# What other classic novels need zombification? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 29, 2009, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-other-classic-novels-need-zombification/504707 "2009-07-29T21:37:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-other-classic-novels-need-zombification/504707/21 "2009-07-30T04:13:23Z")
The book is already perfect in every way but… Old Man and the Sea Monster or, if we’re talking strictly zombies: Old Man and the Sea of Zombies A Tale of Two Zombies - It was the best of times, it was the BRAAAAAAAAAINS! ---
**Author:** ![Telperion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telperion/32/509_2.png) [@Telperion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperion)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-other-classic-novels-need-zombification/504707/22 "2009-07-30T04:26:45Z")
> [@tr0psn4j](#): > > Old Man and the Sea of Zombies I suppose that would be the sequel to Twenty Thousand Zombies Under the Sea, right? ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-other-classic-novels-need-zombification/504707/23 "2009-07-30T04:56:34Z")
The Zombie Manifesto? Arguably, Marx’s greatest work. Equal brains for all… … to eat! ---
**Author:** ![Risha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5fc32e/32.png) [@Risha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Risha)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-other-classic-novels-need-zombification/504707/24 "2009-07-30T05:06:56Z")
_Zombie Dick_ - with Captain Ahab hunting the great zombie whale that ate his leg. _Lord of the Flies_ - Piggy rises up to slay his tormentors. ---
**Author:** ![Telperion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telperion/32/509_2.png) [@Telperion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperion)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-other-classic-novels-need-zombification/504707/25 "2009-07-30T05:13:16Z")
I’m not sure the story of _The Brothers Karamazombie_ would change all that much, but _Decomposerone_ would probably be a bit of a drag to read. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-other-classic-novels-need-zombification/504707/26 "2009-07-30T06:39:56Z")
The Bible; after the third day Jesus rises from the dead and performs the miracle of loaves and brains. _The Lord of the Rings_would works with zombie orc armies. _The Stand_ : Just when you think things can’t get any worse . . . it turns out that the Captain Trips superflu had a little after death _side effect_. Billions of zombies . . . ---
**Author:** ![Sefton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Sefton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sefton)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-other-classic-novels-need-zombification/504707/27 "2009-07-30T10:47:37Z")
_Moby Dick!_ Who wouldn’t want to see zombie Ahab take another shot at the white whale? ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-other-classic-novels-need-zombification/504707/28 "2009-07-30T10:54:07Z")
Zombies would hugely improve _Ulysses_. A few zombie bloodbaths and it would become a hell of a lot more readable. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-other-classic-novels-need-zombification/504707/29 "2009-07-30T11:14:36Z")
After the Greek army destroys Troy, the gods take pity on the slain…and bring them back. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-other-classic-novels-need-zombification/504707/30 "2009-07-30T12:46:47Z")
> [@Der Trihs](#): > > The Stand : Just when you think things can’t get any worse . . . it turns out that the Captain Trips superflu had a little after death side effect. Billions of zombies . . . Stephen King already _wrote_ that book. He called it _Cell_. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-other-classic-novels-need-zombification/504707/31 "2009-07-30T14:36:07Z")
**On the Road** would lend itself pretty well to a zombie apocalypse scenario. Sal Paradise and Dean Moriarty, two rebels against square, button-down society (and undead brain-eaters) take to the open roads of America, to discover the totality of existence…and fend off hordes of rampaging mindless flesh-eaters. ---
**Author:** ![Humble\_Servant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/47e85d/32.png) [@Humble\_Servant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Humble_Servant)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-other-classic-novels-need-zombification/504707/32 "2009-07-30T15:16:21Z")
> [@norinew](#): > > Here’s the deal: it’s the entire word-for-word Jane Austen classic _Pride and Prejudice_, but at supposedly appropriate places, Zombie Action Bloodbath Scenes ™ have been added. Well, it’s not the entire book–they cut out and changed huge parts to make it shorter in addition to zombifying it. The best part is that it has discussion questions at the end. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-other-classic-novels-need-zombification/504707/33 "2009-07-30T16:08:53Z")
