# What NOT to do while watching "Passion" **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 27, 2004, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501 "2004-02-27T18:40:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/101 "2004-03-03T04:46:02Z")
Go up to the concession counter and say: “I’d like a large popcorn, a box of red vines, some Body of Christ, and a large Diet Dr. Pepper, please.” ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/102 "2004-03-03T05:15:08Z")
When the hammer comes down, yell “Ow! I broke a nail!” ---
**Author:** ![Legolamb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4491bb/32.png) [@Legolamb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legolamb)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/103 "2004-03-03T05:37:05Z")
Though it may be somewhat in the spirit of the movie, do NOT say [“Ayleyn enuun Oorqey?”](http://film.guardian.co.uk/features/featurepages/0,4120,1159068,00.html) . ---
**Author:** ![klockwerk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/klockwerk/32/6475_2.png) [@klockwerk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/klockwerk)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/104 "2004-03-03T06:30:34Z")
Do NOT bring a kazoo to play along with the interesting instruments of the period and place. ---
**Author:** ![Astra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f14d63/32.png) [@Astra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astra)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/105 "2004-03-03T06:52:38Z")
Don’t plan to dress as a penis and vagina to attend the movie. See Fark comments [here.](http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=856382) ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/106 "2004-03-03T07:22:55Z")
[Peterman voice] I can’t take my eyes off the passion! [/Peterman voice] ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/107 "2004-03-03T11:54:59Z")
Oh yeah. Don’t loudly refer to the first two rows as the “splash zone.” (I really did that one and ended up getting some very odd looks from other people in the theater) ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/108 "2004-03-03T23:35:33Z")
When they’re taking Christ off the cross don’t say, “There’s a dead messiah on the landing!” ---
**Author:** ![I\_Know\_Nothing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f04885/32.png) [@I\_Know\_Nothing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Know_Nothing)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/109 "2004-03-03T23:43:04Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Incidentally, did anyone catch the HUGE continuity error in the beginning of the film? The one Jewish soldier gets his ear cut off when Peter tries to prevent them from arresting Christ, and you can see that there’s just a bloody stub left. Then, a few moments later, you can see the guard’s head, and his ear is perfectly fine! I was shocked at such a glaring error in a movie with this sort of budget. Wasn’t anyone paying attention?! According to one of the Gospels, I think Luke, Jesus healed to man who had his ear cut off by Peter. Maybe Jesus did it on the sly when the camara was on someone else. ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/110 "2004-03-03T23:55:12Z")
When they show Jesus, arms spread out on the cross, do not break into this song: _I believe I can flyyyyy…I believe I can touch the skyyyyyy…_ ---
**Author:** ![sooperpooper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@sooperpooper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sooperpooper)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2004, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/111 "2004-03-04T01:27:03Z")
Don’t go into the, “dead man walking,” routine from The Green Mile. ---
**Author:** ![DevilDan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e495f1/32.png) [@DevilDan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DevilDan)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2004, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/112 "2004-03-04T04:27:04Z")
When leaving the theater, don’t complain about how the studio felt compelled to give the movie a happy ending to sell more tickets. Probably shouldn´t have posted on this topic, given my nick. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2004, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/113 "2004-03-04T14:04:03Z")
Don’t yell out “I hear he dies in the end” during the opening credits. Don’t yell out “Floggin’s too good for 'im. Scourgin’s too good for 'im. Crucifyin’s too good for 'im” as the movie progresses. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2004, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/114 "2004-03-04T22:58:37Z")
Start singing Depeche Mode’s “Personal Jesus” at the top of your lungs. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/115 "2004-03-09T02:02:42Z")
> [@spoke-](#): > > When they show Jesus, arms spread out on the cross, do not break into this song: _I believe I can flyyyyy…I believe I can touch the skyyyyyy…_ alternatively, do not say “I once caught a fish THIIIIIIIIS big!” when the disciples are entering Jesus’s Tomb, (i haven’t seen the movie so i’m guessing here) and call out Jesus’s name, do not answer in a deep, guttural voice “There is no Jesus, only ZUUL” When Jesus arises from the grave, do not remark in a Proffesor Farnsworth-esque voice “Holy Zombie Jesus!” hey, _any_ film can be improved thru strategic MSTing 😉 ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/116 "2004-03-09T02:07:46Z")
When Jesus is being beaten and abused do not yell out _any_ of the following; “I’ve 'ad worse” “Tis but a scratch” “Have at you!” “It’s just a flesh wound” “Right, i’ll do you for that!” “I’m Invincible!” and _Especially_ do not say the following after the cross has been raised; “Oh i see, runnin’ away eh?, you yellow Bastards, come back here and take what’s coming to you, i’ll bite your legs off!” \ oh, nothing, nothing… ---
**Author:** ![Nanook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nanook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nanook)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/117 "2004-03-09T02:13:50Z")
Yell, " Make it stop, Mommy, MAKE IT STOP!!!) ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/118 "2004-03-09T05:29:06Z")
When the Virgin Mary is having her last words with Jesus on the cross, do not shout, “Mom, could you go get a stepladder and some pliers? Is that asking too much, Mom?” ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/119 "2004-03-09T13:51:19Z")
> [@I\_Know\_Nothing](#): > > According to one of the Gospels, I think Luke, Jesus healed to man who had his ear cut off by Peter. Maybe Jesus did it on the sly when the camara was on someone else. WHOOOOSH! ---
**Author:** ![Gotterfunken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/58956e/32.png) [@Gotterfunken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gotterfunken)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501/120 "2004-03-09T18:29:22Z")
During the flashback sequence where we see Jesus as a carpenter, don’t say “Hey, Jesus designs IKEA tables!” Which is really what I thought when I saw that scene. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-do-while-watching-passion/231501.md?page=7)