# What part of "NO DOGS" do you not understand??? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 3, 2009, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-no-dogs-do-you-not-understand/484317 "2009-02-03T21:57:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-no-dogs-do-you-not-understand/484317/101 "2009-02-05T02:09:45Z")
Exactly. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-no-dogs-do-you-not-understand/484317/102 "2009-02-05T02:26:14Z")
never mind. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-no-dogs-do-you-not-understand/484317/103 "2009-02-05T04:33:18Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > Yeah, I’m close to my parents too, and I wouldn’t make them stay in a hotel or board their dogs after driving across the country to see me. Know why? Because my parents would _leave their dogs the hell at home_ if I said they weren’t welcome. And their dogs are house-trained, free of parasites, reasonably quiet, and absolutely not going to bite anyone. This is because my parents are not self-absorbed jackasses. I second EJsGirl- \*exactly. \* ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-no-dogs-do-you-not-understand/484317/104 "2009-02-05T07:16:31Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Do you honestly think that in his mind, he said “I’m going to manipulate my daughter to show her who’s boss”? (That’s a legitimate question, not a rhetorical one.) In my experience, controlling, manipulative assholes don’t think of themselves as controlling, manipulative assholes. They just feel entitled to whatever they want, and _of course_ everyone else should absolutely, happily, and without question accommodate them. That “fact” of life is so obvious to them that they believe that _of course_ it’s obvious to everyone else too; if you disagree it’s not merely a difference of opinion or of priorities – you’re clearly _wrong_. So no, I wouldn’t guess that he was thinking _explicitly_ in terms of “Oh ho! Now I will manipulate and control my daughter!” That doesn’t make him any less of a manipulative, controlling, entitled asshole, however. > [@](#): > > But consider also that people have a huge capacity to hear only what they want to hear. “I know she said no dogs, but she couldn’t possibly have meant my little shnookum wookums! Who can say no to shnookum wookums?” Yes, there really are people out there who are that clueless, and often without malice. Depends on what you mean by malice, I guess. It’s definitely a manipulation technique, whether they do it as a purposeful plan of action or an unconscious habit. Something they learned to do to get what they want. Some people cultivate their lack of self-awareness for just this reason. They wouldn’t be able to hold onto their self-image of always being right/being a nice person if they looked at themselves too critically, and that’s exactly why they don’t. IMHO a lack of self-awareness doesn’t confer innocence or entitle anyone to a free pass on bad behavior. If anything it makes it worse because they _could_ behave better, they just can’t be arsed to make the very basic effort of a little navel gazing. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-no-dogs-do-you-not-understand/484317/105 "2009-02-05T07:58:30Z")
He didn’t leave the dog home because nobody or nowhere will take it. He will try to stay and sneak the little rug crapper in during the middle of the night. You need to make clear that there is only one bitch allowed in your house at all times ever. If he doesn’t have enough money for a motel, he can sleep in his car with his bitch. This guy bought man toys for himself when you were a child instead of paying rent? What a fucking tool. And you don’t need to find a pets motel for him, just rip the yellow pages for motels out. He will ignore any no pets rule and stay at a different one each night. Best he not cross your threshold until he has already paid for his motel room. ---
**Author:** ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-no-dogs-do-you-not-understand/484317/106 "2009-02-05T13:22:46Z")
Well, while combing my hair this morning, I looked into the mirror and it hit me. I’d actually decided (without a possibility of budging) that if he shows up tomorrow night with that dog (and I’m betting there’s a 50% chance he’ll show with little Chiquita tucked under his coat) that not only will I not let him in the house, I’ll blast him for disregarding my decision and his lack of respect and tell him he can take his dog and go…well, back to Tulsa. Up until this morning, I was actually starting to feel a bit bad about wavering in my decision to “sneak” the dog in the house. No more. No more wavering, no more guilt, no more feeling torn, no more taking crap. Seriously, I don’t need this crap in my life. ---
**Author:** ![shantih](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f6c823/32.png) [@shantih](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shantih)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-no-dogs-do-you-not-understand/484317/107 "2009-02-05T13:34:28Z")
Good for you! Stick to your guns! You are absolutely not responsible for his poor listening skills and lack of respect for you and your boundaries. You’re an adult in your own home, and you do not need to apologize for that. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-no-dogs-do-you-not-understand/484317/108 "2009-02-05T13:58:01Z")
