# What resources are available to help a pedophile avoid becoming a child molester? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [August 20, 2015, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312 "2015-08-20T02:25:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/41 "2015-08-20T18:37:56Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > Or institutionalize active ones. The recidivism rate is high and society should err on the side of safety for kids. Well, sure, if someone can’t control themselves we have to lock them up for the safety of others. Wouldn’t it be better, though, if we could prevent such crimes from occurring in the first place? ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/42 "2015-08-20T18:42:53Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > Or institutionalize active ones. The recidivism rate is high and society should err on the side of safety for kids. You seem to be posting from a soapbox much more than reading anything actually being discussed in this thread. If the goal is to stop pedophiles from acting out their urges with children, then “getting them to stop being pedophiles” would seem to be the goal - which is done with other “diseases”\* or syndromes or behaviors all the time. The problem seems to be that even admitting such feelings to a therapist can be a life-destroying step - even for a pedophile who has never touched a child. Certainly “abstaining” from any inappropriate sexual behavior is a necessity, but it’s hardly even a step one for treating and ending the problem. Painting P on their forehead and tracking them for the rest of their lives - such lives as the rest of society will let them have, so marked out - is not what I’d call a solution. So open the door to a realistic treatment regimen, without undue risk of arrest, stigmatizing or life disruption such as we so carefully try to do with, say, alcoholics and most white-collar drug offenders - or just shoot the poor, broken, dangerous, untreatable bastards. - I was using the term as it’s used for alcoholism, which I don’t regard as a “disease,” either - so whatever term makes you happy, here. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/43 "2015-08-20T18:44:11Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Well, sure, if someone can’t control themselves we have to lock them up for the safety of others. > > Wouldn’t it be better, though, if we could prevent such crimes from occurring in the first place? And just how? Today. There is no way to prevent it at this time. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/44 "2015-08-20T18:46:47Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Not necessarily true. Throughout history there have been many diseases and conditions that could be treated even without knowing the cause. > > If it weren’t so dangerous to the individual to admit to having such desires we could, perhaps, study people with these desires and attempt to figure out the differences between those who act on such impulse and those who do not and perhaps find some way to help people not commit crimes. You seem to just want to throw your hands up in the air and declare the matter hopeless. > So… what’s wrong with trying to find ways to make keeping abstinent easier? > > I mean, hell, we do that for alcoholics and drugs addicts by various methods. None of them perfect, true, but there’s no denying that many people with those problems manage to keep their problem(s) under control with help. > What does that matter? I hope we can find a way to _prevent_ such abuse rather than simply waiting for it to happen and punishing after the fact, after the harm has been done. And I’d like to be able to do it without locking people up for having bad \*thoughts \*rather than committing bad acts. There are a bunch of them im therapy in prisons around the world. Has the therapy been effective? And the difference between sexual behavior and drugs and alcohol is that there are real human victims. Victims have to come first in this equation IMO. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/45 "2015-08-20T18:52:09Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > You seem to be posting from a soapbox much more than reading anything actually being discussed in this thread. > > If the goal is to stop pedophiles from acting out their urges with children, then “getting them to stop being pedophiles” would seem to be the goal - which is done with other “diseases”\* or syndromes or behaviors all the time. The problem seems to be that even admitting such feelings to a therapist can be a life-destroying step - even for a pedophile who has never touched a child. > > Certainly “abstaining” from any inappropriate sexual behavior is a necessity, but it’s hardly even a step one for treating and ending the problem. Painting P on their forehead and tracking them for the rest of their lives - such lives as the rest of society will let them have, so marked out - is not what I’d call a solution. > > So open the door to a realistic treatment regimen, without undue risk of arrest, stigmatizing or life disruption such as we so carefully try to do with, say, alcoholics and most white-collar drug offenders - or just shoot the poor, broken, dangerous, untreatable bastards. > > - I was using the term as it’s used for alcoholism, which I don’t regard as a “disease,” either - so whatever term makes you happy, here. I certainly agree that treatment would be the best solution. But they would also need to be monitored for the good of the community. Do you know of a realistic effective treatment regimin? Not trying to trap you but I don’t have any expertise in this field. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/46 "2015-08-20T18:58:40Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > I certainly agree that treatment would be the best solution. But they would also need to be monitored for the good of the community. Do you know of a realistic effective treatment regimin? Not trying to trap you but I don’t have any expertise in this field. No, I don’t know what treatments might be available. I simply object to the pious nonsense of expecting “self control” to be effective, and more so to branding and stigmatizing those who might express the desires but have not acted on them. Once someone crosses the line and acts out sexually with a child, it’s a different situation and registration, monitoring etc. in addition to some kind of therapy and “cure” is entirely appropriate. But if some 20yo goes to a therapist and confesses sexual urges towards children, there should be an intermediate stage where the patient is not permanently branded, stigmatized, outed or otherwise prosecuted for what are essentially thought crimes. The risk is there, certainly… but having a choice between ‘silent self control’ and possibly being all but prosecuted for admitting the feelings is a really lousy option - like trying to get help for drug addiction when simply asking is likely to get you prosecuted for possession. ---
**Author:** ![Flyer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/flyer/32/7298_2.png) [@Flyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flyer)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/47 "2015-08-20T18:59:04Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > I certainly agree that treatment would be the best solution. But they would also need to be monitored for the good of the community. Do you know of a realistic effective treatment regimin? Not trying to trap you but I don’t have any expertise in this field. Perhaps everybody who visits a casino should be monitored, as well. After all, some percentage of people who visit casinos will end up with a gambling addiction. And some percentage of that group will commit fraud or embezzlement. ---
**Author:** ![aldiboronti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@aldiboronti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aldiboronti)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/48 "2015-08-20T19:05:39Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > in his book Journey into Darkness retired FBI agent John Douglas writes there’s nothing wrong with having the desires of a pedophile as long as you do not exploit children in any way. He considers talking to or taking photos in public of children, using them and children’s toys to masturbate acceptable. I have a lot of respect for Douglas but I’m troubled by his opinion that taking photos in public of children for masturbation fodder should be quite acceptable. It seems to me that there would be an enormous risk that any subject of such a photo could become a fixation for the pedophile who might easily be tempted to take things a step further. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/49 "2015-08-20T19:25:01Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > And how do you know its disease? Is there a pathogen at its root? Its more likely a condition. [A disease need not be caused by a pathogen.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disease) > [@Wikipedia](#): > > A disease is a particular abnormal condition, a disorder of a structure or function, that affects part or all of an organism. The causal study of disease is called pathology. Disease is often construed as a medical condition associated with specific symptoms and signs. It may be caused by factors originally from an external source, such as infectious disease, or it may be caused by internal dysfunctions, such as autoimmune diseases. In humans, “disease” is often used more broadly to refer to any condition that causes pain, dysfunction, distress, social problems, or death to the person afflicted, or similar problems for those in contact with the person. In this broader sense, it sometimes includes injuries, disabilities, disorders, syndromes, infections, isolated symptoms, deviant behaviors, and atypical variations of structure and function, while in other contexts and for other purposes these may be considered distinguishable categories. Diseases usually affect people not only physically, but also emotionally, as contracting and living with a disease can alter one’s perspective on life, and one’s personality. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/50 "2015-08-20T20:01:14Z")
> [@aldiboronti](#): > > I have a lot of respect for Douglas but I’m troubled by his opinion that taking photos in public of children for masturbation fodder should be quite acceptable. It seems to me that there would be an enormous risk that any subject of such a photo could become a fixation for the pedophile who might easily be tempted to take things a step further. I can’t say I disagree - and I too respect Douglas - but this is a bit of a slippery slope from sexual interest/fetish/private acts, through thought crimes to an assumption that they will lead to physical, illegal acts. I’d suggest that there are few of us who don’t have thoughts and fantasies that represent illegal, even highly illegal RW acts. ---
