# What non-sexual stuff do you miss when you're not in a relationship? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 23, 2005, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968 "2005-12-23T14:23:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2005, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/21 "2005-12-23T18:54:20Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Being completely silly together. > > Doing house-type things, like hanging pictures even. Building furniture. > > Watching a movie together and laughing at all the same lines. _swoon_ ---
**Author:** ![cowgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@cowgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cowgirl)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2005, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/22 "2005-12-23T19:06:41Z")
Waking up next to him. Even better: waking up next to him, realizing it’s Saturday, and snuggling up and going back to sleep. Having dinner ready when I get home. ---
**Author:** ![Rashak\_Mani](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rashak\_Mani](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rashak_Mani)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2005, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/23 "2005-12-23T19:10:32Z")
Incredible… no one made the “its not sex” humorous reference to Bill Clinton ! Well besides blowjobs… I do miss cuddling and caressing hair. ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2005, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/24 "2005-12-23T19:49:41Z")
I’m the sort of guy who goes out of his way to bring good, tasty chicken soup to people I know who are sick. I often include a book or something to do in bed while they recover. No one’s done this for me since I was 18. My ex-fiancee. I miss it. A lot. Having someone who will just -do- things for you, especially when you’re not at your best. ---
**Author:** ![partlycloudy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/partlycloudy/32/3114_2.png) [@partlycloudy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/partlycloudy)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2005, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/25 "2005-12-23T21:07:08Z")
I miss having someone to run errands with. You know, going to Wal-Mart (or in my case, anywhere BUT Wal-mart), and smelling all the body soaps & deoderants and having help deciding which one smells the best. Even going to the bank, the DMV, wherever… and not having to stand in line alone all the time. I miss having someone to cook with. I miss the back-scratching thing too. I wish I had someone to travel with. I wish I had someone to read books with (either to each other - which can be surprisingly fun - or just reading books/magazines next to them and having them ask what you’re laughing about, etc). I used to miss having someone to go to the movies with, then I discovered the joy of solo movie-hopping! Great fun, you get to watch whatever movies you want, stay at the theatre all day if you want, and you can leave if the movie sucks without having to feel bad. I still miss having someone to watch scary movies with though, since I love them but have a hard time watching them alone. ---
**Author:** ![Llama\_Llogophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@Llama\_Llogophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llama_Llogophile)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2005, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/26 "2005-12-23T23:54:39Z")
> [@ArrMatey!](#): > > I’m the sort of guy who goes out of his way to bring good, tasty chicken soup to people I know who are sick. > > Having someone who will just -do- things for you, especially when you’re not at your best. OMG, I’ve been thinking this all day because I’m home sick. I feel like crap, and would give anything to have someone taking care of me today. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2005, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/27 "2005-12-24T00:29:24Z")
> [@LoganDear](#): > > I wish I had someone to read books with (either to each other - which can be surprisingly fun - or just reading books/magazines next to them and having them ask what you’re laughing about, etc). oo I’d forgotten about that. I used to love reading aloud, and listening. It made the experience so much more enjoyable, and it was interesting to hear how someone else read a specific turn of phrase. man, this is starting to get depressing. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2005, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/28 "2005-12-24T01:19:07Z")
> [@saoirse](#): > > man, this is starting to get depressing. Yeah, maybe this wasn’t a good can of worms to open. I just had an itchy back this morning, and it got me thinking. ---
**Author:** ![wonderlust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonderlust/32/7237_2.png) [@wonderlust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonderlust)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2005, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/29 "2005-12-24T03:32:43Z")
> [@LoganDear](#): > > I wish I had someone to read books with (either to each other - which can be surprisingly fun - or just reading books/magazines next to them and having them ask what you’re laughing about, etc). This is one of my favorite things besides sex and foot massages. Same sofa, heads at opposite ends, lying down, legs tangled. Sharing favorite passages. Foot massage ensues. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2005, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/30 "2005-12-24T05:22:08Z")
I love how some folks can blend in sub themes-you guys rock! 😃 As a cardaholic, I miss the chance to hide cards in undie drawers, pocketbooks, under pillows, etc. ---
