# What NOT to say to a person reading a book **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 25, 2006, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025 "2006-02-25T03:12:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2006, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/81 "2006-02-28T14:11:29Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > We don’t have to worry about that, since Oprah turned her attention to pushing books. {Insert absolute deadpan smiley here.} Oh, my. 😃 Yeah, that’s been real helpful to our cause. Oh, and count me in as another who would never notice the elephant with the bomb. And this: > [@Kalhoun](#): > > I hate the book spoiler, but even more than that, I hate when my friend and I are watching a movie I’ve already seen and she says, “Tell me what’s happening next. Does he die? Does she get the guy? Is someone going to be murdered? How does it end?” What the fuck! I watch a fair amount of movies that my SO doesn’t. Mainly Bollywood, but some drama and some more serious flicks. And he does this all the time! But he won’t watch them…just query me to death. I’m like “Sit down, shut the hell up and watch the movie if you want to know what’s going on. I haven’t seen it either, how can I tell you what’s going to happen? Or leave!” ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2006, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/82 "2006-02-28T14:18:54Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > … I hate when my friend and I are watching a movie I’ve already seen and she says, “Tell me what’s happening next. Does he die? Does she get the guy? Is someone going to be murdered? How does it end?” What the fuck! So, just how long have you been watching movies with my husband? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2006, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/83 "2006-02-28T14:25:45Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Worst of all, my SO talks to me when I’m reading, about inconsequential things. GAH! More than once I’ve wanted to spring from my chair and bash him in the head with the book, and have threatened it, too. Of course I’m more tolerant of him doing it, but it still annoys me. Ack! The Bus Wife does this too. I can zone out on the couch not being distracted by the Donald, or Ice Dancing with the Wife Swappers, and she’ll start talking to me about the frigging show, knowing full well that I am not only not paying attention, but couldn’t care less. Geez woman, the Wizards are all floating away in a giant gourd shaped like a boat, and there’s a squall headed towards them and you bug me with Jerry Rice and some Russian chick doing the Tango? Go clean the cat’s box or something, would ya? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2006, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/84 "2006-02-28T14:47:31Z")
I don’t know if the **Bus Wife** does this, but at least my SO then \*laughs \* at my discomfiture. I swear, one of these days the police are going to be called in for a domsetic disturbance, when I beat him to death with my book.\* \*Ok, I’m not really going to. But sometimes… ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2006, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/85 "2006-02-28T14:50:20Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > So, just how long have you been watching movies with my husband? > 😉 I know! It’s an epidemic. So is the “talking-to-me-about-inconsequential-things” thing. I’m glued to a book and he starts a 20 minute dissertation on how he increased the reps on his leg raises or something. What the FUCK! ---
**Author:** ![Aangelica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Aangelica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aangelica)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2006, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/86 "2006-02-28T14:58:06Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Where the hell are you reading that total strangers feel entitled to comment on your literary choices? I’m a voracious reader, and I have never had someone be that incredibly nosy! I mostly read on the train, actually. But I have the most trouble with my third category of Infernity-bound buttinskis at the airport/on planes. Now, just to clarify, there’s a clear difference between someone who loves reading themselves and wishes information about your literary choices and someone who is bored and therefore pestering me while I read apparently out of an inborn inability to entertain themselves. The former category doesn’t bother me much. For starters, they tend to be polite about the interruption and keep it to the minimum possible. I, myself, have on rare occasion interrupted someone’s reading (very, very politely and with a fair amount of apology) to inquire about their book - generally if it’s a book by an author I like but hadn’t heard of the title. The second category doesn’t seem to realize it actually _is_ an interruption. It’s like people can’t seem to plan ahead to keep themselves entertained during their voyage and so they feel morally obligated to make sure I can’t entertain myself either. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2006, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/87 "2006-02-28T15:27:45Z")
I go to lunch by myself quite often, just so I can read. Every once in a while, a group of co-workers end up at the same restaurant, and invite me to join them. ARRGGHH! They think I’m lonely or something. It’s my private, quiet, de-stress time, dammit. I admit though, sometimes I join them so they won’t think I’m a stuck-up bitch. I am weak… ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2006, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/88 "2006-02-28T16:18:54Z")
