# What 's something you would do if you could make yourself invisible? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 8, 2000, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-something-you-would-do-if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible/24941 "2000-07-08T07:04:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Nika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ba9def/32.png) [@Nika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nika)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-something-you-would-do-if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible/24941/41 "2000-07-09T16:52:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Balance \* > \*\* > > I, too, would be someone’s invisible friend. Preferably an attractive adult female someone. Depending on how shy she is, I might mimic a female voice so that she wouldn’t feel so uncomfortable undressing… \*\* I want an invisible friend. ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-something-you-would-do-if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible/24941/42 "2000-07-09T21:07:33Z")
I would never have to pay for a sporting event again, I would always be at the best seat in the house - on the sideline - and the teams I root for would do much better than expected. \*“And it looks like a touchdown for the Cowboys and… Oh wait! The ball just popped out! The Giants recovered the fumble!” “That’s a routine ground ball to Garciapara that should end the game… Oh wait! Suddenly, he fell down and seems to have lost his pants!” “The Lakers missed every shot this querter, as the Knicks opened up a huge lead…”\* I’d fund my travels with successful wagers on the events I attend. * * * Yer pal, Satan _TIME ELAPSED SINCE I QUIT SMOKING: Three months, 19 hours, 5 minutes and 50 seconds. 3671 cigarettes not smoked, saving $458.98. Life saved: 1 week, 5 days, 17 hours, 55 minutes._ ---
**Author:** ![Garfield226](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Garfield226](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garfield226)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-something-you-would-do-if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible/24941/43 "2000-07-09T21:55:01Z")
> [@](#): > > I would never have to pay for a sporting event again, I would always be at the best seat in the house - on the sideline - and the teams I root for would do much better than expected. > > “And it looks like a touchdown for the Cowboys and… Oh wait! The ball just popped out! The Giants recovered the fumble!” > > “That’s a routine ground ball to Garciapara that should end the game… Oh wait! Suddenly, he fell down and seems to have lost his pants!” > > “The Lakers missed every shot this querter, as the Knicks opened up a huge lead…” > > I’d fund my travels with successful wagers on the events I attend. Good one, satan. Hmm. . . I think I’d just follow my friends around to see what they do in private. Naah. . . I’d go driving and freak out people, who would see NO ONE BEHIND THE STEERING WHEEL!!! ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-something-you-would-do-if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible/24941/44 "2000-07-09T22:09:44Z")
Considering how blonde I’ve been acting lately, I’d probably spend three hours in front of an automatic door, wondering why it wouldn’t open for me. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-something-you-would-do-if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible/24941/45 "2000-07-10T00:57:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ChiefScott \* > \*\*I’d be pink. > > And I’d be a unicorn. > > I’d be worshipped. > > Threads would be composed about me. > > I’d rock. \*\* Now _this_ is a concept for GD: worshipping and yearning for an invisible pink horn! ::clonked in head by flying garbage:: Sheesh! okay! stoppit already! Be honest, _no one_ one else pictured Chief Scott as a succubus or incuubus or whatever? One of those floaty, horny little presences that crop up in “religious” paintings? Only w/ Chief Scott, it’s more _Ghostbusters_ visits _Porky’s_. Sorry to derail the OP. I’d infiltrate all those closed, smoke-filled rooms where real decisions are made. But being invisible, knowing the truth wouldn’t help, because I couldn’t pass on the info. Veb ---
**Author:** ![Sebastian\_Trump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Sebastian\_Trump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sebastian_Trump)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-something-you-would-do-if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible/24941/46 "2000-07-10T15:27:17Z")
Well, since light would pass right through my retina (due to it being invisible) I would probably run around screaming, “I’m blind! I’m blind!” until I ran into something and knocked myself unconscious. Which would probably be pretty scary for anyone who happened to be in the same room. “I’m blind! I’m blind!” _thud_ “What the HELL was that?” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-something-you-would-do-if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible/24941/47 "2000-07-10T15:33:28Z")
Balance laments: > [@](#): > > I, too, would be someone’s invisible friend. Preferably an attractive adult female someone. What, one wonders, is considered attractive in an invisible female? “My, you have such a clear body!” “You look, er, smell, er, seem lovely today!” ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-something-you-would-do-if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible/24941/48 "2000-07-10T16:03:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Doctor Jackson \* > What, one wonders, is considered attractive in an invisible female? Animal magnetism? \ I was talking about a visible female–_I’d_ be the invisible one (which would happily do away with most questions about my own attractiveness). **Nika** , I’m now working busily on my invisibility techniques, just for you. Until I get it working, I could just hide until you turn the lights out 😉 ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-something-you-would-do-if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible/24941/49 "2000-07-10T16:30:01Z")
