# What Radioactive Creature Do YOU Want to be Bitten By? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 8, 2002, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928 "2002-05-08T17:29:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/21 "2002-05-09T02:21:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by airdisc \* > \*\*Dung beetle. > > All that would happen with me is a wicked urge to enter politics. \*\* You’re lucky. I was going to do that but I forgot. P.S. I loved his outfit. We need a Fistie smilie. ---
**Author:** ![HoldenCaulfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/22d042/32.png) [@HoldenCaulfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoldenCaulfield)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/22 "2002-05-09T04:02:47Z")
I want to be bitten by a radioactive bat! Wait…it’s been done. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/23 "2002-05-09T04:09:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by HoldenCaulfield \* > \*\*I want to be bitten by a radioactive bat! > > Wait…it’s been done. \*\* By whom? Bruce Wayne wasn’t bitten by anything except for an insatiable urge to wear tights. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/24 "2002-05-09T04:18:03Z")
The Onion wasn’t the only one who’s done this [before](http://www.brunching.com/features/feature-otherman.html). ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/25 "2002-05-09T06:32:37Z")
Iid like to be bitten by a radioactive duck-billed platypus. I’m not sure what super-powers that would give me, but I’d sure look cool. ---
**Author:** ![Billy\_Baroo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/76d3ee/32.png) [@Billy\_Baroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billy_Baroo)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/26 "2002-05-09T07:46:09Z")
I want to be bitten on the ass by a radioactive parent. ---
**Author:** ![Efrem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@Efrem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Efrem)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/27 "2002-05-09T11:48:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by airdisc \* > \*\*Dung beetle. > > All that would happen with me is a wicked urge to enter politics. \*\* Robotman! ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/28 "2002-05-09T12:33:52Z")
Squid. I would look good with tentacles, jet propulsion, and colour-changing skin. Well, better than I do now, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/29 "2002-05-09T19:03:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Steve Wright \* > \*\*Squid. I would look good with tentacles, jet propulsion, and colour-changing skin. Well, better than I do now, anyway. \*\* Cthulhuman? ---
**Author:** ![HoldenCaulfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/22d042/32.png) [@HoldenCaulfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoldenCaulfield)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/30 "2002-05-09T22:14:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \* > \*\*By whom? Bruce Wayne wasn’t bitten by anything except for an insatiable urge to wear tights. \*\* I supposedly implied that I was about to say “Batman!” but then realized that there is already a Batman. I love Batman, though, and would rather be bitten by a radioactive bat than lose my parents (although didn’t Spidey lose his parents, too?) ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/31 "2002-05-10T00:15:44Z")
Otterman! When danger calls, I could leap out of my ottercave, slide down the hill on my belly, find the criminal where I’d flip him onto my chest and bang on him with a rock! Now _that’s_ justice… otter-style! ---
**Author:** ![AndrewL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@AndrewL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndrewL)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/32 "2002-05-10T01:04:22Z")
Radioactive chinchilla! Super running and jumping powers, super-hearing and the ability to see in the dark, and razor-sharp teeth that can graw through any obstacle! Only problem is that you have to roll in dust periodically to maintain your fur… ---
**Author:** ![DPWhite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d26b3c/32.png) [@DPWhite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPWhite)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/33 "2002-05-10T01:16:16Z")
Wabbits! ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/34 "2002-05-10T16:18:03Z")
Okay, so we’re assuming that the radioactive bite doesn’t kill you, but rather gives you superpowers representative of the creature who gnoshed on you? Godzilla. No question about it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/35 "2002-05-10T19:42:46Z")
A badger! Then, my enemies could taunt me by saying “Badgers? We don’t need no stinking badgers!” 🙂 Actually I’d pick a winged monkey, 'cause their cool! I like winged monkeys! ---
**Author:** ![Netbrian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71e660/32.png) [@Netbrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Netbrian)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/36 "2002-05-11T01:06:02Z")
A radioactive butterfly!!! Or a sea sponge could be cool. Regenerating from anything and all that. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Big\_Cheese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8baadc/32.png) [@The\_Big\_Cheese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Big_Cheese)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/37 "2002-05-11T12:10:43Z")
I’d like to be bitten by a radioactive roadrunner. that way I could run really fast. I’m one of those guys who takes about 11 minutes to run a mile, it would be so cool to do one in 45 seconds. Plus I could say ‘Meep-Meep’! ---
**Author:** ![ageless6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@ageless6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ageless6)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/38 "2002-05-11T12:54:23Z")
A sperm whale! I would lurk in the Atlantic, off the coast of New York, snacking on Steve Wright and his friends and waiting with my approximately 8 foot penis for Eve to come to the shore, where I would impress her so much she would be mine forever. See you at Coney Island, Evie. ---
**Author:** ![tavalla](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tavalla/32/89_2.png) [@tavalla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tavalla)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/39 "2002-05-11T13:15:44Z")
Dammit, **CalMeacham** beat me to it! I picked a radioactive cat too. I’d like to have cat ears and be able to do that cool “I meant to do that” look cats can do when they do something stupid. The ability to fall asleep in eleven seconds flat would be nice too. ---
**Author:** ![Yondan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/278dde/32.png) [@Yondan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yondan)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/40 "2002-05-11T17:34:55Z")
A Wienerdog! Just picture it! I’d low to the ground, so I’d be hard to hit. Streamlined for aerodynamic speed, and best of all, I’d have my NUCLEAR YAP! As Atomo, the Golden Wienerdog, no criminal could withstand me! And for a sidekick, I could have a huge, broad-beamed woman with pointy glasses and a beehive hairdo, a la Gary Larson, with a golden leash! YAP! YAP! YAPPITY YAP YAP! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928.md?page=3)