# What NOT to include on a résumé **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 28, 2014, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-include-on-a-resume/679942 "2014-01-28T12:43:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2014, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-include-on-a-resume/679942/21 "2014-01-28T22:45:55Z")
> [@Lukeinva](#): > > This actually happened, I was interviewing for a job (which I did get) the hiring manager said he received several resumes that contained the job description cut & pasted word for word in the applicant’s skill set. > > Sooo… don’t cut & paste the job description! That’s awesome. “It says here that he can occasionally lift, carry, push or pull objects up to 25 pounds and has ordinary speaking and hearing capabilities.” “It does? My God, he’s perfect!” ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2014, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-include-on-a-resume/679942/22 "2014-01-28T23:39:59Z")
A signed certificate from my local STD clinic, saying it’s finally ok for me to have sex again. ---
**Author:** ![cornopean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@cornopean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornopean)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2014, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-include-on-a-resume/679942/23 "2014-01-28T23:50:52Z")
Funniest thread I’ve ever read on Straight Dope. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-include-on-a-resume/679942/24 "2014-01-29T01:18:05Z")
-Pictures of the employers house, his parents house, his kids elementary school… ---
**Author:** ![GreedySmurf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a698b9/32.png) [@GreedySmurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreedySmurf)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-include-on-a-resume/679942/25 "2014-01-29T01:19:15Z")
(If I can drop in on a thread I apparently inspired 😃 ) I have two, which were on real resumes. My wife was vetting resumes for a job at her office recently, and she came across one that listed amongst computer/technical skills (you know where you’d usually put things like - Advanced Word, Basic Excel, etc, etc) “\*\* - Proficient with Facebook\*\*”. One I saw myself for an intern position where I was doing 1st interviews. The young fellow had written the whole resume in third person. It was literally full of statements like “Joey\* has this skill, Joey strives for blah blah. Joey has demonstrated blah” (As an interesting aside, these resumes had been pre-screened so we had to interview him, but he turned up 15 mins late for the interview no mention of it, no apology, that was an easy initial cut) - Name changed to protect the guilty ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-include-on-a-resume/679942/26 "2014-01-29T02:14:51Z")
I once saw a resume submitted to my boss and the contact e-mail address was something like “[2sexy4U@hotmail.com](mailto:2sexy4U@hotmail.com)”. They didn’t get the job, but the resume was passed around and laughed at. StG ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-include-on-a-resume/679942/27 "2014-01-29T02:52:26Z")
Under the part where it says “explain any gaps in employment”, it would probably be better to just say “toured South America” instead of “held without bail in Columbia”. ---
**Author:** ![Brad\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8dc957/32.png) [@Brad\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brad_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-include-on-a-resume/679942/28 "2014-01-29T03:04:21Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > That’s awesome. > > “It says here that he can occasionally lift, carry, push or pull objects up to 25 pounds and has ordinary speaking and hearing capabilities.” > > “It does? My God, he’s perfect!” > [@Lukeinva](#): > > This actually happened, I was interviewing for a job (which I did get) the hiring manager said he received several resumes that contained the job description cut & pasted word for word in the applicant’s skill set. > > Sooo… don’t cut & paste the job description! Problem is, at my last job, that’s exactly what you had to do to have the resume software not reject your resume. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-include-on-a-resume/679942/29 "2014-01-29T03:10:00Z")
The number of times you’ve invoked Rule 34. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-include-on-a-resume/679942/30 "2014-01-29T03:35:06Z")
> [@Lukeinva](#): > > This actually happened, I was interviewing for a job (which I did get) the hiring manager said he received several resumes that contained the job description cut & pasted word for word in the applicant’s skill set. How did you get an interview, if you didn’t do that? > [@Brad\_the\_Impaler](#): > > Problem is, at my last job, that’s exactly what you had to do to have the resume software not reject your resume. As annoying as that is, at least the software doesn’t set interviews with people who do not have the basic requirements, like a degree and experience, unlike some internal recruiter whose name I will not mention. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-include-on-a-resume/679942/31 "2014-01-29T03:50:35Z")
> [@GreedySmurf](#): > > One I saw myself for an intern position where I was doing 1st interviews. The young fellow had written the whole resume in third person. It was literally full of statements like “Joey\* has this skill, Joey strives for blah blah. Joey has demonstrated blah” (As an interesting aside, these resumes had been pre-screened so we had to interview him, but he turned up 15 mins late for the interview no mention of it, no apology, that was an easy initial cut) I bet his mom wrote it for him. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-include-on-a-resume/679942/32 "2014-01-29T03:59:32Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > -Your favorite brand of potato chip. Especially if it’s _[Death to the Jews!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=16845248&postcount=5)_ brand ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-include-on-a-resume/679942/33 "2014-01-29T04:05:05Z")
The last half of a potato and ham casserole recipe. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-include-on-a-resume/679942/34 "2014-01-29T04:05:25Z")
“If this job involves any illegal stuff, that’s never been a problem for me.” “I am working with a doctor on my flatulence problem and expect to have it reduced to a manageable level in the foreseeable future.” “Just as a head’s up, I am not willing to have any contact with people of other races.” “I am currently in a mental dialogue with an extradimensional deity and am developing a new religion. So I may require some holy days off in the future.” “If my mother calls you and tells you anything about me, don’t believe her.” ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-include-on-a-resume/679942/35 "2014-01-29T04:13:45Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > -Length and girth (or cup size, for ladies). Depends on the position you’re applying for. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-include-on-a-resume/679942/36 "2014-01-29T04:25:32Z")
Years ago I was going through a stack of resumes of recent graduates and noticed one that had a very distinctive layout that was suprisingly similar to another resume I’d been reading earlier. I dug out the earlier one from the stack and sure enough there were a lot of similarities in times and places of educational background, travel, hobbies and so on between the resumes, one from a male and one a female. I figured they were a couple. The best bit? The male’s resume was edged in blue, and the female’s was edged in pink. “Awww, how cute!” I thought as I threw them on the “rejected” pile. ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-include-on-a-resume/679942/37 "2014-01-29T14:16:56Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > Years ago I was going through a stack of resumes of recent graduates and noticed one that had a very distinctive layout that was suprisingly similar to another resume I’d been reading earlier. I dug out the earlier one from the stack and sure enough there were a lot of similarities in times and places of educational background, travel, hobbies and so on between the resumes, one from a male and one a female. I figured they were a couple. The best bit? > > The male’s resume was edged in blue, and the female’s was edged in pink. > > “Awww, how cute!” I thought as I threw them on the “rejected” pile. Do you think you ruined someone’s research study on gender discrimination? ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-include-on-a-resume/679942/38 "2014-01-29T16:05:42Z")
Amount of time off for good behavior. Seriously though, I’ve helped some Thais with their resumes for applications to graduate school in the US – graduate school, mind you – and they always want to include their “famous” high school, which of course no one in the US has ever heard of. Just give your undergrad uni. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-include-on-a-resume/679942/39 "2014-01-29T16:20:26Z")
> [@bump](#): > > Depends on the position you’re applying for. 😃 Like, missionary? ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-include-on-a-resume/679942/40 "2014-01-29T16:22:39Z")
> [@GreedySmurf](#): > > My wife was vetting resumes for a job at her office recently, and she came across one that listed amongst computer/technical skills (you know where you’d usually put things like - Advanced Word, Basic Excel, etc, etc) “\*\* - Proficient with Facebook\*\*”. I’ve seen that as an actual job requirement. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-include-on-a-resume/679942.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-include-on-a-resume/679942.md?page=3)