> [@Jamaika a jamaikaiaké](#): > > Various movies were ruined for me when the opening credits said: > > “based on a short story by Phillip K. Dick” > (If you don’t know what I mean, then I won’t spoil this for you) Is there a particular reason? I’ve only seen two PKD film adaptations (knowing at the outset that they were based on one of his stories) – Blade Runner and Total Recall – and other than the usual Hollywood creative licenses that were taken (and literary licenses in the case of Piers Anthony’s adaptation based on the story based on the movie based on the story in the latter case) I don’t quite catch the reference. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2006, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/89 "2006-02-28T16:39:57Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I swear, one of these days the police are going to be called in for a domsetic disturbance, when I beat him to death with my book. [cletus]Nothing cracks a skull like Leon Uris.[/cletus] ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2006, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/90 "2006-02-28T16:40:21Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > I hate the book spoiler, but even more than that, I hate when my friend and I are watching a movie I’ve already seen and she says, “Tell me what’s happening next. Does he die? Does she get the guy? Is someone going to be murdered? How does it end?” What the fuck! To those people I just say, “Watch and see.” The ones I hate are when we’re watching a show or movie neither of us have seen and _they ask the same damn questions!_ Did I get here before you or something? Are you on a thirty second time delay? Is my clairvoyance showing again? Amazingly I’ve never been approached by strangers asking about the books I read. And I’m a smoker, too. I do get pretty into the books to the exclusion of almost all else though, so maybe I have that “You do not exist to me right now” look on my face. I _have_ had co-workers bug me whilst reading though. Familiarity seems to breed the need to interrupt anything considered antisocial. Of course very few people I’ve worked with are readers of any significance, so obviously they just don’t understand. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2006, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/91 "2006-02-28T16:46:58Z")
I have noticed that the older I get, the less I am bothered by “well-meaning” interlopers who can’t bear to see a young woman reading in a public place. It is the weirdest thing–I used to get comments like those posted above, but now that I am middle aged, not so much. I DO get (to the point where I no longer bring fiction to work) bothered by the aides and such at work, on my break re my choice of how to use my break time. Now I bring nursing journals and everyone leaves me alone. Since my reading is more akin to a compulsion at work, rather than a recreation, and the journals need to be read anyhow, it works. I reserve fiction for travel and home now. And the librarian **Sampiro** mentioned upthread is too much! It’s not THAT personal–maybe she only reads porn! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2006, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/92 "2006-02-28T16:48:05Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I watch a fair amount of movies that my SO doesn’t. Mainly Bollywood, but some drama and some more serious flicks. And he does this all the time! But he won’t watch them…just query me to death. He queries you about the plot developments in Bollywood movies? Just hand him the standard Bollywood Plot Points list: 1. The guy will lose the girl. 2. Then he’ll get the girl back. 3. This may break the heart of another nice girl. Tough. 4. The grandmother (or beloved old nanny) will die. 5. No, the characters aren’t really in Switzerland now. It’s just a song-and-dance number. 6. The evil boss and/or romantic rival will get beat up, but not till very near the end. 7. The hero’s father will forgive him. 8. The hero and his wife will be reconciled. 9. The hero’s mother will finally put her foot down and solve the problem. 10. No, the hero and heroine are not actually going to kiss. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2006, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/93 "2006-02-28T17:16:56Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > 1. No, the hero and heroine are not actually going to kiss. Been watching newer movies, and this is changing! Still no tongue, though. Only church kiss. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_chao_goes_mu/32/3191_2.png) [@The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Chao_Goes_Mu)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2006, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/94 "2006-02-28T17:56:40Z")
Meh, the only time I get annoyed by the “Book Interrupters” is when they feel the need to spoil it or they feel the need to tell me how much they hate the author or genre of my current book without even an intelligent critique as to why. But other than that, I think it’s nice to connect with someone and have a meaty conversation about books or movies and the like. ---
