Everyone has certain fixed and certain discretionary costs in their “budget”, even if they don’t make a real budget.
Housing, transportation, food and other utilities are mostly non-discretionary.
Entertainment, including eating meals out, booze, movies, etc. is all discretionary.
Then you have costs where you make a sort of choice, that some people consider discretionary, and others might not. These are things like savings, such as retirement or rainy day funds, or for college or other future life choices, maybe having kids if you’re younger, or planning for your wedding, etc.
After you’ve paid all of the stuff from the first pile, hopefully you have some amount left for the next two. Then it’s a matter of prioritizing the others. If you’re already socking money away for stuff in the last basket (or consciously choosing not to), then you can balance the rest of your discretionary spend. Vacations are important for your psyche, but the amount you spend on them is up to you.
Personally, right now, I am getting to that point where I am balancing out things like making sure we have enough funding for our dotage, paying for our kids’ college, and spending good quality time with our kids and other family while we can. We have a two week trip to Asia in a couple of months, but that’s going to be largely “sponsored” by my MIL, who specifically asked us to come out.
There is some discretionary spend on our part, where I’m throwing some extra money at it to get Mrs Shibb and the Shibblets upgrades for most or all of their flights, a couple of world class restaurants in Bangkok that I hope to visit, and a few nights in nice hotels. We’re also generally expected to bring gifts for all of the family out there, but still will spend less than 4-5K for those extras. It’s not something we do every year, but it’s not really “once in a lifetime”, either, and I won’t pretend that it is. It’s certainly more frequent as we’ve gotten older and can afford it more often. I do keep in mind that money I spend on this is not money available when I’m older, including any compounding of investment ($1000 now might equal much more in 20 years, invested properly).