# What NOT to do while watching "Passion" **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 27, 2004, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501 "2004-02-27T18:40:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2004, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/21 "2004-02-27T21:05:48Z")
“Man, those special effects look so _fake!_” ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2004, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/22 "2004-02-27T21:07:41Z")
> [@](#): > > 1. Belt out “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” during the crucifixion scene “Crucifixion?” “yes” “Good.” ---
**Author:** ![Dizzy\_Fingers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dizzy\_Fingers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dizzy_Fingers)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2004, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/23 "2004-02-27T22:28:37Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > When Pilate offers the crowd their choice of Jesus or Barabbas, thou shalt not cry out “What’s behind Curtain Number 3?” or scream “OJ! OJ! OJ!” Or “Welease Wodewick!”. ---
**Author:** ![Zap\_Rowsdower](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3da27b/32.png) [@Zap\_Rowsdower](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zap_Rowsdower)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2004, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/24 "2004-02-27T22:30:18Z")
As the final scene fades in **Announcers Voice** say: Pontias Pilate received a telegram stating that Jesus was found alive, well, and of normal size some eight thousand miles away in a lifeboat. ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2004, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/25 "2004-02-27T22:54:37Z")
during the crucifixion scene: “That doesn’t look so bad.” “Why is it I feel like a shish kebab all of a sudden?” I feel the need to apologise. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2004, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/26 "2004-02-27T22:57:29Z")
The last post was for everybody. I was going to reply to a post but changed my mind. My mistake :o ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2004, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/27 "2004-02-27T23:21:48Z")
When I saw it the theater, just as they were raising the cross, someone sitting behind me leaned forward and whispered in my ear, “Worship Satan!” Fucker cracked me right up. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2004, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/28 "2004-02-27T23:56:10Z")
The Internet Infidels Discussion Board has a whole nicely-long thread devoted to things (not) to do while wathing _The Passion of the Christ_. Here it is, for your enjoyment: [http://www.iidb.org/vbb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=77465](http://www.iidb.org/vbb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=77465) ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2004, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/29 "2004-02-27T23:56:17Z")
When Jesus is dragging the cross, don’t sing The Lumberjack Song. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2004, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/30 "2004-02-28T02:32:29Z")
Incidentally, did anyone catch the HUGE continuity error in the beginning of the film? The one Jewish soldier gets his ear cut off when Peter tries to prevent them from arresting Christ, and you can see that there’s just a bloody stub left. Then, a few moments later, you can see the guard’s head, and his ear is perfectly fine! I was shocked at such a glaring error in a movie with this sort of budget. Wasn’t anyone paying attention?! ---
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2004, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/31 "2004-02-28T03:53:02Z")
Mel’s not big on continuity. Anyone remember the “running into battle” scene in _Braveheart_? Now he’s carrying a sword! Now an axe! Now nothing! Axe! Nothing! Sword! Nothing! Sword! Nothing! Axe! ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2004, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/32 "2004-02-28T05:05:34Z")
I’ll bet it would be in really bad taste to yell, just as Jesus is breathing his last, “FREEE-DOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!” ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2004, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/33 "2004-02-28T05:26:46Z")
> [@capacitor](#): > > When Jesus is dragging the cross, don’t sing The Lumberjack Song. Hehehe…I never wanted to be a messiah. I always wanted to be… ---
**Author:** ![Qwertyasdfg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ecc23a/32.png) [@Qwertyasdfg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qwertyasdfg)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2004, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/34 "2004-02-28T05:55:45Z")
Laugh. I actually did that when the children kicked Judas’s ass. Sing “Rain Drops Keep Fallin’ On My Head” when they show the raindrop camera shot near the end. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2004, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/35 "2004-02-28T07:04:06Z")
What not to do? Eat. ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2004, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/36 "2004-02-28T09:21:46Z")
Cheer for the Romans ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2004, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/37 "2004-02-28T14:05:29Z")
Say “Hey Jesus! If English is good enough for the Texas school children, it’s good enough for you.” Inspired by my thread on Carl Anderson’s death, I so want to find a young black guy who is willing to wear a long fringed white jumpsuit and jump up and sing “Superstar” over the closing credits. ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2004, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/38 "2004-02-28T17:34:54Z")
Read all the subtitles out loud, using different goofy accents. A thick Irish brogue, Danish like Meryl Streep used in “Out of Africa,” Pepe LePeu-style French, etc. When you run out of accents, read some while impersonating famous people – Ed Sullivan, John Wayne, Carol Channing. When all else fails, just use a silly voice – real high, real low, whatever. If you can , sneak in a balloon and do a few lines with helium-voice. Practice your Pig Latin and read afew lines in that, maybe. ---
**Author:** ![the\_O-man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9f8e36/32.png) [@the\_O-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_O-man)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2004, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/39 "2004-02-28T17:40:41Z")
Make out in the back row with your date during the Crucifixion scene (a la Jerry in _Seinfeld_ when he saw **Schindler’s List.** ) ---
**Author:** ![Avalonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@Avalonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avalonian)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2004, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/40 "2004-02-28T18:42:15Z")
Don’t bring your kids, and if you do bring then anyway, don’t sit there with them as they’re bawling their eyes out, clearly deeply traumatized, through the entire last half of the film. Seriously. :mad: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501.md?page=3)