# What personality flaws do you have that are offputting to others? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 26, 2009, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820 "2009-03-26T01:22:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glory)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2009, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/61 "2009-03-27T00:27:37Z")
I interrupt a lot. I hate that about myself and I’m trying to work on it. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2009, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/62 "2009-03-27T00:29:55Z")
I’m kind of a know-it-all, and I’m told I’m negative but I don’t notice it myself. Also, I am disgustingly messy. My house is a disaster zone. And I HATE it, but I never seem to do anything about it. Or I do a big cleaning push and then it goes right back to where it was. I wish I were either neat or didn’t care. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2009, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/63 "2009-03-27T00:54:42Z")
Let me see: I drink excessively I womanize I’m short-tempered I’m sarcastic I’m elitist I’m selfish I’m arrogant (except that I’m usually right and can back up my arrogance) I don’t respect authority I’m a bit vain and narcissistic I’m prone to not giving a shit if I don’t Not that I go around like a raging asshole. I try to temper these with my positive traits. ---
**Author:** ![StuffLikeThatThere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc8723/32.png) [@StuffLikeThatThere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StuffLikeThatThere)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2009, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/64 "2009-03-27T02:02:24Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > First, I’ve learned that being quiet is actually intimidating to some more out-going people. Apparently they worry about what we’re thinking _about them_…which strikes me as pretty narcissistic because I’m rarely thinking about them at all, never mind ruminating on some sort of negative opinion of them. Not giving your opinion of them seems to make a lot of people think you dislike them, even if you don’t. This is really, really interesting for me. It’s definitely true that quiet people can be seen as intimidating. My husband’s cousin, who is a really good guy, is often thought to be a jerk because he is a) very reserved and b) very handsome. People assume that he thinks he’s better than they are, when in fact he is painfully shy. I don’t necessarily think it narcissism, though I do see that point of view. I think it’s because in general, people offer verbal and physical feedback as you’re speaking to them or near them. They do it unconsciously. Very reserved people seem to do this much less than average. In the absence of information, we assume the worst. Does that make sense? Thanks for offering that point of view. I appreciate it, and if I can remember it, I hope I’ll interact with people in a better way. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2009, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/65 "2009-03-27T08:44:13Z")
A minor thing that drives some of my friends crazy is that I have no opinion when it comes to deciding where to go to eat or drink. I really don’t care. And no, I’m not one of those people that pretends they don’t care then starts complaning about the decision after the fact. I am perfectly happy to let others decide, but sometimes it seems to annoy my friends when I don’t have any opinion to contribute. ---
**Author:** ![starwarsfreek42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e56c9b/32.png) [@starwarsfreek42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/starwarsfreek42)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2009, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/66 "2009-03-27T09:32:07Z")
I don’t try to be antisocial or unfriendly on purpose, but the fact of the matter is that I don’t care about: your job, your kids, your classes, your dog, your carpet, your hair, your nails, your flower beds, your van’s paint job, your boyfriend, your sex life. Don’t care. Unconcerned. Shut up. No really, stop talking. You are wasting your breath. I have been told I’m intimidating and unapproachable, and that my voice carries. I think I speak a little loudly because my hearing is terrible, and I don’t realize how loud I am. Knowing this, I can compensate to some degree, but people still tell me I’m too loud. I don’t want to be touched. I don’t care if you’re my new co-worker or my mother. Don’t pick lint of my sleeve, don’t pat me on the back. Do not put your hands on my person. You will be drawing back a bloody stump. I don’t consider this to be a personality flaw, but some people seem to. Also, I correct people’s grammar and spelling. Publicly. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2009, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/67 "2009-03-27T10:39:35Z")
> [@HazelNutCoffee](#): > > A minor thing that drives some of my friends crazy is that I have no opinion when it comes to deciding where to go to eat or drink. I really don’t care. And no, I’m not one of those people that pretends they don’t care then starts complaning about the decision after the fact. I am perfectly happy to let others decide, but sometimes it seems to annoy my friends when I don’t have any opinion to contribute. You drive me nuts! 😃 Well, not you, but a friend of mine who is the same. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![discodancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9c0ed/32.png) [@discodancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/discodancer)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2009, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/68 "2009-03-27T16:24:54Z")
I make negative comments, more than the average person. I’m opinionated. I don’t like to talk on the phone much. I like to wear socks with sandals. I make puns. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2009, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/69 "2009-03-27T18:09:32Z")
I’m indecisive. Over-analtical (you don’t often get a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer from me. At least not straight away) ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2009, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/70 "2009-03-27T18:20:42Z")
> [@dotchan](#): > > - I tend to be very blunt. I don’t sugarcoat things and I speak my mind, whether you care to hear it or not. > - I sometimes assume you can read my mind or on the same train of thought as I am, so I’ll occasionally burst out with what sounds like complete nonsequitors. > - I can be very, very bossy in certain circumstances, and will throw tantrums if things don’t go my way. > - I’m also very passive-aggressive when it comes to doing stuff I don’t like, and will drag my feet and do a half-assed job. Are we related? I also don’t give a damn whose fault it is. Shit, just find a solution and fix it. I work for someone who will run things into the ground trying to figure out who is at fault. It doesn’t matter. My motto is “it is what it is. It ain’t what it was or what it should be.” ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2009, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/71 "2009-03-27T19:13:35Z")
