# What NOT to say to a person reading a book **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 25, 2006, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025 "2006-02-25T03:12:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_chao_goes_mu/32/3191_2.png) [@The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Chao_Goes_Mu)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2006, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/61 "2006-02-27T18:05:29Z")
> [@Jamaika a jamaikaiaké](#): > > Various movies were ruined for me when the opening credits said: > > “based on a short story by Phillip K. Dick” > (If you don’t know what I mean, then I won’t spoil this for you) How about putting it in a spoiler box? You’ve piqued my curiousity. ---
**Author:** ![Zakalwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zakalwe/32/270_2.png) [@Zakalwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zakalwe)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2006, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/62 "2006-02-27T18:16:45Z")
> [@brightpenny](#): > > Holy moly! :eek: > > Now I’m just plain terrified to ever be friendly and pleasant to someone reading in public. I just might get shot. > > As one who loves books (and even reads them in public), I enjoy talking with others who enjoy books. Because I’m shy, I sometimes use books as a way of being busy in otherwise awkward public situations. If someone asks me about my book, I’m pleased to have a chance to talk about it. It’s a nice ice-breaker, and I have a chance to turn someone on to a good book. > > I can read at home. I can’t meet interesting people at home. ('cept at the Dope) Whew. Thanks, **brightpenny**! I thought I was about the only one here thinking this (although I’m not shy). Jeez, people, think about the larger picture. If you love books, share the love! Economically speaking, you’re helping to ensure a viable market which will further ensure that there are books for _you_ to read. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2006, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/63 "2006-02-27T18:20:06Z")
But I don’t genuinely know if you’re using the book to be busy or reading it in-depth. And I read the books in-depth, and don’t want to be disturbed, so I treat other people the same way. If you’re reading a book, no way am I going to come up to you and interrupt you unless I am completely lost, say, and you are the only person within miles to ask. And even then I will feel bad. ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2006, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/64 "2006-02-27T18:35:03Z")
> [@Zakalwe](#): > > Whew. Thanks, **brightpenny**! I thought I was about the only one here thinking this (although I’m not shy). Jeez, people, think about the larger picture. If you love books, share the love! Economically speaking, you’re helping to ensure a viable market which will further ensure that there are books for _you_ to read. NO. NO NO NO. Bad! When I read, I concentrate very hard and tend to lose myself for a bit. This is specifically WHY I read and enjoy it. It is not labor. Labor is being unceremoniously ripped from my daydream by someone who may or may not be a great conversationalist, which is not the point. I’m busy. I might be busy in a way you don’t understand, but it’s still busy, and while not illegal, it makes you a selfish bore to interrupt someone who is clearly not engaged in any activity which lends itself to sociability, in fact discourages it by its very nature. To treat every thing you might have in common with a stranger as an opening to be gregarious beyond just, “Hey, good book.” and waiting to see whether or not they respond in kind, is just…unacceptable. Not that I don’t think you’d be a hoot to talk to, I’m just busy doing something else right now. ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2006, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/65 "2006-02-27T18:38:26Z")
> [@Zakalwe](#): > > Jeez, people, think about the larger picture. If you love books, share the love! Economically speaking, you’re helping to ensure a viable market which will further ensure that there are books for _you_ to read. Also, I’m wondering where you get the idea that talking about a book is the only way to ensure a viable market. I guarantee that my taste in books is bent on my taste. If you need input beyond your own idea of what’s good in order to choose your artist, why not observe just how engrossed someone is in their book in order to determine how good it is? Wouldn’t that be more accurate a cue than preventing their enjoyment? ---
**Author:** ![5que](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/3bc359/32.png) [@5que](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5que)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2006, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/66 "2006-02-27T21:05:49Z")
> [@brightpenny](#): > > I can read at home. I can’t meet interesting people at home. ('cept at the Dope) So, how _you_ doin’? ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2006, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/67 "2006-02-27T21:09:29Z")
