# What on Earth did I find in my friend's shed? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [November 24, 2015, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-on-earth-did-i-find-in-my-friends-shed/738398 "2015-11-24T02:10:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2015, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-on-earth-did-i-find-in-my-friends-shed/738398/41 "2015-11-24T21:42:18Z")
I hope nobody mentions turkey any time in the next few days. Then you might have to go get some someplace. If only it was readily available this time of year :). ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2015, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-on-earth-did-i-find-in-my-friends-shed/738398/42 "2015-11-24T22:05:36Z")
Good bread easily holds up to spreading refrigerated butter. ---
**Author:** ![OldOlds](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a3d4f5/32.png) [@OldOlds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldOlds)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2015, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-on-earth-did-i-find-in-my-friends-shed/738398/43 "2015-11-25T04:04:47Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Well THIS sure is a nominee for the “title that overpromises” award. You can’t even have the common decency to find, like, a foot? I believe a foot is traditional. The box in the first picture had me thinking foot for sure. Incidentally, long-ass matches are still commonplace in my experience. ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2015, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-on-earth-did-i-find-in-my-friends-shed/738398/44 "2015-11-25T04:39:23Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > Is this like an age gap thing or something? How can one NOT know those are matches? Granted, I have the advantage of remembering using those when I was a kid, but still… Heh. I teach high school and recently I had one class doing a lab which required them to use candles. Normally I have one of those butane grill lighters in the lab for lighting candles or burners, but on this day I couldn’t find it, so I went to my back-up stash of paper matchbooks. I handed a matchbook to one kid and she looked at me in bewilderment. “How do I do this?” “Do what?” “I’ve never used a match before.” Turns out only three students in the entire class had actually lit a match before. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2015, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-on-earth-did-i-find-in-my-friends-shed/738398/45 "2015-11-25T04:56:11Z")
> [@Tangent](#): > > Heh. I teach high school and recently I had one class doing a lab which required them to use candles. Normally I have one of those butane grill lighters in the lab for lighting candles or burners, but on this day I couldn’t find it, so I went to my back-up stash of paper matchbooks. I handed a matchbook to one kid and she looked at me in bewilderment. > > “How do I do this?” > “Do what?” > “I’ve never used a match before.” > > Turns out only three students in the entire class had actually lit a match before. “We’re in the neighborhood with Channel 7 Live Team Coverage where a rash of 27 different house fires all started on exactly the same night. All set by teens who attended the local high school and claimed that their teacher told them to do it…story at 11” ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2015, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-on-earth-did-i-find-in-my-friends-shed/738398/46 "2015-11-25T05:00:27Z")
^I do worry about that after I show them how to make a rocket out of a match and a paperclip. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2015, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-on-earth-did-i-find-in-my-friends-shed/738398/47 "2015-11-25T05:26:05Z")
> [@Tangent](#): > > ^I do worry about that after I show them how to make a rocket out of a match and a paperclip. I do miss high school organic chem class and the daily flammability tests…Ok, I don’t miss high school, nor really organic chem…but mmmm fire. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2015, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-on-earth-did-i-find-in-my-friends-shed/738398/48 "2015-11-25T14:41:31Z")
> [@Tangent](#): > > … Turns out only three students in the entire class had actually lit a match before. I used a disposable lighter to launch a birthday cake last week. I know I lit a BBQ with the built-in piezoelectric ignitor as recently as 2 years ago. It’s probably been 5 or more years since I started an open fire using anything. I own various matches and know how to use them. I can’t think of when or why I last used one, but it could easily have been a decade or two ago. ---
**Author:** ![Whiskey\_Dickens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9fc348/32.png) [@Whiskey\_Dickens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whiskey_Dickens)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2015, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-on-earth-did-i-find-in-my-friends-shed/738398/49 "2015-11-25T15:37:21Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > Is this like an age gap thing or something? How can one NOT know those are matches? Granted, I have the advantage of remembering using those when I was a kid, but still… I’ve just turned 34, and I recognized them as fireplace matches. I remember one Christmas as a kid, I was lighting the fireplace with one of the above and the head of the match broke off in mid strike. Flew across the room and landed on my father who was wearing a terry cloth bathrobe. Instantly the whole robe went up in flame. Dad had it off in about a 1/2 second and stomped it out. Made extra hilarious because dad was a bit of a prude and was now completely naked in front of the entire family. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2015, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-on-earth-did-i-find-in-my-friends-shed/738398/50 "2015-11-25T15:54:46Z")
The answer to the OP is: They’re “really long matches”. With multicolored heads. Hope that clears things up! –JM ---
**Author:** ![TSBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@TSBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TSBG)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2015, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-on-earth-did-i-find-in-my-friends-shed/738398/51 "2015-11-25T18:30:02Z")
No, no, no. You toast the bread dry in the toaster oven, to get it properly crusty. Remove when done and add pats of refrigerated butter. Return to toaster oven, where residual heat melts the butter in a few seconds to a nicely spreadable condition. If you put butter on BEFORE toasting, you’ll have soggy spots. The butter stays in the fridge because of frequent high temperatures in Southern California. Or, toast bread manually with several dozen fireplace matches 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![FluffyBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@FluffyBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FluffyBob)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2015, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-on-earth-did-i-find-in-my-friends-shed/738398/52 "2015-11-25T19:05:56Z")
