# What public "formalities" do you favor? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 11, 2022, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-public-formalities-do-you-favor/960920 "2022-03-11T20:15:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2022, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-public-formalities-do-you-favor/960920/21 "2022-03-11T22:08:20Z")
Whatever happened to the friendly wave back when you let someone cut in front of you in traffic? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2022, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-public-formalities-do-you-favor/960920/22 "2022-03-11T22:09:53Z")
_I believe that if you let somebody cut in front of you in traffic and they don’t give you the little “wave”, it should be perfectly legal to get up underneath 'em, get 'em loose, and put 'em into the wall._ - Jeff Foxworthy ---
**Author:** ![suranyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2022, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-public-formalities-do-you-favor/960920/23 "2022-03-11T22:11:25Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > How about at a game/concert, where the person in front of you thinks it is great to stand through the whole event? That’s a good one. At many concerts you have a choice of location: Standing up close, or seated further away. I always choose seated, because I get severe pain in my legs when I stand too long. Yet so often, people in front of me stand up as soon as the headliner appears. If I wanted to stand I would’ve bought a ticket in the standing area! Grr. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2022, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-public-formalities-do-you-favor/960920/24 "2022-03-11T22:20:20Z")
Hmmm… > [@Dinsdale](#): > > I really try to not be TOO intolerant. So while I consider smoking (tobacco, at least) to be vile, I recognize that in a society my preferences are not paramount. So I’ll personally tolerate SOME smoking outdoors - provided there is enough space between us. Well, like I said- not if a non-smoker can smell it, which means he is getting some of the poison. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2022, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-public-formalities-do-you-favor/960920/25 "2022-03-11T22:43:13Z")
If you use speakerphone in public I can only assume that it is because you want to include the general public in on the conversation, so I guess the proper thing to do would be for me to participate in said conversation. Right? ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2022, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-public-formalities-do-you-favor/960920/26 "2022-03-11T22:59:56Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > You’re going to look at me like I’ve got two heads, but as a pedestrian I still like to see and manifest some consciously respectful demeanor when a funeral cortege passes in the street. In the small-ish town (pop. 8,500) that I moved to the city from 10 years ago, when a funeral came toward you, cars going the opposite way pulled over to the side of the road and stopped until the whole procession passed. I always thought that was very courteous. It’s what-- 10 or 15 minutes out of your life? An easy gesture of respect for the family who are in those lead cars. ---
**Author:** ![anny\_m](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@anny\_m](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anny_m)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2022, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-public-formalities-do-you-favor/960920/27 "2022-03-11T23:15:24Z")
Many years ago I was at a Stevie Ray Vaughn concert. Seated behind me were three or four young men who proclaimed loudly about how cool it was while Stevie was playing. After several minutes, I shushed them. “We’re too excited to be quiet!” one proclaimed. “But you’re talking through some of Stevie’s best guitar work!” They looked a bit taken aback. I figured it just hadn’t occurred to them that Stevie’s singing was not the main draw for everyone. At any rate, after that they restricted their exclamations to the periods between songs. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2022, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-public-formalities-do-you-favor/960920/28 "2022-03-11T23:18:28Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > When sitting behind someone at a sporting event, you don’t have be silent, but for the love of god, do not talk for the _entire game_ , especially loudly and about stupid stuff. Yeah, we used to have season tickets for an NHL team. It’s certainly fine to chat at a game, but some folks who are just having an unrelated to the game conversation? If you’re not watching the game, go to the concourse. One game we were sitting in front of a couple. The woman was at her first ever game. When the first on-the-fly line change happened, she gasped loudly and yelled “They just changed the team!” We laughed. It was funny. But after a beat, she added “When do the goalies change?” That’s when we lost it. > [@Grrr](#): > > Whatever happened to the friendly wave back when you let someone cut in front of you in traffic? I got one just two days ago! ---
**Author:** ![anny\_m](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@anny\_m](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anny_m)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2022, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-public-formalities-do-you-favor/960920/29 "2022-03-11T23:23:55Z")
When in a movie theater, turn off your phone the instant the main feature starts. If the movie is not rated G and you’ve brought an infant or very young child to the theater, when said child starts crying leave the theater. Standing at the back while the child screams only assures that half the audience can’t hear the dialogue. Years ago, friends of ours ranted about how unfair it was that a local movie theater would not let them take their nine-month-old into the theater which was showing an R-rated movie. They were very surprised when we told them we were happy to know that we could see movies at that theater without having to worry about the experience being ruined by baby screams. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2022, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-public-formalities-do-you-favor/960920/30 "2022-03-11T23:30:00Z")
> [@anny\_m](#): > > If the movie is not rated G and you’ve brought an infant or very young child to the theater, when said child starts crying leave the theater. Standing at the back while the child screams only assures that half the audience can’t hear the dialogue. An old theater I used to go to had a crying room. It was behind the rearmost row with about four seats and had a glass picture window plus its own speaker so the parent wouldn’t miss much of the movie. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2022, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-public-formalities-do-you-favor/960920/31 "2022-03-11T23:34:26Z")
