-04-11T21:54:24Z")
For some reason, I’ve lately been obsessed with the idea that one of my molars is going to fall out. Let’s see if I can explain this… it’s been happening every single time I’ve had something chewy or sticky in my mouth (yeah, I know, har har). I’ll get this feeling that one of my top molars, not the last one in back but the one in front of that and usually the one on the right, is going to pop right out while I’m chewing. My teeth are very healthy… I usually get commended on the job I’m doing when I get my dental checkups. So I have zero real reason to think that one of my teeth is going to spontaneously fall out. Where in the world did this feeling come from and why has it been in the back of my mind for two weeks now!!! ---
**Author:** ![Toxgoddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Toxgoddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toxgoddess)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/154 "2011-04-11T22:10:14Z")
I absolutely loathe it when a waiter/waitress tells me “I am so-and-so and I’ll be taking care of you.” It sounds so godawful patronizng, as if they are the adult and I am the helpless child. Listen: You are not my mother. You are not “taking care of me”. I can take care of myself. You are waiting on me. You are a SERVER. It’s your job. There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s a perfectly honest job, let’s call it what it is. When did “waiter” and “server” become politically incorrect? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/155 "2011-04-11T22:24:00Z")
Thanks, local weatherman - I checked your online tweets before going for my walk, and I don’t recall seeing WRATH OF GOD SLEET listed anywhere. ::wrings out jacket and pants, tries to get feeling back in face:: ---
**Author:** ![Rysto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecccb3/32.png) [@Rysto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysto)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/156 "2011-04-11T22:38:33Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Thanks, local weatherman - I checked your online tweets before going for my walk, and I don’t recall seeing WRATH OF GOD SLEET listed anywhere. ::wrings out jacket and pants, tries to get feeling back in face:: > [@](#): > > Location: Calgary, AB. Pretty sure that’s your problem right there. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/157 "2011-04-11T23:40:31Z")
> [@BomTek](#): > > For some reason, I’ve lately been obsessed with the idea that one of my molars is going to fall out. Let’s see if I can explain this… it’s been happening every single time I’ve had something chewy or sticky in my mouth (yeah, I know, har har). I’ll get this feeling that one of my top molars, not the last one in back but the one in front of that and usually the one on the right, is going to pop right out while I’m chewing. > My teeth are very healthy… I usually get commended on the job I’m doing when I get my dental checkups. So I have zero real reason to think that one of my teeth is going to spontaneously fall out. Where in the world did this feeling come from and why has it been in the back of my mind for two weeks now!!! Dunno. Maybe a Doper dentist will see your post and come in and answer. Failing that, when are you scheduled for your next checkup? You might want to consider pushing the date up a little, and bringing that question along with you. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2011, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/158 "2011-04-12T00:01:45Z")
Take the $65 million and shut the fuck up, [Winklevoss twins](http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/04/11/us-facebook-winklevoss-idUSTRE73A5DX20110411). Stop wasting our taxpayer funded court’s time with this nonsense already. You lost. Give it up and move on. Appreciate the buckets of money you already have and find another purpose in life other than whining and suing. The two of you are the most ludicrously spoiled assholes on the entire planet. I’m not a particularly vindictive person but I swear a part of me hopes you fucking morons get a nasty cancer so you can finally have something real to complain about. ---
**Author:** ![Tess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@Tess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tess)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2011, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/159 "2011-04-12T00:43:59Z")
**Little Bird** - Miss Manners has a phrase that’s useful when turning down ‘well-intentioned’ people. Simply end with, “I’m sure you understand!” Update the reasons as needed. “Sorry, MIL, we’d \*love \* to drive clear across the country but just can’t, what with my pregnancy/the hatchling needing to poop or eat every 20 minutes/the fledgling not handling long trips/ keeping up with soccer, conversational French and piano lessons. I’m \*sure \* you understand!” My own mini-rant: The gas company left a notice on my door that they’ll be replacing the service sometime next week. No information on how this will affect me so I call the number on the notice. Automated system says, “If you received a service notice, press 2.” This takes me to options to pay my bill (already done) or provide payment confirmation (don’t need). No option to go back to main menu, so I redial. My other choices are: report a gas leak, pay a bill, switch service to a new house, open an account, or all other services. All other services takes me right back to paying or confirming. There’s no staying on the line for a rep, no backing up, basically no useful information. I’m half tempted to try reporting a gas leak, since I might get a live person and if this service takes out my pilot lights I will likely have gas leaking in the house. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2011, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186/160 "2011-04-12T08:03:27Z")
> [@Toxgoddess](#): > > I absolutely loathe it when a waiter/waitress tells me “I am so-and-so and I’ll be taking care of you.” It sounds so godawful patronizng, as if they are the adult and I am the helpless child. Listen: You are not my mother. You are not “taking care of me”. One of my coworkers once answered “oh great, you’ll do my laundry? Cool!” in her carebears voice. She’s kind of scary when she uses her carebears voice, it’s a bit like getting a “good night, honey” from Freddy Krueger. You get this sudden urge to make sure your will’s in order. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-no-april-minirants/577186.md?page=9)