**Author:** ![pokey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ebca7d/32.png) [@pokey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pokey)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2005, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/31 "2005-12-24T05:32:18Z")
> [@Rashak Mani](#): > > Incredible… no one made the “its not sex” humorous reference to Bill Clinton ! > > Well besides blowjobs… I do miss cuddling and caressing hair. I do miss Bill Clinton! But it isn’t non-sexual. And really, he and I have never had a “relationship” _per se_. I still miss his sweet, sweet voice on my TV all the time though. The nonsexual thing I miss about having a relationship is having a thigh to rest my head on while I watch TV and someone to touch my hair. Now I never watch TV. How can I concentrate on TV when all I can think about is how untouched my hair is? I also miss being encouraged. I’m not very good at encouraging myself. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2005, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/32 "2005-12-24T05:32:57Z")
Holding hands. And before anyone gets started on the sexual connotations of that, I mean just a companionable holding of hands. Saying the person’s name and having him or her say, “What?” Hugging. Just hanging out with someone knowing there’s nothing else the two of you would rather do. OK, now I’m getting kind of depressed. ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/33 "2005-12-25T16:13:52Z")
What I immediately miss between girlfriends is having someone to help get drudgery done: dishes, shopping, clothes, yardwork and household maintenance. Left to my own devices, my whole house will look like my dorm room in a few weeks. What I miss most deeply over time is having an excuse to do something unexpectedly and spontaneously romantic, something I’m – to quote a ex-girlfriend – “seriously terrific at.” I like showing off how inventively clever and appreciative I am. I enjoy doing something so doggone thoughtful she cries. Cooking breakfast. Fixing something. A sweet note. Leaving a copy of that book she’s been meaning to buy. Lunch dates out. Dinner dates in. Feeding her slices of apples from my pocket knife with her head in my lap. Massages. Mix tape CDs. … if I’m to be honest, though, most of this stuff to me are thinly-veiled sexual overtures ANYWAY. Especially… now that I write this stuff down… anything involving food. Hmmm. ---
**Author:** ![Logically\_Loquacious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Logically\_Loquacious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Logically_Loquacious)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/34 "2005-12-25T17:01:04Z")
> [@Black Train Song](#): > > Can I put what I miss about NOT being in a relationship since I’ve been married for a long time? > > I miss the flirting that goes on between two people that don’t know eachother real well yet. Sure my wife and I flirt but it’s different. > > Ah well, sorry. Why stop flirting? I flirted with my husband right up to the day that he died. What do I miss? Most of them have been mentioned here, but mine are: 1. Watching scary movies together on a stormy night 2. Scratching his itchy back 3. Having someone to come home to and tell him how good or crappy my day was 4. Flirting with him 5. Cooking for him 6. Someone said it in here: his encouragement of ALL of my endeavors no matter how lame they were 7. Someone to tell me if the picture was straight on the wall 8. Someone to drink cocoa with and watch the lights twinkle on the Christmas tree. ::sniff:: ::I miss him:: Okay, gotta go get ready to go to the pity invite of the coupled friend who feels sorry for their single, widowed friend. But that’s a different thread… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/35 "2005-12-25T17:17:42Z")
Hugging. ---
**Author:** ![woodstock989](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f05b48/32.png) [@woodstock989](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstock989)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/36 "2005-12-25T23:43:22Z")
Everything. Every bit of it. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2005, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/37 "2005-12-26T05:46:01Z")
I miss snuggling. I miss, when hurt, being able to run to the person and dissolve into sobs in his arms, secure that he can protect me. I miss complete understanding. I miss the feeling of complete, secure, warm love wrapping around me just by hearing his voice. I miss gentle teasing. I miss being silly and cute. I especially miss not worrying about whether I’ll grow old alone or if I’ve lost the ability to love. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2005, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/38 "2005-12-26T06:01:16Z")
Being waited on hand and foot. The flip side of that as well. The cooking in particular. My last GF: I miss being able to debate religious or philosophical issues and NOT have to worry about the other one getting pissed or offended. And boy did we have some great debates!! ---
**Author:** ![partlycloudy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/partlycloudy/32/3114_2.png) [@partlycloudy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/partlycloudy)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2005, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/39 "2005-12-27T04:46:22Z")
Oh, another thing. I miss being able to go to restaurants and split meals. It’s especially nice when you both like the same kinds of food. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2005, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968/40 "2005-12-27T06:41:27Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Me, I looooooooove getting my back scratched. Love it love it love it. > > Even with a good back-scratcher, doing it myself just isn’t the same – there’s something about “up a little – a tad to the right – yeah, there…” (commence hind leg thumping). Thinking on a specific relationship with the woman I have to call the love of my life… It’s the way she absolutely believed in me, believed in my capacity to better myself, believed in my potential. The best example? Well, I don’t like celebrating my birthday–I find it depressing–but, even though we’ve been broken up for years, she still always calls me and says that SHE is happy I’m in the world, so my birthday is worth celebrating for her. M [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-non-sexual-stuff-do-you-miss-when-youre-not-in-a-relationship/336968.md?page=3)