> [@DoggyDunnit](#): > > 23 year old guy here, who grew up in a “bubble”, unexposed to a LOT of things that’re obvious to others. > > Growing up as unexposed as I did means I probably have more questions with obvious answers coming down the tubes. :o > > Here’s a funny “sheltered kid” story for y’all–I seriously asked this very same friend, no more than four months ago, as he was making toast in his pop-up toaster: > > “How do you make toast in that thing without the butter sliding down into the mechanism?” > > Keep in mind, I had only ever used toaster **ovens** in my life until that point. He looked at me like I was from Mars. 😃 That’s awesome Doggy, makes me laugh. As ward to a couple of sometimes completely clueless twenty-something Beardlings it sounds pretty familiar. Of course they can text at 1000 words per minute and I’m lucky to make twenty. I think optimum buttered toast is achieved with a butterless first toasting to get butter side nicely browned and then a short second toasting to melt in the butter if it needs help. The pop up toaster is much faster than the toaster oven for actual toasting. Next time at your friends toss some wieners in that toaster for some real dorm room quisine. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2015, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-on-earth-did-i-find-in-my-friends-shed/738398/53 "2015-11-25T19:40:29Z")
For anyone keeping score, I had toast with peanut butter this morning. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2015, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-on-earth-did-i-find-in-my-friends-shed/738398/54 "2015-11-25T20:46:55Z")
Me too. Done in a vertical toaster. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2015, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-on-earth-did-i-find-in-my-friends-shed/738398/55 "2015-11-25T21:18:16Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Me too. Done in a vertical toaster. Ditto ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2015, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-on-earth-did-i-find-in-my-friends-shed/738398/56 "2015-11-25T21:55:36Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > I used a disposable lighter to launch a birthday cake last week. I know I lit a BBQ with the built-in piezoelectric ignitor as recently as 2 years ago. It’s probably been 5 or more years since I started an open fire using anything. > > _I own various matches and know how to use them._ I can’t think of when or why I last used one, but it could easily have been a decade or two ago. Ital added. Do you have this in your resume? Also: How to light a cigar (still photo): [http://basementrejects.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/duck-soup-1933-marx-brothers-chicolini-pinky-chico-harpo-blow-torch-cigar-lighter-review.jpg](http://basementrejects.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/duck-soup-1933-marx-brothers-chicolini-pinky-chico-harpo-blow-torch-cigar-lighter-review.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2015, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-on-earth-did-i-find-in-my-friends-shed/738398/57 "2015-11-25T22:14:53Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > Is this like an age gap thing or something? How can one NOT know those are matches? Granted, I have the advantage of remembering using those when I was a kid, but still… Kids today. Don’t have to light their own fires any more. Just flip a switch. ---
**Author:** ![szabrocki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@szabrocki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/szabrocki)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2015, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-on-earth-did-i-find-in-my-friends-shed/738398/58 "2015-11-27T22:43:33Z")
For the “Kids” out there: This was great commercial by Roy Rogers Restaurants: In a Roy Rogers restaurant some teens sit together in one booth. A few old timers sit in the next booth. Old timers chime into the teens’ conversation: “You kids don’t know the value of a dollar. When I was growing up, we were so poor the whole neighborhood had to share one pair of shoes.” “Shoes? we didn’t even have shoes. We had to wrap newspapers around our feet.” “Feet? You had feet?” I cannot find a video (please help). I almost remember where they said,“I had to walk to school, uphill, both ways.” Oh, yes. Punctuation. I did my best. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2015, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-on-earth-did-i-find-in-my-friends-shed/738398/59 "2015-11-28T20:19:54Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > Is this like an age gap thing or something? How can one NOT know those are matches? Granted, I have the advantage of remembering using those when I was a kid, but still… that was my first thought too. But then, we had a fireplace, grilled all Winter, and my father smoked, so lighting something on fire happened ten times a day at our house. > [@DoggyDunnit](#): > > 23 year old guy here, who grew up in a “bubble”, unexposed to a LOT of things that’re obvious to others. > > Growing up as unexposed as I did means I probably have more questions with obvious answers coming down the tubes. :o > > Here’s a funny “sheltered kid” story for y’all–I seriously asked this very same friend, no more than four months ago, as he was making toast in his pop-up toaster: > > “How do you make toast in that thing without the butter sliding down into the mechanism?” > > Keep in mind, I had only ever used toaster **ovens** in my life until that point. He looked at me like I was from Mars. 😃 Let me open up your world a little further: [How To Make Grilled Cheese In A Toaster | HuffPost Life](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/21/how-to-make-grilled-cheese_n_1900922.html) 😉 > [@Zsofia](#): > > Well THIS sure is a nominee for the “title that overpromises” award. You can’t even have the common decency to find, like, a foot? I believe a foot is traditional. I laughed so hard you made me snort! That’s twice today somebody did that. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2015, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-on-earth-did-i-find-in-my-friends-shed/738398/60 "2015-11-29T19:44:15Z")
I’m remembering a thread here from a few years ago. The poster knew a girl who buttered her bread before putting it into a regular toaster (not a toaster oven), and the bottom of her toaster was filled with congealed butter. She was adamant, too, that this was the right way of making buttered toast. THAT must have been an impressive sight when it eventually caught fire. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-on-earth-did-i-find-in-my-friends-shed/738398.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-on-earth-did-i-find-in-my-friends-shed/738398.md?page=4)