# What Radioactive Creature Do YOU Want to be Bitten By? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 8, 2002, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928 "2002-05-08T17:29:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2002, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/41 "2002-05-18T21:29:46Z")
**The Bassett Hound** I would have excellent hearing and sense of smell, making for great tracking abilities. I would be excellent at lying around and sleeping all day. I would howl all night, keeping my enemies awake, causing them to be fatigued. I would dig holes in my enemies’ gardens, causing them endless frustration. I would then drown them in my “super-drool”. However, I would have a really wrinkly face, long droopy ears, and stubby legs. People would always want to know why I looked so sad, and they would give me things to try to cheer me up even though I was actually quite content in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2002, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/42 "2002-05-19T03:29:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by efrem \* > \*\* > > Robotman! \*\* Dilbert, actually. ---
**Author:** ![Dieter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@Dieter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dieter)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2002, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/43 "2002-05-19T06:25:44Z")
Radioactive Ally McBeal Eat all I want, never get fat. I could slide under the door of the supervillians hideouts as well. ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2002, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/44 "2002-05-19T07:21:40Z")
MOTHRA!!! Well, I don’t think Mothra was radioactive, but it certainly was cool. ---
**Author:** ![Big\_Kahuna\_Burger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Big\_Kahuna\_Burger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Big_Kahuna_Burger)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2002, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/45 "2002-05-19T07:30:53Z")
A fly “Look in the sky, it’s Superfly!” ---
**Author:** ![LorieSmurf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a587f6/32.png) [@LorieSmurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LorieSmurf)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2002, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/46 "2002-05-19T08:23:27Z")
Superman can bite me in some strategic places, whether he was radioactive or not. MMMmmm…Superman… Ahem. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Efrem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@Efrem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Efrem)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2002, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/47 "2002-05-19T21:51:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Telemark \* > \*\* > Dilbert, actually. \*\* Damn it… your right! ---
**Author:** ![Opengrave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/919ad9/32.png) [@Opengrave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Opengrave)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/48 "2002-05-20T14:16:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DPWhite \* > \*\*Wabbits! \*\* Reminds me of that Rabbit from Quest for the Holy Grail… “He’s got huge, sharp-- eh-- he can leap about-- look at the bones!” ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/49 "2002-05-20T16:05:33Z")
All this “radioactive” stuff is old hat. Nowadays one acquires one’s superpowers from being masticated by _genetically altered_ beasties. I think I’d like to be bitten by a genetically altered **bookworm.** One that had just digested the contents of the Library of Congress. With my new powers I could become **Etaoin Shrdlu** , mighty defender of the English language! With my stupendous worm-begotten storehouse of knowledge, I would roam the streets looking for l33t slackers and braining them with my solid steel copy of _Strunk & White_ when they say stupid things such as “Who cares - you knew what I was trying to say irregardless of how I typed it.” _ **BROINK!** _ “Take THAT, you sloppily typing purveyor of hashed syntax!” “groooan… unh… It’s all so clear now. Thank you, Etaoin Shrdlu! Instant messaging is going to be different now for my friends and myself…” _ **BROINK!** _ “[sub]ow - jeez[/sub]… I mean ‘my friends and me,’ of course!” ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/50 "2002-05-20T20:03:04Z")
A radioactive bear, if I thought I could survive the experience. I’d get to ramble around having people being afraid of me, even if I slept all winter. Or a bee-- zip around and shit honey. But the sterility thing would get annoying. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/51 "2002-05-20T21:06:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by efrem \* > \*\* > > Damn it… your right! \*\* _ **BROINK!** _ you mean, of course, “ **…you’re** right.” **Etaoin Shrdlu** strikes again! ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928/52 "2002-05-20T21:57:54Z")
A barfly that would transform me into “The Outdrinker”. I would have the strongest liver in the world, and be able to out chug anybody. Tee hee hee [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-radioactive-creature-do-you-want-to-be-bitten-by/107928.md?page=2)