**Author:** ![Anny\_Middon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc79bd/32.png) [@Anny\_Middon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anny_Middon)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/51 "2015-08-20T20:16:52Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > A midget who is a fully developed adult will not attract a pedophile. It’s the pre-pubecent body that is the basis of the attraction. Some people suffer from a medical condition that delays puberty. Suppose there’s an 18-year-old whose body resembles that of a typical 11-year-old. Would sex with this person satisfy a pedophile? That is, is some of the attraction to a pre-pubescent body the fact that it’s forbidden? ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/52 "2015-08-20T20:39:48Z")
> [@Anny\_Middon](#): > > Some people suffer from a medical condition that delays puberty. Suppose there’s an 18-year-old whose body resembles that of a typical 11-year-old. Would sex with this person satisfy a pedophile? That is, is some of the attraction to a pre-pubescent body the fact that it’s forbidden? The empirical fact is that people who sexually abuse children choose to violate one of society’s strongest taboos, at great harm to their targets and great risk to themselves, rather than seek out relationships with little people or people with thin, undeveloped bodies. I think it’s safe to conclude that there is no evidence supporting the idea that these might be acceptable substitutes. My own guess is that the distorted power relationship and the idea of seduction of an innocent are inextricable elements of the mind-set. > [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > But if some 20yo goes to a therapist and confesses sexual urges towards children, there should be an intermediate stage where the patient is not permanently branded, stigmatized, outed or otherwise prosecuted for what are essentially thought crimes. The risk is there, certainly… but having a choice between ‘silent self control’ and possibly being all but prosecuted for admitting the feelings is a really lousy option - like trying to get help for drug addiction when simply asking is likely to get you prosecuted for possession. Is there any evidence of this actually happening? Of someone being publicly stigmatized or punished simply for approaching a therapist over unconsummated urges? ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/53 "2015-08-20T22:37:49Z")
I watched last year a documentary on this topic. It was in France, so I don’t know how it applies to the USA : -There was no existing setting for therapy except for sentenced pedophiles for whom such a therapy had been mandated (I read some moths ago that it existed in Germany for non offenders, but that the idea of importing the concept to France had been definitely rejected by French authorities. I can suppose that spending money on pedophiles isn’t something that is going to get you votes unless it’s used to fund lethal injections). -Most psychiatrists/therapists refused to follow such patients (and I guess that even mentioning this issue to a therapist is a very difficult step to make. Many people don’t even want to talk to a therapist for reasons such as depression or panick attacks, let alone addiction, so pedophilia…) -Some reported the non offender patients to the police (even though they shouldn’t). Basically it showed that there was absolutely nothing in place to adress the issue of a non offender pedophile seeking help (the worst case shown was some guy who had gone to both the police and a psychiatric hospital because he was feeling the urge to rape a specific child. Both dismissed him since he had commited no crime yet). The documentary was in fact following a woman who had funded an NGO whose aim was supporting victims of child abuse, and who, upon discovering this issue had created her own therapy group and hotline for pedophiles. > [@Anny\_Middon](#): > > Some people suffer from a medical condition that delays puberty. Suppose there’s an 18-year-old whose body resembles that of a typical 11-year-old. Would sex with this person satisfy a pedophile? That is, is some of the attraction to a pre-pubescent body the fact that it’s forbidden? Besides the fact that it’s unobvious to me that an adult whose body is undeveloped would satisfy a pedophile, and besides the probable rarity of adults with such a condition, it would require that such a person would be interested in having a relationship with a pedophile. Which seems to me an extremely remote possibility. Presumably, s/he will searching for a regular partner., not someone who will want to pretend s/he’s actually 11. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/54 "2015-08-20T23:30:54Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > And just how? Today. There is no way to prevent it at this time. Actually… _we don’t know that_. There might actually BE an effective treatment for some percentage of these people that is attainable right now but _we don’t know about it_ because even inquiring about such a thing, or doing research on the subject, is seen as a highly questionable activity. We do know that there are a non-zero number of people who have such urges but do not act on them. It may be that for those people those urges aren’t particularly strong, or perhaps those people can release sexual frustration by directing it at a legal subject, such as an adult or some different fetish, or maybe they are unusually strong-willed, or… _something_. Until we actually do some research, though, it’s all guesses. We don’t even know _how many_ of the has-urges-but-doesn’t-act-on-them people there are out there. Maybe 9 out of 10 people with those urges will commit a crime. Maybe it’s 1 out of 10. Maybe one out of 100. We don’t know. We do know that while the relapse rate is high it is not 100% - huh, maybe we should look into that. What prevents some of these offenders from repeating their crimes? Monitoring? Threat of prison? Other people keep their children away from the pervert once that perversion is known? What? