# What non-sexual stuff do you miss when you're not in a relationship? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 23, 2005, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968 "2005-12-23T14:23:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2005, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/1 "2005-12-23T14:23:44Z")
Me, I looooooooove getting my back scratched. Love it love it love it. Even with a good back-scratcher, doing it myself just isn’t the same – there’s something about “up a little – a tad to the right – yeah, there…” (commence hind leg thumping). ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2005, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/2 "2005-12-23T14:26:25Z")
When I saw the thread title, I came in here to say exactly that! The way to my heart is definitely through my back, and when there’s no one available to scratch or rub my back, I’m all out of sorts. I also miss having someone else to kill the spiders. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2005, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/3 "2005-12-23T14:28:56Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Me, I looooooooove getting my back scratched. Love it love it love it. > > Even with a good back-scratcher, doing it myself just isn’t the same – there’s something about “up a little – a tad to the right – yeah, there…” (commence hind leg thumping). Since when isn’t backscratching sexual? ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2005, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/4 "2005-12-23T14:29:26Z")
Just a good old fashioned hug. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2005, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/5 "2005-12-23T14:32:47Z")
Non-sexual…non-sexual… Hang on, I’m thinking. **NON** -sexual? Implying without sex? Ok, lemme see… :rolleyes: ☹ Nope, 'fraid not. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2005, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/6 "2005-12-23T14:35:44Z")
> [@pseudotriton ruber ruber](#): > > Since when isn’t backscratching sexual? Heh. You’re right though – because it’s definitely not something I’d ask a platonic male friend to do, whereas I have no problems asking a platonic male friend to kill a spider or open a jar. ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2005, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/7 "2005-12-23T16:50:41Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > …it’s definitely not something I’d ask a platonic male friend to do… Maybe your method of back scratching differs from mine, but touchin’ a lady’s back and squashin’ a spider ain’t the same ballpark, ain’t the same league, ain’t even the same fuckin’ sport. ---
**Author:** ![Mint\_Julep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/bc79bd/32.png) [@Mint\_Julep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mint_Julep)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2005, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/8 "2005-12-23T17:01:07Z")
I miss giving back scratches. I used to do that every night to my ex 'till he fell asleep. He always offered to scratch mine, but I it is not my thing. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2005, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/9 "2005-12-23T17:16:15Z")
Making breakfast. Nothing starts a Saturday off right like a bleary, post-coital meal of pancakes and coffee. It really isn’t the same when you’re by yourself. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2005, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/10 "2005-12-23T17:17:38Z")
Hard to answer as I consider all our …relations to be sexual, including arguing over the phone bill. But in keeping with the sirit of the thread, how about falling asleep next to him. Even when he snores. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2005, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/11 "2005-12-23T17:37:58Z")
Cuddling in bed while watching a movie. Ordering food in and eating dinner in pajamas. ---
**Author:** ![brownie55](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f14d63/32.png) [@brownie55](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brownie55)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2005, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/12 "2005-12-23T17:57:12Z")
Dinner conversation, and just sharing your day. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2005, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/13 "2005-12-23T18:01:06Z")
The fact that with one quick look, your SO knows exactly what you’re thinking. ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2005, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/14 "2005-12-23T18:24:09Z")
Being able to turn to someone after seeing something gread and share it. Having ice in my drinks. Let me explain - the most terrible sound for me (worse than fingernails on chalkboards) is the sound of crunching ice, but I enjoy ice in soft drinks and lemonade and such. My SOs have always been very tolerant of that foible and have been nice enough when they are around to take ice out of ice trays or crunch it up for drinks. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2005, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/15 "2005-12-23T18:30:40Z")
All the stuff you rarely or never do with friends, like spontaneously going out for dinner, watching a movie, or going on a cruise. I’m still good friends with the ex and just yesterday we had the kind of day we had all the time when we were together - eating out for lunch, shopping, having a few beers, eating out for dinner - and that was nice, but it happens too rarely now that I’m single. And it’s not _quite_ the same either. I’ve pretty much decided to stay out of relationships, and the sex isn’t what I’m going to miss, it’s these little events. Renting a movie and watching it with some snacks. Getting hungry while out walking and popping into a restaurant for a bite. Going for short trips on a whim. Those things that never happen with friends. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2005, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/16 "2005-12-23T18:34:42Z")
> [@JohnBckWLD](#): > > Maybe your method of back scratching differs from mine, but touchin’ a lady’s back and squashin’ a spider ain’t the same ballpark, ain’t the same league, ain’t even the same fuckin’ sport. Would you give a guy a back-scratch? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2005, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/17 "2005-12-23T18:44:28Z")
Being completely silly together. Doing house-type things, like hanging pictures even. Building furniture. Watching a movie together and laughing at all the same lines. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2005, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/18 "2005-12-23T18:44:38Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Would you give a guy a back-scratch? If a guy doesn’t know the difference between a back-scratch and squishing a spider, I’m not letting him scratch my back. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2005, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/19 "2005-12-23T18:53:09Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > If a guy doesn’t know the difference between a back-scratch and squishing a spider, I’m not letting him scratch my back. "Hang on, dude.’ WHAM! hee hee ---
**Author:** ![Black\_Train\_Song](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4da419/32.png) [@Black\_Train\_Song](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Black_Train_Song)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2005, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/20 "2005-12-23T18:53:55Z")
Can I put what I miss about NOT being in a relationship since I’ve been married for a long time? I miss the flirting that goes on between two people that don’t know eachother real well yet. Sure my wife and I flirt but it’s different. Ah well, sorry. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968.md?page=2)