This reeks of IMHO fodder. Away it goes. ---
**Author:** ![Edwardina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Edwardina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edwardina)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-something-you-would-do-if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible/24941/50 "2000-07-10T20:51:16Z")
I think the ultimate question is, am I invisible _all the time_? Or just when I _want_ to be? _With_ clothes, or _without_? If I can have clothes and be completely invisible, I think I would be more inclined to steal. Walk into check cashing place, stand in corner until they close, conceal money under clothes, walk out, make deposit at night drop, send away for things via e-mail (charged to my Visa platinum card), send donation checks to suitable charities, etc. . . . On the other hand, if I don’t get any clothes . . . succubus, succubus, succubus. I would pick deep sleepers and give them sexy nightmares. _wicked grin_ What did you expect? Naked, invisible charity work? ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2000, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-something-you-would-do-if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible/24941/51 "2000-07-11T08:04:03Z")
Well that’s easy. I’m a photographer. So, assuming (and since I can I am assuming) that I can make my camera, camera bag, spare rolls of film…and clothes, I’ve been wearing clothes to long to change now…invisible too and visible again when I got home, I would, basically, become the greatest photographer in the world. “Her work has such a candid feel.” “She really captures an intimate moment.” “Her portraits are so unguarded…like what people look like when no one else is there.” or… “It’s amazing how she got that shot of the senator with the mafia figure/callgirl/farm animal.” ---
**Author:** ![SmoothOperator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@SmoothOperator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmoothOperator)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2000, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-something-you-would-do-if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible/24941/52 "2000-07-11T23:11:00Z")
If I were invisible and not married, I would definitely be a succubus. So many guys. Young ones, old ones, shy ones. I could experiment to my hearts content and you guys probably wouldn’t say a thing. Guy: I had the strangest dream last night. Other Guy: About what? Guy: Some thing was seducing me, but I couldn’t see anything. Other Guy: Can I come over tonight? The rest of the time, I would try to thump bullies in schools, whisper encouraging words to kids and teens and generally try to act like a guardian angel. At least until nighttime. :evil laugh: ---
**Author:** ![tshirts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@tshirts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tshirts)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-something-you-would-do-if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible/24941/53 "2000-07-12T04:14:09Z")
I think I’d spend a few evenings at the multiplex. Some shows I would like to see but don’t really want to pay for, in case they tank. ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-something-you-would-do-if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible/24941/54 "2000-07-13T02:37:44Z")
First off, any time somebody changed the channel on the public television here to MTV, I’d change it to something else immediately. Then I think I’d worry about whether people can see the food I’ve just eaten; half-digested sandwhiches floating across the room, besides making my presence known, would just be gross. I would trip on the stairs, but I do that anyway. I also think that it is much better use said power to impress women–rather than spying on them. While I’m not quite sure how this would work, there has to be some way… “Uhh, hey baby, wanna (not) see me…oh, nevermind.” ---
**Author:** ![Anti\_Pro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Anti\_Pro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anti_Pro)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-something-you-would-do-if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible/24941/55 "2000-07-13T02:53:16Z")
I’d follow my unhusband around at his job and every time he started to speak, I’d lightly hit his ear. However, if my laugh isn’t invisible this wouldn’t work out so well. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Mu\_Mu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Mu\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mu_Mu)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2000, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-something-you-would-do-if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible/24941/56 "2000-07-28T03:44:39Z")
What were you going to say? They locked your thread before anyone answered but dougie\_monty > [@](#): > > Safety first! 🙂 > For the most part I would dress like Peter Brady in the TV series The Invisible Man. You’re less likely to get hit by a car that way. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-something-you-would-do-if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible/24941.md?page=2)