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/55 "2015-08-20T23:40:43Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > There are a bunch of them im therapy in prisons around the world. Has the therapy been effective? Keep in mind that the ones in prison are the ones who lacked the self-control to avoid committing a crime. It tells us very little to nothing about people who have the urge but CAN control it and do NOT commit a crime. > [@](#): > > And the difference between sexual behavior and drugs and alcohol is that there are real human victims. Victims have to come first in this equation IMO. And you think drug addiction has no human victims? Apparently you’ve missed the carnage caused by the “war on drugs” and the drug cartels that produce illegal goods and ship them around the world? The maiming and death caused by drunk drivers? Yes, victims should come first but if someone _has not committed a crime_ then _there is no victim_. THAT is the problem with automatically jailing/monitoring/restricting someone who admits to pedophile thoughts or urges but has NOT ACTED ON THEM - at that point there is no victim. Here’s the thing - we allow adults who can use alcohol responsibly, without harming others, to drink. Increasingly, we’re allowing the same for pot. If someone has “bad thoughts” but never acts on them and thus “thinks responsibly” why should that person be punished? Likewise, if someone goes to a doctor or treatment center and says “I have a drinking problem” we don’t automatically charge them with drunk driving. Likewise, someone who goes to a counselor and says “I have these bad thoughts and urges” they shouldn’t automatically be charged with a crime, or branded, or labeled/treated as criminal. If someone goes to a counselor and says “I have fantasies about killing myself/others” we don’t automatically lock that person up, either - usually there’s some questioning to make sure that person is not an immediate risk to himself or others because we’d rather such a person seek help than tough it out himself. Resisting temptation and maintaining self control is helped by others assisting in every other aspect of human conduct, why should pedophilia be different in that regard? ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/56 "2015-08-21T00:33:28Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > I’ve never met a Catholic priest who would refuse to listen to, counsel, and comfort a sinner of any stripe, but I don’t know if the “seal of confession” would apply between a Catholic priest and a non-Catholic. Confession (or reconciliation) is a sacrament and therefore open only to Catholics. Priests might well listen to and counsel a pedophile but the seal of confession wouldn’t apply. Given the epidemic of sexual abuse of children by pedophile priests, I’m thinking it’s not a great idea in any case. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/57 "2015-08-21T02:13:23Z")
> [@Flyer](#): > > Perhaps everybody who visits a casino should be monitored, as well. After all, some percentage of people who visit casinos will end up with a gambling addiction. And some percentage of that group will commit fraud or embezzlement. I didnt know they were molesting children at casinos…taking food out their mouths maybe… ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/58 "2015-08-21T02:16:37Z")
Errr…never thought I would be a voice of PC but little people that I have heard about consider the word midgit to be degrating and insulting. I dont know why. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/59 "2015-08-21T02:17:38Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > [A disease need not be caused by a pathogen.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disease) Thank you for that. Ignorance fought. ---
**Author:** ![Habeed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a587f6/32.png) [@Habeed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Habeed)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/60 "2015-08-21T02:26:05Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > We do know that while the relapse rate is high it is not 100% - huh, maybe we should look into that. What prevents some of these offenders from repeating their crimes? Monitoring? Threat of prison? Other people keep their children away from the pervert once that perversion is known? What? Actually, the relapse rate is one of the lowest among all criminals. There’s a couple factors that make it much higher - such if the victim were male, a stranger, etc. But, as loathed as pedophiles are, they are actually one of the safest kinds of criminals to release from prison if you look at relapse rates… I can’t pull a source, but it’s something like 5%, versus over 50% for things like auto thieves. Should you lock up 19 pedophiles to protect a child from the 20th? That’s not my call, but the real numbers are absolutely nothing like public perception. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312.md?page=4)