# What part of "Fire Lane: No Parking" don't you fuckspigots understand? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 19, 2003, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-fire-lane-no-parking-dont-you-fuckspigots-understand/208286 "2003-10-19T01:41:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-fire-lane-no-parking-dont-you-fuckspigots-understand/208286/81 "2003-10-22T17:04:17Z")
Monty, you’re engaging in just about the stupidest argument I’ve seen on these boards in a long time. Epimetheus got his info from his dad who is in the fire department he referenced. Asking for a cite is ridiculous, he told you already where the information came from. Not all cites have to come from the internet. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-fire-lane-no-parking-dont-you-fuckspigots-understand/208286/82 "2003-10-22T17:19:49Z")
As you say, Monty, he said the police “don’t” write tickets for that kind of violation. He did not, however, say that they “can’t”. Many others have made similar statements in this thread without being asked for cites. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-fire-lane-no-parking-dont-you-fuckspigots-understand/208286/83 "2003-10-22T17:20:06Z")
Did I fucking ask for something from the internet? No! Did I merely begin by asking for proof that it’s not the cops who issue such citations? Yes! Are you dumber than dirt? IMHO, apparently you are. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-fire-lane-no-parking-dont-you-fuckspigots-understand/208286/84 "2003-10-22T17:25:49Z")
Proof? What would constitute an acceptable level of proof in your mind? He’s already said that his info is from a firefighter who works in that location. What could possibly be more reliable in your mind? ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-fire-lane-no-parking-dont-you-fuckspigots-understand/208286/85 "2003-10-22T17:49:08Z")
Well, something that’s not “FOAF” or the equivalent. Did you not see that bit above about city code, etc.? And, yet, you are right that the whole discussion is kind of silly. All I did was ask a simple question and Epi got stupid (or merely displayed it). ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-fire-lane-no-parking-dont-you-fuckspigots-understand/208286/86 "2003-10-22T18:28:55Z")
> [@](#): > > All I did was ask a simple question and Epi got stupid. I think there’s plenty of stupid to go around. On a side-note, you equate “my father, who can reasonably be expected to be an authority on the subject” with “a friend of a friend?” I thought _my_ relationship with my father was remote, but jebus, Monty, I don’t let it colour my perception to _that_ absurd degree. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-fire-lane-no-parking-dont-you-fuckspigots-understand/208286/87 "2003-10-22T18:39:40Z")
Monty, if a direct, face to face conversation with a person who should be considered an expert isn’t good enough, I don’t know what is. Now, if Epi said “my brother told me his ex-roomate Joe the Fireman said this” you’d have a point, but he’s talking about his _father_! ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-fire-lane-no-parking-dont-you-fuckspigots-understand/208286/88 "2003-10-22T19:55:59Z")
Cool. There’s a train wreck in the fire lane. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-fire-lane-no-parking-dont-you-fuckspigots-understand/208286/89 "2003-10-22T20:04:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NurseCarmen \* > \*\*Cool. There’s a train wreck in the fire lane. \*\* BWAHAHAHAHAH!! ---
**Author:** ![byter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e480ec/32.png) [@byter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/byter)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-fire-lane-no-parking-dont-you-fuckspigots-understand/208286/90 "2003-10-22T20:14:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NurseCarmen \* > \*\*Cool. There’s a train wreck in the fire lane. \*\* hehheh now that’s funny! ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-fire-lane-no-parking-dont-you-fuckspigots-understand/208286/91 "2003-10-23T00:28:29Z")
Ignoring the comment about the train wreck (sorry, Nurse; but it was quite funny!), just because his dad’s a firefighter doesn’t mean his dad’s an authority. & It certainly doesn’t mean that he, being the firefighter’s son, proved his assertion when he made it especially when he didn’t mention that little bit of info when he made the assertion. And now how about querying Epi on what mhendo pointed out about the civic duty? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-fire-lane-no-parking-dont-you-fuckspigots-understand/208286/92 "2003-10-23T01:25:46Z")