IMHO, it is rude to talk to someone who is clearly engrossed in a book. Unless the words coming out of your mouth are “Help me, I’m on fire” if you start talking to me when I’m reading then all you’re going to get at best is a monosyllabic reply. Most times you won’t even get that, because if I’m reading I usually have my MP3 player going as well, and can’t/don’t want to hear you. If someone puts down their book and looks around, then sure, step up and ask questions if you’re curious about what they’re reading or want to be ‘pleasant and polite’ or whatever. But the way I see it is this - would you walk up to a perfect stranger mid-conversation and start going “Hey, what’re you talking about? Cars? I never talk about cars. But what type of cars are you talking about? My friend has a car that only goes 5 miles an hour, but it was a bargain because it only cost him $20”. Of course not, that’s terribly rude. So don’t do the same thing to someone who’s busy with their book. ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2006, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/68 "2006-02-27T21:34:26Z")
> [@MsMitey](#): > > Oh, and don’t tell me my book is thicker than all the books you ever read combined. Not everybody finds anti-intellectualism attractive. Trying to hit on me by telling me you don’t like to read maybe isn’t the best plan of attack! “You know, in some cultures, they only eat vomit. I read about it - _in a book_.” [/Dodgeball] I must be lucky. I hear stories like this, or about perfect strangers daring to comment on people’s parenting choices or whatnot, yet I’ve hardly ever had such an experience personally. I think I must give off bitchy vibes that keep the morons away. That’s a good thing. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2006, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/69 "2006-02-27T22:40:52Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > (this place really is Nitpick Central, you know. You might as well change the slogan to “Picking Nits Since 1970. We’ll Take As Long As We Have To.” Anyway.) Actually, it was 1973 :D. I dislike being asked what the book I’m reading is about from strangers, but even more so when I’m obviously just starting the book. See the massive amount of pages over on the right hand side? I haven’t gotten to those yet, so I really can’t tell you. Unless you’re a native japanese speaker, you have no excuse for not knowing which direction books go. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2006, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/70 "2006-02-27T22:45:21Z")
I’m still fuming at my father who mentioned a movie I was interested in seeing. I told him to please not tell me anything about it. “Well, so-and-so dies and then so-and-so commits suicide.” Thanks, asshole. Goddamn it, I said not to tell me anything. [The only reason he may not think he’s done anything wrong is that the story was based on a real person, and he may have thougt I already knew this person’s story. Not so, since it wasn’t the most well-known person in the world. ARGGH.] Smile! It increases your face value. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2006, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/71 "2006-02-27T23:30:18Z")
I used to be guilty of spoiling things for people, but I wised up. The most infamous example is when I convinced **available light** to read Ringworld, and I kept bugging her to see if she liked it. I said, "So, did you get to the part where Nessus gets one of his heads cut off yet?" She glared at me and said, “NO!” ---
**Author:** ![lizardling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f4b2a3/32.png) [@lizardling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lizardling)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2006, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/72 "2006-02-28T00:23:30Z")
Wow. All these people talking to people reading a book. When I really get going, a bomb could practically go off outside the locale and I wouldn’t notice except for a “Hey, who’s blocking the light…? Oh, hi Officer.” ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2006, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/73 "2006-02-28T05:52:42Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Where the hell are you reading that total strangers feel entitled to comment on your literary choices? I’m a voracious reader, and I have _never_ had someone be that incredibly nosy! Out of curiosity, are you a smoker? The reason that I ask is that this seems to happen to me more when I’m smoking and reading outdoors. (My state has several cities where smoking is banned in all restuants/bars.) Smokers seem to have an urge to turn their exile into a shared experience through copious amounts of small-talk. I treat a smoking area like an elevator-- I pick my spot, and studiously ignore others while burying my nose in a book. (Why, yes, I am stand-offish. How did you guess?) Bet they didn’t think of all the poor people who would have their book time interruped when they formulated THOSE laws. \*Won’t someone please think of the readers? \* If there are more than two people out there, I’m usually home free, but woe betide me, the other person feels compelled to start chatting, and my book is usually a good excuse. I was talking to a friend of mine and mentioned this thread. She laughed and told me that once she was reading a book about a complicated and somewhat obscure historical event. A woman sitting on the bench beside her asked what it was about. It wasn’t something you could condense down to a one-or-two sentence synopsis, and she knew if she tried, she’d end up explaining the whole event at length. “Ponies!” she chirped, with a big, stupid grin. “Ohhh,” the woman replied, and remained silent until her cigarette was gone. Some last vestiges of civility won’t let me do that, but I sure wish I could. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2006, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/74 "2006-02-28T05:57:11Z")
