# What personality flaws do you have that are offputting to others? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 26, 2009, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820 "2009-03-26T01:22:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Jettboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@Jettboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jettboy)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/21 "2009-03-26T12:25:57Z")
I’m not sure if it’s a ‘flaw’ per se, but I’m shy; not painfully awkward in social settings, just quiet and reserved until I get to know people. Some people interpret this as unfriendliness. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/22 "2009-03-26T12:31:17Z")
I don’t talk very much IRL, which is fine…but then there’s also times when I _can’t_ talk. The other day, a co-worker came up and plopped herself down in a chair near my desk and said something like, “Ugh, this travel entry is driving me crazy!” Well, I don’t like this lady very much, and I don’t know anything about the job she was doing, and nothing (except her) was driving me crazy at the moment…so I just stared at her without a word. It was clearly my turn to speak and I couldn’t come up with a single thing. I’m not very sociable, either. The other ladies in my office get together and gab while I remain at my desk. I can usually do chit-chat when necessary, but I don’t initiate. I’m sure they all think I’m a bitch. I interrupt when my husband is speaking. He’s the only person I do it to, so it’s probably really his fault. 🙂 Nah, he just pauses when he speaks, and I know where he’s going with his thought, so I jump in and “help”. Then I feel like an asshole, especially if I guessed wrong. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/23 "2009-03-26T12:47:35Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > I don’t talk very much IRL, which is fine…but then there’s also times when I _can’t_ talk. The other day, a co-worker came up and plopped herself down in a chair near my desk and said something like, “Ugh, this travel entry is driving me crazy!” Well, I don’t like this lady very much, and I don’t know anything about the job she was doing, and nothing (except her) was driving me crazy at the moment…so I just stared at her without a word. It was clearly my turn to speak and I couldn’t come up with a single thing. In circumstances like that, all you have to do is say something like, ‘Oh really?’ or ‘Yeah?’ ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/24 "2009-03-26T12:50:43Z")
I kind of shoot from the hip and say outrageous things. IRL, people that know me don’t mind, because I’m amiable, gregarious and funny. But online, it doesn’t translate as well. I’m sure people who choose their words carefully are irked by my outbursts. ---
**Author:** ![Arglefraster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3bc359/32.png) [@Arglefraster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arglefraster)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/25 "2009-03-26T13:05:15Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > I interrupt. I do it either because I’m so excited by what you said that I want to jump in or because I know where you are going to with your point and got it already- pure impatience. > > I try to control it, but sometimes its hard! I do this too. I really have to bite my tongue at work, where I do technical support over the phone. Often I’ll know what the problem is right away, while they want to keep explaining with more details that I really don’t need. It’s all I can do not to interrupt them so I can fix their problem faster. I feel like it would be more efficient, but from their point of view it would really be rude. Oddly enough, I also tend to over-explain things. Everyone who’s listening got the point ages ago, but I feel the need to keep going, and add metaphores, and maybe diagrams or something, to make sure they really understand what I’m getting at. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/26 "2009-03-26T13:06:29Z")
I can be judgmental. It’s been pointed out here. I don’t do it to a person’s face though; I’ll wait until my wife and I are some distance away and we’ll talk trash about people and their cluelessness. When I’m making a point, I tend to over-make it. I’ll present example after example after example, as if I don’t think my audience fully understands it yet, so I need to present another one… eventually I suddenly read on their faces (if they’re being polite) that they’re all thinking “ENOUGH! We GET it!” I’m not always very good at conversation. We used to do these exercises in my acting class in high school where we’d ad-lib a situation, and you’d always try not to kill the scene but come up with dialogue to create or extend the give & take with the other actor. I find myself constantly “killing the scene” in my real life- I tend to just let their comments die with no response. I’d love to know what it means to “walk like an asshole”. ETA- wow, I didn’t see **Arglefraster** ’s comment about over explaining things before I posted. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/27 "2009-03-26T13:10:42Z")
I can be really condescending, even though I try pretty hard to police that part of my behavior. I have a hard time initiating conversations, and tend to talk on a theme that someone else came up with rather than one of my own, usually after the subject has already been exhausted. I tend not to make eye contact with other people. I use “I” way too much. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/28 "2009-03-26T13:14:17Z")