> [@](#): > > **Monty:** …he didn’t mention that little bit of info when he made the assertion. Huh? Let’s review, shall we? > [@](#): > > **Epimetheus:** Dunno about other places in the country, but it is Firefighters that issue the tickets for illegal fire lane parking here in good ol Independence. My dad is a firefighter and his take is this: Firefighters don’t write tickets for firelane parking because such tickets go to the city’s general fund, which does not get to be used by the fire department at all. You’ve got to be pathologically mendacios, fella. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-fire-lane-no-parking-dont-you-fuckspigots-understand/208286/93 "2003-10-23T01:28:32Z")
^u ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-fire-lane-no-parking-dont-you-fuckspigots-understand/208286/94 "2003-10-23T02:30:33Z")
Thanks for the first part of your posting, Mudd, and for the second part you can just go straight to hell. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-fire-lane-no-parking-dont-you-fuckspigots-understand/208286/95 "2003-10-23T02:43:38Z")
Is there some pathological reason you just cannot admit when you’re wrong, **Monty**? Come on, give it a try just once. ---
**Author:** ![Blonde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Blonde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blonde)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-fire-lane-no-parking-dont-you-fuckspigots-understand/208286/96 "2003-10-23T03:33:56Z")
My Dallas firefighter husband tells me that his station’s men have never encountered a parked car in a fire lane in front of a building on fire (although he says people park in fire lanes all the time.) If faced with that situation, he said they’d probably break out two windows of the car and run the firehose through it. Heh. I’m unclear as to whether it’s important who would write the ticket - it’s simply wrong to park in the firelane. Park your car in a regular spot and get some exercise walking to your destination, I say. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-fire-lane-no-parking-dont-you-fuckspigots-understand/208286/97 "2003-10-23T03:35:24Z")
**Monty,** cool it. You’re acting like an asshole. Keep it up and you WILL get banned. Lynn For the Straight Dope ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-fire-lane-no-parking-dont-you-fuckspigots-understand/208286/98 "2003-10-23T06:17:43Z")
First off; Thanks, **Some Guy**. Those two photos were worth the price of admission alone. Second; > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by county \* > … (And I certainly don’t advocate beating people with axe handles; usually, simply gesturing with the handle is enough, and if it isn’t, one tap will almost always do the trick.) **county** , were you to be illegally parked in a fire lane and caused my residence to burn a millisecond longer than it needed to, you’d likely be the recipient of more than a lovetap or two. Personally, I don’t think an axe handle could stand up to the wear and tear I’d put it through. Then again, maybe I’d just find a nice warm (ungreased) place to hide it and call it quits. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Darkhold \* > At our Wal-Mart there’s usually at least 5 cars parked in the fire lane … **Darkhold** , was that the “Five Cars or Less” fire lane or the regular one? I also wanted to thank everyone for bringing out the very best in our esteemed colleague, the ever lovable, **Monty**. You have provided me with precious insight as to how important it is to disregard his posts in the future. Thirteen pittings? Hell, makes me feel like a regular greenhorn! ---
**Author:** ![Blonde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Blonde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blonde)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-fire-lane-no-parking-dont-you-fuckspigots-understand/208286/99 "2003-10-24T06:03:19Z")
**Originally posted by Darkhold At our Wal-Mart there’s usually at least 5 cars parked in the fire lane …** Walmart has a little problem with hiring illegal aliens, so they’re putting out their own fire as we speak. All the posters who think it’s OK to park in the fire lane - imagine yourself or someone you love in that burning building, and then make your choice about saving one minute of your time. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-fire-lane-no-parking-dont-you-fuckspigots-understand/208286/100 "2003-10-24T07:21:30Z")
**Blonde** , how dare you?!? We who wave (at all) to those on patrol while serving as emergency duty personnel know one thing, if this. Whosoever is confronted with an emergency vehicle (or its putative parking space) should immediately imagine that said conveyance is _en route_ to one’s own child’s, mother’s or spouse’s flame seared home. ANY QUESTIONS? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-fire-lane-no-parking-dont-you-fuckspigots-understand/208286.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-fire-lane-no-parking-dont-you-fuckspigots-understand/208286.md?page=6)