> [@phall0106](#): > > not only will I not let him in the house, I’ll blast him for disregarding my decision and his lack of respect and tell him he can take his dog and go…well, back to Tulsa. Awesome. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-no-dogs-do-you-not-understand/484317/109 "2009-02-05T14:02:08Z")
> [@Kaio](#): > > Depends on what you mean by malice, I guess. In legal terms, it’s called mens rea. The difference is being an asswipe on purpose vs being an asswipe by accident. Either way, the person is still being an asswipe. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-no-dogs-do-you-not-understand/484317/110 "2009-02-05T14:25:02Z")
> [@nyctea scandiaca](#): > > Re-read my post that you quoted: > Then read it again. Now I will repeat - That is fine if she doesn’t want the dog in the house - just tell the truth instead of using the landlord as an excuse. She should say “I DON’T WANT THE FUCKING DOG IN THE DWELLING!” instead of “the evil landlord won’t allow it!” Read the thread. She said both, loud and clear. Since both are valid reasons\*, there is absolutely no reason why she shouldn’t invoke both. \*No, failure to explicitly request an exception from the rules does not make this one any less valid. She is under no obligation to do so, and within her rights to stand firm on existing rules that favor her position. > [@](#): > > The _real_ underlying story is that **phall0106** clearly has a lot of issues with her dad in addition to disliking his dog. I don’t know what they are :eek: You _don’t know what they are_? Have you even read this thread? It quite clearly indicates the (justified) “issues” with his immature behavior. > [@](#): > > Because if one is close to a parent or a relative, and loves them and are on good terms with them, they would surely find a way to accommodate them She did. She gave him adequate notice that he needed to make arrangements for the dogs. > [@](#): > > In the scheme of things, a little dirty annoying dog staying in a crate overnight is not that big of a deal if it is for a person you love. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: A flea infestation is “not that big of a deal”? A health hazard to her pets is “not that big of a deal”? A risk of eviction is “not that big of a deal”? These things are “not that big of a deal” in the context of saving a family member from a genuine emergency situation – but _not_ to save him from inconvenience caused by his own actions. > [@](#): > > Can anyone say they believe that this would be such a big deal if the child were on good terms with the parent? Er, the _reason_ they aren’t on good terms is because he has a habit of this sort of childish behavior. Again, RTFT. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-no-dogs-do-you-not-understand/484317/111 "2009-02-05T14:49:43Z")
**nyctea scandiaca** , I know exactly what it’s like to be misunderstood on these boards. You can say perfectly reasonable things, and people will get all up in your shit for it. You can say “The sky is blue”, and people will come back at you saying “Fuck you, the sky is blue, why the fuck do you keep calling it red?” And there’s no arguing with them. Some days, the universe just decides that you lose. I feel for you. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-no-dogs-do-you-not-understand/484317/112 "2009-02-05T15:23:00Z")
My ex sister in law tried to pull this on us. THREE greyhounds (which are nice dogs) in a house that was new with not one, but two children under two in it, one ill, elderly cat, and one bitchy scrapper of a cat. They were coming to visit and I said “no dogs” - I found out later they were intending on bringing the dogs anyway - because what was I going to do, send them away - when I told my mother in law “yes, I would send them away and not let them stay in my house, no dogs - the cat wouldn’t survive it and the house isn’t suited for three large dogs and I’m not sure how my kids will react. I have my hands full already with two little kids and company staying at my house for a week, I don’t need three dogs.” For years I became the bitch who didn’t understand that their dogs were like children to them. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-no-dogs-do-you-not-understand/484317/113 "2009-02-05T15:39:55Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > **nyctea scandiaca** , I know exactly what it’s like to be misunderstood on these boards. You can say perfectly reasonable things, and people will get all up in your shit for it. You can say “The sky is blue”, and people will come back at you saying “Fuck you, the sky is blue, why the fuck do you keep calling it red?” And there’s no arguing with them. > > Some days, the universe just decides that you lose. I feel for you. Yes, and some days you can completely miss the point that the real rant is about a parent who insists on winning a war of wills with a grown child who clearly wants to break out of that. Somedays you can nitpick about one fact in an argument when the OP has expressed many and then get all pissed off when somebody points out that the OP’s dilemma doesn’t hinge on your point. But don’t worry. If you get called on your shit, **TDN** will ride in on a white horse and paint you as the noble victim. ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-no-dogs-do-you-not-understand/484317/114 "2009-02-05T15:43:16Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > This guy bought man toys for himself when you were a child instead of paying rent? What a fucking tool. Yeah, but don’t tell me that “Spent the rent money on turtles” wouldn’t be an AWESOME t-shirt. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-no-dogs-do-you-not-understand/484317/115 "2009-02-05T15:45:04Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > But don’t worry. If you get called on your shit, **TDN** will ride in on a white horse and paint you as the noble victim. What shit, exactly, is she getting called on? She basically said “No dogs, period, should be reason enough.” Several people replied “So you think it’s OK that he brings the dogs?” There’s a serious reading comprehension problem in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-no-dogs-do-you-not-understand/484317/116 "2009-02-05T15:52:46Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > “Muffy, meet Adolph. Adolph… Eat Muffy!” _laugh_ I felt the need to let you know that I got that, and heard it said in the appropriate Danny DeVito voice. Reading about the OP’s clueless dad, I’m reminded of another quote from [that movie](http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0091877/). “This could very well be the stupidest person on the face of the earth. Perhaps we should shoot him” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-no-dogs-do-you-not-understand/484317/117 "2009-02-05T15:56:47Z")
> [@Equipoise](#): > > “This could very well be the stupidest person on the face of the earth. Perhaps we should shoot him” Tee hee! “Either he’s a complete moron, and complete morons are rare…” ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-no-dogs-do-you-not-understand/484317/118 "2009-02-05T16:11:57Z")
> [@nyctea scandiaca](#): > > **phall0106** , can you honestly say that if you asked your landlord nicely if your dad’s crated dog could stay briefly, and you explained he situation, that he would say NO and threaten to evict you if the dog stayed? Because it sounds to me that you’re just using the landlord as the excuse and that it’s really just you who doesn’t want the dog to stay. Which is fine, but don’t put the blame on the landlord if that’s not the real issue. > > I have lived in a lot of “no pets” rentals, and I don’t think I would have ever had a problem asking for a temporary exception under certain circumstances. Most landlords are just not that mean/inflexible. “My lease doesn’t allow for dogs” wasn’t the only reason given by **phall0106** , it was just one of many. The main reason when you want to do something to someone and they tell you “no” is that they said “no.” No further reasons are needed. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-no-dogs-do-you-not-understand/484317/119 "2009-02-05T16:27:44Z")
> [@lisacurl](#): > > You set a boundary, it was clear and non-negotiable, and your dad chose to ignore it. It’s now time to maintain it. It’s not your fault, or the dog’s, it’s Dad’s. This. Don’t make excuses. A hundred excuses just means dad has to come up with a hundred reasons why you are wrong. Did your father ever say “My house, my rules”? At this point you must know he is going to show up with that dog, right? The question isn’t what should you say or what should dad do. The question is: what are you going to do when he is standing in your front yard with that little dog running around yapping? I say lock the doors and tell him to go away and not to come back with the dog. That’s going to take some serious backbone and he knows it. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-no-dogs-do-you-not-understand/484317/120 "2009-02-05T16:33:54Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > What shit, exactly, is she getting called on? She basically said “No dogs, period, should be reason enough.” Several people replied “So you think it’s OK that he brings the dogs?” > > **There’s a serious reading comprehension problem in this thread.** [Bolding Mine] Well good, we agree on **something** 😛 Let me give you an illustration of why I so terribly missed at _comprehension_ in this thread. **A** tries to give **B** a piece of Chocolate cake: B: Sorry don’t want it A: Sure you do, here B: Can’t I’m diabetic A: I insist - here B: It’s fattening, I’m on a diet A: Here B: My wife wouldn’t allow me to have it ns: Are you sure your wife would say that? Some wives would make an exception. You should just say you don’t want it. Don’t bring a wife into it. I would eat the chocolate cake if I knew how important it was to A. BD: It’s not about the wife. Its about B not wanting cake. tdn: BD you don’t get it I kind of look at the illustration as having certain parallel thems to this thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-no-dogs-do-you-not-understand/484317.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-part-of-no-dogs-do-you-not-understand/484317.md?page=7)