Thought of another one: I frequently choke on the Polite Fiction. For example, a chubby co-worker says, “I look like a sausage stuffed into this outfit!” The little man in my head instantly hands over the cue card, which says Oh no you don’t! I say to him, But she does! She does! She’ll know I’m lying! Little man: You have to! It says so right here. Me: It’s so obvious. Think of something better! _Little man shuffles cards_ Um…tell her she has pretty hair. Me: That sounds like I agree she’s fat. Little man: We don’t have time for this! She’s waiting! Me: Why is she doing this to me? Do you think she… Little man: DAMN IT SAY WHAT I TELL YOU! I call aloud, to the co-worker’s retreating back, “You look…just fine…” Little man: You suck. Me: No, _you_. (etc.) I need a new little man. Like **sandra\_nz** ’s. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/29 "2009-03-26T13:16:26Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by **Monstro** > 3. I’m pathological introverted. I will socialize in the office break room and suffer fools who come into my office to chat, but after work I don’t want to see or talk to anyone. I turn into a monk on the weekends and become unsettled when people want me to do things with them. I make exceptions, of course, for family, but even then I’m looking at the clock. Out of all my flaws this one bothers me the most because I know it upsets people. People want me to go to their parties or do the nebulous “hang out” thing, and they understandably get offended when I always decline their invitations. All of the above, plus I view almost any kind of question except the most factual as incredibly intrusive. “How are you?” is a personal inquiry to me, and the person asking should just \*back off. \* ---
**Author:** ![dotchan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@dotchan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dotchan)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/30 "2009-03-26T13:17:44Z")
- I tend to be very blunt. I don’t sugarcoat things and I speak my mind, whether you care to hear it or not. - I sometimes assume you can read my mind or on the same train of thought as I am, so I’ll occasionally burst out with what sounds like complete nonsequitors. - I can be very, very bossy in certain circumstances, and will throw tantrums if things don’t go my way. - I’m also very passive-aggressive when it comes to doing stuff I don’t like, and will drag my feet and do a half-assed job. ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/31 "2009-03-26T13:20:23Z")
I’m sarcastic and see a lot of humor around me that apparently isn’t funny to everyone else. and I love puns and see them everywhere. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/32 "2009-03-26T13:34:33Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > Thought of another one: I frequently choke on the Polite Fiction. For example, a chubby co-worker says, “I look like a sausage stuffed into this outfit!” > The little man in my head instantly hands over the cue card, which says Oh no you don’t! > I say to him, But she does! She does! She’ll know I’m lying! > Little man: You have to! It says so right here. > Me: It’s so obvious. Think of something better! > _Little man shuffles cards_ Um…tell her she has pretty hair. > Me: That sounds like I agree she’s fat. > Little man: We don’t have time for this! She’s waiting! > Me: Why is she doing this to me? Do you think she… > Little man: DAMN IT SAY WHAT I TELL YOU! > I call aloud, to the co-worker’s retreating back, “You look…just fine…” > Little man: You suck. > Me: No, _you_. (etc.) > > I need a new little man. Like **sandra\_nz** ’s. 🙂 I want to say this is exactly what goes on in my head. But then \*\*Dung Beetle \*\*will just think I’m sucking up. Maybe I could say this is sort of how I think except that the little guy uses a teleprompter? No, too similar, everyone would know I’m just copying. Oh, nevermind, I just won’t say anything. I manage this by always going for the joke, thereby never having to give the straight answer nice people use. My Wife calls me a smartass and I promise to try to control it at which point I think: must … not … say “Do you want me to be a dumbass?”. ---
**Author:** ![EpicNonsense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c37758/32.png) [@EpicNonsense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EpicNonsense)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/33 "2009-03-26T13:38:49Z")
Flaws!? Ha!.. I have no flaws. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/34 "2009-03-26T13:45:54Z")
> [@shiftless](#): > > I want to say this is exactly what goes on in my head. But then \*\*Dung Beetle \*\*will just think I’m sucking up. Maybe I could say this is sort of how I think except that the little guy uses a teleprompter? No, too similar, everyone would know I’m just copying. Oh, nevermind, I just won’t say anything. My little man and I feel your pain. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![VanillaGorilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f9ae1b/32.png) [@VanillaGorilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VanillaGorilla)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/35 "2009-03-26T14:08:37Z")
I don’t talk. Well, very little anyway. When I do talk, it’s usually pretty boring. ---
**Author:** ![EmAnJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@EmAnJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmAnJ)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/36 "2009-03-26T14:41:32Z")
I’m not very social. I have a few friends at work that I talk to on an almost daily basis in some form or another, but I don’t make a point of making friends and socializing with them. I’ve been told that people here are ‘scared’ of me, or think I’m a bitch. I don’t like talking on the phone, even to my family. I have to sometimes force myself to call my parents, sisters or grandparents. I hardly call my friends unless it’s something important or I feel I should make an effort to see them. I have little tolerance for people who have a hard time understanding things explained to them, or who can’t follow directions. If I show you once, step by step, how to do something, next time you should be able to pretty much figure it out for yourself. ETA: I’m also a BIG procrastinator. Everything gets done on time, but it’s always at the last minute. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/37 "2009-03-26T15:10:39Z")
I am very tolerant of mess. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/38 "2009-03-26T15:11:57Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > You are my favorite kind of person. Well, I’m also a smart-ass, so perhaps not. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/39 "2009-03-26T15:26:31Z")
I need no other flaws than my pompousness, thank you. ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/40 "2009-03-26T15:34:21Z")
I can see myself in a lot of these posts. I’m not really blunt usually though. Also, I tend to be a poor judge of when I’m pissing people off. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820.md?page=3)