> [@lizardling](#): > > Wow. All these people talking to people reading a book. When I really get going, a bomb could practically go off outside the locale and I wouldn’t notice except for a “Hey, who’s blocking the light…? Oh, hi Officer.” Sorry about the double post, but this struck me. I can picture me doing the same thing. “Why, no, Officer. I didn’t see an elephant with a bomb strapped to its chest go charging into that building. I was\* reading\*.” ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2006, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/75 "2006-02-28T08:08:38Z")
> [@Zakalwe](#): > > Whew. Thanks, **brightpenny**! I thought I was about the only one here thinking this (although I’m not shy). Jeez, people, think about the larger picture. If you love books, share the love! Economically speaking, you’re helping to ensure a viable market which will further ensure that there are books for _you_ to read. People who are reading out in public are generally reading on their lunch hour, or maybe a short break. They probably have limited time in which to have a few moments of enjoyment. This enjoyment is cut short if someone comes up and starts playing 20 questions. They are being entertained and generally WANT to read what they’re reading. You wouldn’t wander into a movie theatre, or a play, or into a private conversation between two strangers, and start asking the people there “Hey, is this play good?” or “ooooh I saw this part, it’s where Darth Vader says…”. " hey you two, where’s the party"??? And then continue interrupting them while they attempt to watch whatever it is, or continue their conversation now would you? It isn’t that the folks reading want to bite your head off, it’s just extremely idiotic when folks can’t seem to take a hint. If you ask someone what they’re reading and they give short answers and keep trying to return to the book, they are trying to be polite, but they would PREFER to read the book. And if their time is limited, as on a break or lunch, you’re likely preventing them from finding out “whodunit” or at least who the whodunit prime suspect is before their lunch hour is up. Most of us LIKE reading, and are doing it on purpose. We didn’t station ourselves there on purpose with the book as some sort of “I’m lonely, rescue me” prop. Also, as others have mentioned, I have had people argue about my selection of reading material. I’m pretty blunt though “sorry, I only have 20 minutes left on my lunch hour, I’ll be going back to my book now, this is a really good part”. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2006, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/76 "2006-02-28T08:19:59Z")
> [@Zakalwe](#): > > \If you love books, share the love! Economically speaking, you’re helping to ensure a viable market which will further ensure that there are books for _you_ to read. We don’t have to worry about that, since Oprah turned her attention to pushing books. {Insert absolute deadpan smiley here.} **Walrus** , I was working from memory, since scrolling to the top of the screen is haa-aard. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2006, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/77 "2006-02-28T12:40:35Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Where the hell are you reading that total strangers feel entitled to comment on your literary choices? I’m a voracious reader, and I have _never_ had someone be that incredibly nosy! Not total strangers, but at one place I worked, I read on my lunch break. We had a large lunch room and I’d always find a corner table to sit and eat while I read. I hated when a co-worker would sit down next to me and start the same conversation **Aangelica** referenced or something very similar. “Whatcha reading? What’s it about? I don’t read, it’s boring. In fact I haven’t read a book since high school.” And on and on, never catching on to the idea that I might want to be alone to, you know, **read**! ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2006, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/78 "2006-02-28T12:45:39Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > Most of us LIKE reading, and are doing it on purpose. Somehow I missed this post. Yes, I’m reading ‘on purpose’! Go away. Leave me alone. And keep yer trap shut about what happens next in the book. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2006, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/79 "2006-02-28T13:13:54Z")
I hate the book spoiler, but even more than that, I hate when my friend and I are watching a movie I’ve already seen and she says, “Tell me what’s happening next. Does he die? Does she get the guy? Is someone going to be murdered? How does it end?” What the fuck! ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2006, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/80 "2006-02-28T13:30:11Z")
> [@Lissa](#): > > Out of curiosity, are you a smoker? No, I’m not. Maybe that’s it. My father hates eating alone in a restaurant, so much so that he will pay for someone else’s dinner so he has someone to talk to. Me, I bring along my book, and the only trouble I have is fitting my tome in and amongst my plates and glasses. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025.md?page=5)