I remember some kid pointing at my mother and saying, “Look at that lady sewing!” She was crocheting.
—
Chemistry: “Are you an organic or inorganic chemist?”
Linguistics: “How many languages do you speak?” Just English.
As the saying goes, “Asking a linguist how many languages he speaks is like asking a doctor how many diseases he has.”
More on the linguistics front:
When someone first learns I majored in linguistics…
Did you know French is the perfect language for love?
My response:
Really? I always thought it was Chinese.
So far, only three people I’ve said that to (…to whom I have so responded…) got the joke. Every language is the perfect language for love.
Another silly one to me:
Did you know that you cannot tranlate such-and-such word into English? It means (and then they provide the translation into English of that expression).
Seriously. Sometimes it seems to me that being a linguist is like being a Mormon. People say the craziest things to you in an attempt to find out “if you know about” your profession.
I’m a lawyer, and my sister has tried that “family discount” stuff on me a few times. I don’t mind answering simple questions from her in our weekly phone calls, but I refuse to do anything professional beyond that for her.
The worst was when our father died. He was quite elderly, and it was expected, and a little bit of a relief, actually. Anyway, Sis came up with what she thought would be a brilliant idea: “You can administrate Dad’s estate, and you’d do it for free!” Um, no, first, I’m not licensed to practice in Ontario, where Dad’s estate was; and second, if I administrate an estate (an area in which I do not typically practice), it’s not going to be for free. In the end, we got an Ontario lawyer to administrate, and the cost was very reasonable.
Sis has backed off a bit since then. Likely because I told her that if she or her husband or kids were arrested, I’d be happy to represent them in their first court appearance at no charge. After that, we’d negotiate something for subsequent appearances.
In a different post, @NegativeZer0, another lawyer, remarked upon how many laypeople believe that lawyers are wealthy. Not all of us are. I get by, and I do so comfortably; but I still live in a modest home, drive nothing fancier than an 11-year-old Chevy, and am reluctant to place more than $2 wagers at the local horse racing track. Where, just as @NegativeZer0 pointed out, my friends will occasionally suggest that I pick up our bar tab, because I’m a lawyer and they’re all rich, right?
Why is that?
Ouch!
Statistically, the demographic with the penchant for amassing guns are white males who live in the most right wing states. It would be reasonable to think you are one of them and that you share the politics of those state. For you to be a liberal (or not live in a right wing state, or not be white, or not be male) you would be in a minority.
It’s simply the most likely.
Moderating:
This is insulting another poster. Your subsequent comments don’t help much. This is not appropriate for MPSIMS.
Everyone, please drop this topic.
Do you get many Avenue Q cracks?
I apologize.
Funny, just yesterday I watched a video called something like “science versus the movies: Arrival”, and the movie’s consulting linguist talked about just that.
Not to do with a profession or hobby, but it used to be common that when I said I was from Alaska, someone would ask “Oh, my friend John Jones is from Alaska. Do you know him?” 
It’s a fairly long read, but here is a detailed analysis of the cockpit actions leading to the crash of Asiana 214 (San Francisco crash). The amount of detail pilots need to know about autothrottle and autopilot modes, and how they interact is amazing. It was difficult for me to follow, even with time to scan up and down the article and re-read it. And I’m fairly familiar with this stuff.
Quotes about just one point in the descent, which emphasizes the complexity involved:
…it’s worth noting that when the autopilot is disengaged, target values set in the MCP are sent to the Flight Directors instead of the autopilot. The Flight Director (FD) is an overlay on the pilot’s attitude indicator that highlights the target pitch and roll angles that the pilot must achieve in order to reach and maintain the MCP airspeed, descent rate, or altitude, or a pre-programmed track.
…as the plane was descending through 5,300 feet, we can note the following. First of all, the active vertical mode was FLCH SPD. The pilots had selected a target MCP altitude of 3,100 feet, and the plane was in a descent toward this altitude with the thrust levers at flight idle, which meant that the autothrottle had entered HOLD mode. The target MCP airspeed was 212 knots, and the autopilot was modifying their pitch angle in order to maintain this speed. The lateral mode was set to LOC and the plane was turning to align with the localizer.
It ain’t just pushing a button.
For me, my complaint is similar to others who work with computers. I wrote fairly complex software, for flight controls, guidance, basic robotics, and some encryption/telemetry. The majority of this was done with non-commercial operating systems, mostly Linux/Unix (-ish) via console apps (no user interface or windows). A mouse was a luxury.
I’m no more familiar with MS/Windows OS and web-stuff than my dentist. Yet I’m always the assumed tech-support for my family, and all I can do is google for the answer.
I work at a grocery store.
People expect us to be master chefs, sommeliers, have a personal opinion of every single product we carry, and to understand their bizarre nicknames for food products that only they use.
You want to know what aisle crackers are on, or whether we carry Tony Chachere’s Creole Seasoning? I can help you with that. I can’t tell you what wine goes with salmon filets, or where the “like fries for hot dogs” are, or what seasonings to use with chitlins, or whether Brand X cocktail weenies are better than Brand Y cocktail weenies.
Speaking again from inside the IT realm, but it’s funny how everyone who isn’t a programmer thinks that -
- tech knowledge is a hierarchy
- anyone above them in the hierarchy knows everything at that level, and below
- programming
So to give an example, a low-level help desk tech knows that programming isn’t my job, but they know I have programming abilities, so they assume I can help them diagnose a software package that they use every day, but I’ve never heard of.
it’s not a hierarchy, people. There are peaks and valleys. Tech support is smart in some areas where programmers are stupid, and vice versa.
Reminds me of the time when we drove to visit my sister in Chicago. We were getting out of our car in a parking lot, and a woman walking by saw our Kansas license plate and asked “Oh, my son lives in Lawrence. Maybe you know him?”
Let’s see. Lawrence is a city of about 100k, home to the largest university in the state, and about 3 hours from our house. Yeah, I think there’s an excellent chance I know your son.
I worked in prisons. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard some variation of how we’re the cause of crime, all of which would disappear if we just set up a system of rehabilitation.
I wonder of these people make the same accusations about hospitals. Do they look at a hospital full of sick people and assume the hospital caused all of that illness? And go around saying that diseases would disappear if we just set up a system of medical treatment?
As a bonus here’s a common misconception about my hobby. When you tell people you like playing boardgames, a common response from non-gamers is “You mean like Monopoly?”
I guess the answer is technically yes. But Monopoly was made in 1935. If somebody said they liked watching movies would you assume they were watching Busby Berkeley musicals? If they said they liked listening to music, would you assume they listened to Count Basie and Glenn Miller? Boardgames, like everything else, have evolved a long ways in the last hundred years.
Oh yes. I’ve worn many hats in IS/IT. But I don’t know all the shit anymore because it changes on a monthly basis. I’m lucky to stay ahead of whatever I’m doing. Luckily we have a good service desk crew that usually knows who to ask.
I’ve come to appreciate department heads that at least have a handle on who uses and does what. That’s their job IMHO.
At least those people are aware an entire state exists. Tell people you’re from New York and they assume you’re from New York City.
On behalf of the very minor members of the Retail Corporate Parasite Class (formerly known as “the suits”), I thank you and Broomstick for your comments here. It’s unlikely that we work for the same company but a lot of the issues you guys post about are very informative for me.