At heart I’m a New Yorker. That sounds like the dumbest thing ever. Wait 10-15 minutes when I’m on my way to somewhere? I would never honor such a convention. > [@anny\_m](#): > > If the movie is not rated G and you’ve brought an infant or very young child to the theater, when said child starts crying leave the theater. Standing at the back while the child screams only assures that half the audience can’t hear the dialogue. I would say matinees and PG-13 or lower its acceptable. I agree with the rest. * * * When my kids were very little, we went to a 1pm showing of Fantasia 2000 and some old couple (Probably my age now) sat behind us and part way through the movie complained about my kids. At a Disney Movie. In the early afternoon. Pair of f’ing Karens before the term existed. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2022, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-public-formalities-do-you-favor/960920/32 "2022-03-12T00:15:40Z")
I like using “sir” and “ma’am”. I like calling people “Mr.” or “Ms.” and surname. In my experience, people who want to be on a first-name basis with casual acquaintances are usually salesmen, trying to con me into buying something that I probably don’t need. I have one good suit and tie. At weddings and funerals, I think it is better to be over-dressed than under-dressed. I liked it better when doctors wore lab coats, nurses wore white dresses, and janitors wore khakis. Now that they all wear surgical scrubs, they all look alike. When doctors and nurses hold my life in their hands, I want the illusion that they are some elite class. Especially now that most of them are younger than me. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Anconia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@D\_Anconia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Anconia)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2022, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-public-formalities-do-you-favor/960920/33 "2022-03-12T00:47:02Z")
> [@anny\_m](#): > > When in a movie theater, turn off your phone the instant the main feature starts. Even better, leave it at home, or in your car. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2022, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-public-formalities-do-you-favor/960920/34 "2022-03-12T02:04:16Z")
Did you want me to see my dad _never_? [Jk] I still have opinions about what sort of clothing is appropriate for office work or newscasting, but I seem to be alone in that so fuck it. As for pulling over to wait as a funeral cortege passes, I am quite willing, and will no doubt shed tears at the kindness of strangers showing respect for the grief that someone is suffering. ---
**Author:** ![Tzigone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@Tzigone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tzigone)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2022, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-public-formalities-do-you-favor/960920/35 "2022-03-12T02:24:59Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > As for pulling over to wait as a funeral cortege passes, I am quite willing, and will no doubt shed tears at the kindness of strangers showing respect for the grief that someone is suffering. As someone who recently lost my father - I don’t really care if people pull over. It had no effect on me when they did (or didn’t). I know some others like it, but I just don’t see how it actually helps anyone in any way. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2022, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-public-formalities-do-you-favor/960920/36 "2022-03-12T02:39:25Z")
I’ve read a few articles online by women implacably offended at being called ma’am. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2022, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-public-formalities-do-you-favor/960920/37 "2022-03-12T02:46:51Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > I read the thread title and the first thing that popped into my head was **Take off your MFing hat indoors _(not just at the table)_**. I started a thread a while back after eating at a very pricey restaurant, when a guy at a neighboring table kept his hat on. It struck me as pretty inappropriate - but the vast majority here said I was crazy and uptight. Which made me wonder what gave rise to this and other customs, and why I thought them worthwhile. I still think hats off indoors is a good thing (I’m not entirely sure why) - but I’m afraid that battle is lost. ---
**Author:** ![Redcanoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b487fb/32.png) [@Redcanoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redcanoe)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2022, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-public-formalities-do-you-favor/960920/38 "2022-03-12T02:59:58Z")
Traditions are just peer pressure from dead people. I only care about things that truly bother other people. Cigarette smoke in a public place when I can’t just move away, noise during an event where people are trying to pay attention. That kind of stuff. Whether or not you wear a hat in a restaurant doesn’t affect me. ---
**Author:** ![erysichthon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d07c76/32.png) [@erysichthon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erysichthon)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2022, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-public-formalities-do-you-favor/960920/39 "2022-03-12T04:36:25Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > Everyone seems oblivious these days to the fact that other people are around. All of my cranky-old-guy complaints are encapsulated in this one sentence. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2022, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-public-formalities-do-you-favor/960920/40 "2022-03-12T04:51:03Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > I still think hats off indoors is a good thing (I’m not entirely sure why) - but I’m afraid that battle is lost. The reason you are not entirely sure why is the reason the battle is lost ( or is being lost) 🙂 . It’s based on as much reality as not wearing white after Labor Day. Not trimming your toenails at the restaurant is a hygiene issue. A pretty minor one granted, but still there is a kernel of reality there. Not wearing a hat indoors is just tradition. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-public-formalities-do-you-favor/960920.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-public-formalities-do-you-favor/960920.md?page=3)