> [@Humble\_Servant](#): > > Well, it’s not the entire book–they cut out and changed huge parts to make it shorter in addition to zombifying it. > > The best part is that it has discussion questions at the end. I appreciate you clarifying that for me. I was going by what the description on the thinkgeek website said. I haven’t read the book (yet), but now I really, really want to. ---
**Author:** ![De\_La\_Rue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@De\_La\_Rue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/De_La_Rue)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-other-classic-novels-need-zombification/504707/34 "2009-07-30T16:47:53Z")
Max Brooks’ [World Wa](http://www.randomhouse.com/crown/worldwarz/index2.php)–uh, wait a minute… ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-other-classic-novels-need-zombification/504707/35 "2009-07-30T17:35:36Z")
> [@](#): > > Zombies would hugely improve Ulysses. A few zombie bloodbaths and it would become a hell of a lot more readable. The best parts are the passages of Zombie Stephen Dedalus’ interior monologue narrated in stream of consciousness style: brains brains brains BRAINS Brains Brains BRAINS brains brains BRAINS BRAINS BRAINS brains brains Brains Brains brains Brains Brains Brains Brains brains brains Brains BRAINS Brains brains? brains brains brains brains brains brains brains brains brains brains BRAINS!!! ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-other-classic-novels-need-zombification/504707/36 "2009-07-30T18:59:55Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > Huckleberry Finn Adventures of Zombie-Fearie Finn ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-other-classic-novels-need-zombification/504707/37 "2009-07-30T20:22:00Z")
Oh think how much more palatable (ha!) _Atlas Shrugged_ and _The Fountainhead_ would be with zombies! _Atlas Munched_. 😃 Seriously I saw this book at the bookstore a week or so ago and laughed so hard I thought I’d embarrass my teenage daughter. She, however, thinks it’s hysterical too, and joined me. _The Age of Innocence_? All that restraint and then … suck out their brains! I can also see a delectable zombified version of _A Clockwork Orange_. Rape, pillage, murder … EAT!! ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-other-classic-novels-need-zombification/504707/38 "2009-07-30T20:29:04Z")
Since the OP mentioned not-so-classic novels, how about _Twilight_? “Oooo, cool! His brains are sparkly too!” - _OM NOM NOM NOM NOM_ \* ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-other-classic-novels-need-zombification/504707/39 "2009-07-30T21:55:42Z")
As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a monstrous, brain-eating zombie. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-other-classic-novels-need-zombification/504707/40 "2009-07-30T22:28:27Z")
The bible. Change all begat to ate pronounced at. Matthew 1:2 Abraham begat Isaac; and Isaac begat Jacob; and Jacob begat Judas and his brethren; 1:3 And Judas begat Phares and Zara of Thamar; and Phares begat Esrom; and Esrom begat Aram; 1:4 And Aram begat Aminadab; and Aminadab begat Naasson; and Naasson begat Salmon; 1:5 And Salmon begat Booz of Rachab; and Booz begat Obed of Ruth; and Obed begat Jesse; 1:6 And Jesse begat David the king; and David the king begat Solomon of her that had been the wife of Urias; 1:7 And Solomon begat Roboam; and Roboam begat Abia; and Abia begat Asa; 1:8 And Asa begat Josaphat; and Josaphat begat Joram; and Joram begat Ozias; 1:9 And Ozias begat Joatham; and Joatham begat Achaz; and Achaz begat Ezekias; 1:10 And Ezekias begat Manasses; and Manasses begat Amon; and Amon begat Josias; 1:11 And Josias begat Jechonias and his brethren, about the time they were carried away to Babylon: 1:12 And after they were brought to Babylon, Jechonias begat Salathiel; and Salathiel begat Zorobabel; 1:13 And Zorobabel begat Abiud; and Abiud begat Eliakim; and Eliakim begat Azor; 1:14 And Azor begat Sadoc; and Sadoc begat Achim; and Achim begat Eliud; 1:15 And Eliud begat Eleazar; and Eleazar begat Matthan; and Matthan begat Jacob; 1:16 And Jacob begat Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus, who is called Christ. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-other-classic-novels-need-zombification/504707.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-other-classic-novels-need-zombification/504707.md?page=3)