I have a sometimes uncontrollable desire to smack the shit out of people who never got a set of brakes installed between brain and mouth. Everything that rolls through your mind doesn’t have to come out of your lips. “Blunt” and “outspoken” and “say what’s on my mind” are most often just euphemisms for “rude loudmouth.” ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2009, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/72 "2009-03-27T19:19:40Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I say pretty much exactly what’s on my mind. I don’t believe in bullshitting people. Hey, at least you know where you stand. Come sit by me. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2009, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/73 "2009-03-27T19:21:14Z")
I just found out today from the receiver who has been trying to destroy my business and evict me from my home that I’m abrasive. Fancy that… I forgot I was supposed to smile, bend over, ask for another and write him a big check. ---
**Author:** ![Millit\_the\_Frail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Millit\_the\_Frail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Millit_the_Frail)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2009, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/74 "2009-03-28T08:06:28Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > I have a sometimes uncontrollable desire to smack the shit out of people who never got a set of brakes installed between brain and mouth. Everything that rolls through your mind doesn’t have to come out of your lips. “Blunt” and “outspoken” and “say what’s on my mind” are most often just euphemisms for “rude loudmouth.” I tend to agree. Some people are honest and straightforward, and some people just like making others feel uncomfortable. There are plenty of days where I really don’t need to hear about how I don’t look so great or whatever. And people who micromanage and criticize everyone around them under the guise of “just being blunt,” etc. really need the crap beaten out of them. But on to my own flaws… I don’t take kindly to teasing and can be over-sensitive. The flip side is that I won’t tease you either unless I know you **really** well and know you can take it. I’m bad at keeping in touch and I can take forever to get back to you. It’s a form of procrastination that I’ve never gotten over. I don’t like silence and will talk to fill spaces. It’s probably annoying to a lot of people, but I’m getting better. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2009, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/75 "2009-03-28T09:09:08Z")
My exceeding awesomeness isn’t quite balanced out by my great humility. Oh, wait. No, I meant I’m sarcastic and cynical and I say things that aren’t true because they’re funny to me, but probably not to anyone else. I’m also so shy as to appear aloof, as we’ve discussed before. Stick around me for 5 years and we’ll be best buds and my extrovert side comes out, but before that, honestly, _if_ I can manage to remember your name, I’m still not likely to initiate conversation, because I’m pretty sure you don’t remember me or you hate me. I’m a slob. Hate hate hate housework. But I feel very ashamed and guilty of that fact when people come over, and I make self-deprecating remarks about it which probably makes people more uncomfortable than the mess does. Ditto my weight. I’m one of those irritating fat chicks who makes fun of her huge ass because I feel like it’s the elephant in the living room and I just want to get it over with. Like **Millit the Frail** , I’m terrible at keeping touch, even when I really enjoy the person. As \*\*Millit \*\*knows. We haven’t talked since that Dopefest last year! 😃 > [@HazelNutCoffee](#): > > A minor thing that drives some of my friends crazy is that I have no opinion when it comes to deciding where to go to eat or drink. I really don’t care. And no, I’m not one of those people that pretends they don’t care then starts complaning about the decision after the fact. I am perfectly happy to let others decide, but sometimes it seems to annoy my friends when I don’t have any opinion to contribute. Me too! You and I could probably play the “No, wherever you want to go is fine, really!” game for hours without figuring out where to go. But yeah, I really don’t care! When I do care, I’m rather a loudmouth about it, so people can rest assured that if I’m not in their face about it, I really, honestly, don’t care. Well, they can rest assured, but they don’t. ---
**Author:** ![incidental](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/22d042/32.png) [@incidental](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/incidental)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2009, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/76 "2009-03-29T04:22:59Z")
I’m very deadpan. With an odd sense of humor. All the time. Sometimes I find someone whose sense of humor clicks with mine, but that’s not often. I suspect everyone else just thinks I’m weird. I’m also very, very polite (think Victorian era) and can get miffed when other people don’t return the favor. ---
**Author:** ![gravitycrash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@gravitycrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gravitycrash)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2009, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/77 "2009-03-29T22:26:46Z")
I have no patience for slow talkers or people who take long pauses before the next sentence. I always end up stepping on their next sentence before they are through with their train of thought. Of course this makes me look like an asshole and I have to end up apologizing for interrupting, which in turn pisses me off because I hate to say I’m sorry when I’m really not. Don’t. Speak. Like. This. And. I. Will. Try. Not. To. Interrupt. You. I guess my lack of patience in general is my number one personality flaw. ---
**Author:** ![Millit\_the\_Frail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Millit\_the\_Frail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Millit_the_Frail)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/78 "2009-03-30T03:25:08Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Like **Millit the Frail** , I’m terrible at keeping touch, even when I really enjoy the person. As \*\*Millit \*\*knows. We haven’t talked since that Dopefest last year! 😃 So true! Maybe sometime this summer we girls can throw something together. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820/79 "2009-03-30T05:07:44Z")
I probably have a great many flaws, but I expect other people who know me would be better at listing them! One that I will mention, and that I have noticed more and more as the years go by, is that I don’t get angry. I guess it’s debatable whether this is much of a flaw at all, but I know some people think it is and who definitely find it ‘offputting’, as per the OP. It just seems to be an emotional circuit that I don’t have or that I automatically bypass. In all other respects, I seem to have a fairly ‘normal’ range of emotions. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-personality-flaws-do-you-have-that-are-offputting-to-others/490820.md?page=3)