**Author:** ![Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamaika_a_jamaikaiake)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2006, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/95 "2006-02-28T19:27:40Z")
> [@Mindfield](#): > > Is there a particular reason? I’ve only seen two PKD film adaptations (knowing at the outset that they were based on one of his stories) – Blade Runner and Total Recall – and other than the usual Hollywood creative licenses that were taken (and literary licenses in the case of Piers Anthony’s adaptation based on the story based on the movie based on the story in the latter case) I don’t quite catch the reference. Well, I had read a bunch of PKD short stories before seeing Minority Report. I was able to guess the ending to a certain degree. All of his stories end in a kind of reality-is-not-what-you-think kind of way. I’m not sure I can put my finger on it, but no plot twist would’ve been able to surprise me, because I went into the movie anticipating that some one of the main character’s fundamental assumptions about reality was going to be challenged. I must say that I prefer to go into movies/books without any proir impressions, especially not expecting that it will be full of plot twists, because then you spend the whole book/movie trying to guess the plot twist instead of paying attention. I mean I liked Blade Runner, but… I guess I would’ve said the same about O. Henry, Saki, or M. Night Shyamalan. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2006, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/96 "2006-02-28T22:41:05Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > \I watch a fair amount of movies that my SO doesn’t. Mainly Bollywood, but some drama and some more serious flicks. And he does this all the time! But he won’t watch them…just query me to death. I’m like “Sit down, shut the hell up and watch the movie if you want to know what’s going on. I haven’t seen it either, how can I tell you what’s going to happen? Or leave!” My husband does something similar with the stuff we’ve taped. So we cue up the tape, get ready to watch, and _then_ he decides to tell me all about his day. Okay, pause tape. Oh, I’m done talking now. Okay, turn tape back on. Oh, thought of another thing to tell you. I love that we talk all the time. I love that he is very well-educated and well-informed, and likes to tell me all about stuff. I am also fond of actually _watching_ the shows we’ve gone to the bother of taping. (Yeah, I know, this is a minor gripe. At least I _can_ pause the tape.) Speaking of books, maybe my husband has the right idea - he does all his reading in the bathroom. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![sinjin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@sinjin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sinjin)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2006, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/97 "2006-03-01T00:16:03Z")
> [@Mama Tiger](#): > > Mom? Is that you? No, it’s me 🆒 . ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2006, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/98 "2006-03-01T01:01:57Z")
I think you guys need some comedy book covers. “How to avoid psychotic relapses.” “Returning to normal after incarseration” “Beating a murder rap” “F\*ck off and die, nosey bastard” “How to get rid of the corpses; Introduction to pig farming” ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2006, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/99 "2006-03-01T02:15:38Z")
> [@Dolores Reborn](#): > > It’s my private, quiet, de-stress time, dammit. I admit though, sometimes I join them so they won’t think I’m a stuck-up bitch. At a (thankfully) former job, I read on my breaks for the same reason, and to get away from the incessant shrill gossip and cackling that I was exposed to the rest of the day in our communal work area. So naturally I WAS a stuck-up bitch. The lead harpy even brought it up when we had to have a meeting with the boss, her, and me regarding her campaign of insults and harassment toward me during work hours. “She doesn’t even have lunch with us, just sits off by herself with her nose in a BOOK!” Um, yeah, you hate me, so why would I want to have lunch with you and vice versa? And here’s a thought: It’s my BREAK TIME. I can do (within the usual limits) whatever the hell I want. And that would be sitting as far away from you as possible. :rolleyes: Also obviously something wrong with me if I want to READ in my free time. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2006, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025/100 "2006-03-01T04:13:46Z")
> [@Scarlett67](#): > > At a (thankfully) former job, I read on my breaks for the same reason, and to get away from the incessant shrill gossip and cackling that I was exposed to the rest of the day in our communal work area. > > So naturally I WAS a stuck-up bitch. > > The lead harpy even brought it up when we had to have a meeting with the boss, her, and me regarding her campaign of insults and harassment toward me during work hours. “She doesn’t even have lunch with us, just sits off by herself with her nose in a BOOK!” Um, yeah, you hate me, so why would I want to have lunch with you and vice versa? And here’s a thought: It’s my BREAK TIME. I can do (within the usual limits) whatever the hell I want. And that would be sitting as far away from you as possible. :rolleyes: > > Also obviously something wrong with me if I want to READ in my free time. When I was a kid, I suffered near-constant harassment for trying to read on the bus. One girl actually spit in my hair because I was ignoring her insults in favor of reading. I think I understand the root of this phenomenon: Some people’s egos get bruised that there is someone within their range who blatantly prefers a book to their company. It’s worse if they’re an antibiblio-- not only are you ignoring the opprotunity to listen to them talk, but you’re doing it in favor of something extremely boring and “stupid.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-not-to-say-to-a-person-reading-a-book/346025.md?page=6)