# What resources are available to help a pedophile avoid becoming a child molester? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [August 20, 2015, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312 "2015-08-20T02:25:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/61 "2015-08-21T02:36:05Z")
And that is exactly why we need impartial, sound, credible studies. If we don’t know the actual facts we can’t make good decisions or good laws. ---
**Author:** ![AmanoJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AmanoJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AmanoJ)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/62 "2015-08-21T03:31:09Z")
This topic has been brought up for discussion in the past, among people I know. The amount of moral indignation surrounding it always amazes me, and it always ends up in the same place… with someone accusing someone else of defending pedophiles. You could take otherwise rational and logical people known for their ability to take an objective view and start conversations about this topic, and still end up with anger and name calling. I am not sure you could ever separate out the topic itself from the anger about it long enough to get anything done. I appreciate the discussion here, though, because I believe it is an important, necessary, and sad thing that needs to be discussed. I once saw a story about a company in Japan, I believe, who was selling sex dolls that looked like children. Of course there was extreme outrage about it (mostly from western areas, iirc), and the production was stopped. It made me stop and consider this very subject, though, and the viability of something like that as a potential treatment. Was it just something in poor taste and truly disgusting, as many people argued, or could something like that actually be used to help someone curb urges? I am not sure what I believe, to be honest. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/63 "2015-08-21T05:18:06Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > There was the thread about Marion Zimmer Bradley where some parties argued that people should never read anything by her again True > [@](#): > > and destroy her entire body of work. Bullshit. Unless you have a cite for anyone saying that? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/64 "2015-08-21T12:48:20Z")
While I did not encounter that exact attitude in that thread I have encountered it elsewhere twice - once at a SF Con and once elsewhere on the internet. It’s more common to have someone say the book with the child molesting in it be destroyed. I’m a bit baffled by some of the reasoning in that camp - what, if she hadn’t been a child molester her novel would be OK, then? It’s OK to write the villain as a child rapist if you aren’t a child molester, but not OK if you are? Why would the plot be more or less objectionable regardless of the real life actions of the author? It’s the same series of scenes either way, isn’t it? It’s not like it was explicit or a how-to manual. It’s clear what happens to Danilo but we aren’t given blow-by-blow descriptions. I’ve read news reports that were more explicit on details regarding abuse of children. There is also the discouragement of people encountering her work for the first time, people saying don’t read anything by her, etc. Me, I’d rather people be allowed to make their own decisions. MZB is hardly the only writer/artist/musician who is a loathsome person in her private life, if we eliminated the work of everyone who is real life scum there wouldn’t be much left to read/watch/listen to. You also get situations like with _The Cosby Show_ - sure, take it off the air to “punish” Cosby, but then _everyone else in the cast_, who did nothing wrong, suffers because they are no longer getting income from the re-runs. Income they might well need more than the more prominent headliner Cosby. Not really fair to those folks, is it? ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/65 "2015-08-21T14:17:08Z")
> [@clairobscur](#): > > I watched last year a documentary on this topic. It was in France, so I don’t know how it applies to the USA : > > -There was no existing setting for therapy except for sentenced pedophiles for whom such a therapy had been mandated (I read some moths ago that it existed in Germany for non offenders, but that the idea of importing the concept to France had been definitely rejected by French authorities… I believe that the German program is [Prevention Project Dunkelfeld (Dark Field)](https://www.dont-offend.org/). It is one of the few programs available for non-sentenced pedophiles that purports to offer full confidentiality. It looks like that they offer help for both non-offending pedophiles as well as uncaught child molesters, the last group via Germany’s lack of mandatory child abuse reporting requirements. > [@Broomstick](#): > > Actually… _we don’t know that_. > > There might actually BE an effective treatment for some percentage of these people that is attainable right now but _we don’t know about it_ because even inquiring about such a thing, or doing research on the subject, is seen as a highly questionable activity. > > We do know that there are a non-zero number of people who have such urges but do not act on them. It may be that for those people those urges aren’t particularly strong, or perhaps those people can release sexual frustration by directing it at a legal subject, such as an adult or some different fetish, or maybe they are unusually strong-willed, or… _something_. Until we actually do some research, though, it’s all guesses. We don’t even know _how many_ of the has-urges-but-doesn’t-act-on-them people there are out there. Maybe 9 out of 10 people with those urges will commit a crime. Maybe it’s 1 out of 10. Maybe one out of 100. We don’t know… This is a big problem in the research. One of the biggest barriers is the fact that setting up control groups is difficult to do - what are you going to do, knowingly and intentionally leave a few pedophiles un-treated and run the risk that they might molest someone? Now you’re potentially getting sued by a victim for not treating the offender when you had the chance, and you’re also dealing with the moral guilt of letting someone get sexually abused who might not have had to be if you had only done a little treatment. Ethically, it’s better to just not inquire into the pedophile-ness of research subjects. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/66 "2015-08-21T14:21:33Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > … > Likewise, if someone goes to a doctor or treatment center and says “I have a drinking problem” we don’t automatically charge them with drunk driving. Likewise, someone who goes to a counselor and says “I have these bad thoughts and urges” they shouldn’t automatically be charged with a crime, or branded, or labeled/treated as criminal. If someone goes to a counselor and says “I have fantasies about killing myself/others” we don’t automatically lock that person up, either - usually there’s some questioning to make sure that person is not an immediate risk to himself or others because we’d rather such a person seek help than tough it out himself. Resisting temptation and maintaining self control is helped by others assisting in every other aspect of human conduct, why should pedophilia be different in that regard? Right. If someone admits to a therapist that they are angry with their spouse, we don’t immediately arrest them for Domestic Violence. If someone admits a problem with coveting their neighbor’s goods, we don’t immediately file Theft charges. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/67 "2015-08-21T16:36:30Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Likewise, if someone goes to a doctor or treatment center and says “I have a drinking problem” we don’t automatically charge them with drunk driving. Likewise, someone who goes to a counselor and says “I have these bad thoughts and urges” they shouldn’t automatically be charged with a crime, or branded, or labeled/treated as criminal. If someone goes to a counselor and says “I have fantasies about killing myself/others” we don’t automatically lock that person up, either - usually there’s some questioning to make sure that person is not an immediate risk to himself or others because we’d rather such a person seek help than tough it out himself. Resisting temptation and maintaining self control is helped by others assisting in every other aspect of human conduct, why should pedophilia be different in that regard? > [@robert\_columbia](#): > > Right. If someone admits to a therapist that they are angry with their spouse, we don’t immediately arrest them for Domestic Violence. If someone admits a problem with coveting their neighbor’s goods, we don’t immediately file Theft charges. Again, point us to some actual cases where someone suffered legal consequences for sharing generalized feelings of illegal urges toward children with a therapist. What is the evidence that this is actually a problem? ---
**Author:** ![Habeed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a587f6/32.png) [@Habeed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Habeed)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/68 "2015-08-21T17:16:28Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > Again, point us to some actual cases where someone suffered legal consequences for sharing generalized feelings of illegal urges toward children with a therapist. What is the evidence that this is actually a problem? I read about a guy, admittedly an already branded sex offender who had been released or paroled, writing up his urges as a form of stories in a notebook he had on his coffee table or something. The police, probably checking up on him, decided to read the notebook and they arrested him for his depraved stories. This case made national news because while the guy might have been a sex offender, it seemed like a clear violation of freedom to arrest someone for writing his private thoughts down onto a piece of paper. It made national news and was a slashdot article a decade ago. That should be enough for you to find it. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/69 "2015-08-21T19:31:32Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > Again, point us to some actual cases where someone suffered legal consequences for sharing generalized feelings of illegal urges toward children with a therapist. What is the evidence that this is actually a problem? There are two issues here: 1. Actual risk that someone could be locked up for admitting to a therapist they had pedophillic urges and 1. Perception that such a risk exists that discourages non-offenders at risk from seeking help before they commit a crime. An additional problem is, given confidentiality laws in this country, if someone IS locked for up being a threat to others (which is what this would fall under) it might not be publicly accessible knowledge WHY that person was locked up. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Anconia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@D\_Anconia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Anconia)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/70 "2015-08-21T19:35:14Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > An additional problem is, given confidentiality laws in this country, if someone IS locked for up being a threat to others (which is what this would fall under) it might not be publicly accessible knowledge WHY that person was locked up. Do you have a cite for this? That people are “locked” up without public knowledge as to the reason? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/71 "2015-08-21T20:02:19Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > There are two issues here: > > 1. Actual risk that someone could be locked up for admitting to a therapist they had pedophillic urges > > and > > 1. Perception that such a risk exists that discourages non-offenders at risk from seeking help before they commit a crime. > > An additional problem is, given confidentiality laws in this country, if someone IS locked for up being a threat to others (which is what this would fall under) it might not be publicly accessible knowledge WHY that person was locked up. Is this an admission that there is no ACTUAL risk, but only perceived risk? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/72 "2015-08-21T20:18:50Z")
I don’t know - I have certainly heard OF that fear but I have not researched it myself. I certainly don’t have any solid information on this, nor do I know of anyone who does. I’m sorry - did you think I was asserting something rather than asking a question or describing something rumored but not proven? I’m not Snopes you know, not every statement I make is painstakingly research or meant to be an absolute declaration of faact. When I have cites I provide them. If you want to sponsor some solid research in to the various issues mentioned in thread maybe we’ll get somewhere but until _somebody_ does (which I can’t, barely having enough to support myself) NOBODY is going to have a “cite” or solid facts of any sort. That is another complaint I’ve heard and even expressed myself - _we don’t know the facts here._ Nobody does. If, by the way, YOU happen to have some solid facts/cites/stats on any of the above I’d be happy to hear about them. Definitely a situation where I could handle being proven wrong about something. As for being “locked up” without reason being disclosed - yeah. I had a roommate in college who was involuntarily committed to a psych ward. Nobody outside her family knew anything about why - her family did let me visit her and she told me herself, but the hospital wouldn’t release any more information than “she is a patient at this facility”. No further information released. That was even before HIPAA, these days I imagine they’d be even more tight-lipped. (If you must know - self harm via self-inflicted 3rd degree burns and suspected suicide attempt. I’m happy to say she did, eventually, get better although she’s still badly scarred and always will be.) Fact is, the public _does not_ have any right to know a person’s medical history, and involuntary commitment would be part of that. If the police are involved due to there being a crime either committed or suspected _that_ might be public, but yes, you most certainly could be locked up as a threat to yourself or others without any public announcement. They’d inform your kin, but your kin might not pass that information on to anyone, they aren’t obligated to do so. What, you didn’t know that? ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/73 "2015-08-21T20:23:21Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Is this an admission that there is no ACTUAL risk, but only perceived risk? If a pedophile perceives himself to be a risk such that he feels compelled to ask for help, it seems likely to me that there is an actual risk. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/74 "2015-08-21T20:50:23Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > If a pedophile perceives himself to be a risk such that he feels compelled to ask for help, it seems likely to me that there is an actual risk. I’m not talking about a risk that a crime will ultimately be committed, but the risk that speaking to a therapist about thoughts and feeling that have not been carried out nor planned as future actions. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Anconia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@D\_Anconia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Anconia)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/75 "2015-08-21T20:55:55Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > I’m sorry - did you think I was asserting something rather than asking a question or describing something rumored but not proven? I’m not Snopes you know, not every statement I make is painstakingly research or meant to be an absolute declaration of faact. Aren’t facts the _Raison d’être_ of General Questions? > [@](#): > > If the police are involved due to there being a crime either committed or suspected that might be public, but yes, you most certainly could be locked up as a threat to yourself or others without any public announcement. Acting on pedophilia is a crime in every U.S. jurisdiction. Therefore, it would be public knowledge as to why someone was locked up. Do you have evidence otherwise? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/76 "2015-08-21T21:14:11Z")
> [@D\_Anconia](#): > > Aren’t facts the _Raison d’être_ of General Questions? Funny, I thought _asking questions_ was the _raison d’être_ of General Questions. But let’s face it - if I stated the sky was blue you’d ask me for a cite then accuse me of moving the goalposts or falsehoods when I later qualified it with “of Earth, in the daytime, with no inclement weather”. Don’t you get tired of that game? I certainly do. > [@](#): > > Acting on pedophilia is a crime in every U.S. jurisdiction. Therefore, it would be public knowledge as to why someone was locked up. Do you have evidence otherwise? Right…except we’re talking about someone who has URGES and THOUGHTS but has not, actually, committed a crime. Are there some places where you could get locked up for admitting a fantasy involving pedophilia? I don’t know. Apparently there is some sort of concern about that. If someone has been or is or will be locked up for THOUGHTS rather than ACTIONS in the US we the public might not have any way of knowing that. But hey, feel free to prove me wrong and demonstrate that that is not happening nor will happen in the future. I’m OK with that. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Anconia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@D\_Anconia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Anconia)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/77 "2015-08-21T21:52:13Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > But hey, feel free to prove me wrong and demonstrate that that is not happening nor will happen in the future. I’m OK with that. You suggested that it was happening. Cite? How can anyone demonstrate what will happen in the future? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/78 "2015-08-21T23:44:09Z")
Again, you’re reading far too much into my posts. I have no idea why you insist on doing that. “Suggesting” is not the same as “declaring”. It’s OK to ask questions. It’s OK to discuss hypotheticals. I have repeatedly stated _I do not know_. Why don’t you read that part of my posts along with the portions you fixate on? You are correct - you can’t predict the future with any accuracy. Likewise, NO ONE case give a “cite” on a topic that is not researched largely due to a lack of funding for a topic that causes mass squick. Please move on, I’m not going to indulge your desire to turn this one item into a multi-page volley over the net. I’ve said my piece, if you insist on continuing to dwell on this you’ll be doing it on your own. I’ll be happy to discuss other topics in this thread but there’s no point in beating this deceased equine further. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Anconia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@D\_Anconia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Anconia)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2015, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/79 "2015-08-22T00:00:16Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > “Suggesting” is not the same as “declaring”. It’s OK to ask questions. It’s OK to discuss hypotheticals. Luckily, there are other forums to post suggestions and hypotheticals. This isn’t it. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2015, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312/80 "2015-08-22T20:55:52Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > While I did not encounter that exact attitude in that thread :rolleyes: So, when you said > [@](#): > > There was the thread about Marion Zimmer Bradley where some parties argued that people should […] destroy her entire body of work. you _knew_ it to not be true? :dubious: Or you just confused a very specific thread here, one you heavily participated in, for a nebulous “elsewhere on the internet”? :dubious: Or mixed up an IRL convention for that thread?:dubious: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-resources-are-available-to-help-a-pedophile-avoid-becoming-a-child-molester/728312.md?page=5)