# What’s the worst (as in unbelievable) lie you’ve ever been told? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 24, 2023, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-the-worst-as-in-unbelievable-lie-you-ve-ever-been-told/981593 "2023-03-24T13:17:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2023, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-the-worst-as-in-unbelievable-lie-you-ve-ever-been-told/981593/61 "2023-03-25T14:15:39Z")
> [@penultima\_thule](#): > > I went over to his bed, and with full parental concern for him and the mess created, asked “Are you OK, little man?” He looked at me straight in the eye, though this was slightly obscured by the Spaghetti Calabrese exuding from his hair, and oozing down his face and in totally sincere denial said “It wasn’t me, Dad!”. > > At that moment I realised that Bill Watterson (of Calvin and Hobbes fame) wasn’t creating a comic strip so much as writing a documentary on childhood behavior. Ah, the Noodle Incident is finally revealed! ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2023, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-the-worst-as-in-unbelievable-lie-you-ve-ever-been-told/981593/62 "2023-03-25T16:58:27Z")
When my son was around 8 or so, he asked me what pimentos were, those little red things they stick in olives. I told him they were worms. He was appalled and wasn’t sure whether to believe me. He ran over to my wife, who unbeknownst to him had overheard our conversation. He start to ask “you know those red things in olives…” and she immediately responded “Worms”. He screamed “No they’re not!” I’m not sure if he ever actually believed it, but to this day, 30 years later, he remembers the “Pimento Worm” incident. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2023, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-the-worst-as-in-unbelievable-lie-you-ve-ever-been-told/981593/63 "2023-03-25T17:21:37Z")
Why do people do this? There are so many instances here, and to me it seems cruel: taking advantage of someone’s ignorance. On the other hand, I don’t really think people are mocking their children or being mean to them. I guess I don’t see what the benefit is for the child of being led to believe something ridiculous, even for a short time. Sorry to be a spoilsport, and I’m not trying to single you out in particular: there’s dozens of examples in this thread. I’m sometimes excessively literal-minded, so maybe I just don’t get the humor. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2023, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-the-worst-as-in-unbelievable-lie-you-ve-ever-been-told/981593/64 "2023-03-25T17:37:16Z")
Well, sometimes the lies parents tell kids are helpful. My friend SD told me he wasn’t scared of needles, because when he was 5, he had to have his blood drawn (forgot why). At the hospital, his dad told him, “Son, they’re going to draw your blood. If it’s red, it means you’re human. If it’s green, it means you’re a Martian.” So SD looked at the hypo with anticipation and saw that his blood was red. At an early age, he was a Sci Fi nerd, and his dad caught on to that and knew how to use it to their advantage. ---
**Author:** ![Didi44](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47c2d/32.png) [@Didi44](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Didi44)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2023, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-the-worst-as-in-unbelievable-lie-you-ve-ever-been-told/981593/65 "2023-03-25T19:18:06Z")
This. IMO, it’s healthy. It helps develop a sense of humor and skeptical awareness that not everything others say, especially adults is true. Here’s super cute baby being taught that everything adults say isn’t a good thing: [[Official] Mom Teaches Cute Korean baby Yebin a Life Lesson - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kN29b1-hhZ0) ---
**Author:** ![NinthAcolyte](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ninthacolyte/32/13676_2.png) [@NinthAcolyte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinthAcolyte)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2023, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-the-worst-as-in-unbelievable-lie-you-ve-ever-been-told/981593/66 "2023-03-25T19:41:23Z")
When I was little my uncle John Paul worked in the hospitality industry in Las Vegas. He usually worked as a maître d’ or as a chef of the theatrical variety, the kind who would apply the finishing touches to your fancy dish tableside. His particular specialty was flambé cooking. I still vividly remember going to visit uncle John and going to an extremely fancy restaurant and John Paul serving us a baked Alaska. I thought he was the coolest person on the planet. (Uncle John was also _really handsome_ and _extremely charismatic._ A showman through and through.) As I got into later childhood Uncle John was having tough times. He was always asking family for money and was usually either homeless or living in bad situations. My memories of him were still of the movie-star-looking guy in the tuxedo setting fire to a dessert for us in a beautiful restaurant, so I asked my grandma, John Paul’s mother, “why doesn’t Uncle John work at the hotel anymore?” Nanny said: **“Las Vegas made flambé cooking illegal because it’s too dangerous to do indoors, so John Paul lost his job.”** I believed that until my _late twenties._ I was talking about those early memories with my siblings, who stared at me (their wise and brilliant eldest sister) like I was some kind of total putz. “Sam,” says my little sister, “Uncle John was on _heroin._” ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2023, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-the-worst-as-in-unbelievable-lie-you-ve-ever-been-told/981593/67 "2023-03-25T20:24:14Z")
> [@Dr.Drake](#): > > Sorry to be a spoilsport, and I’m not trying to single you out in particular: there’s dozens of examples in this thread. I’m sometimes excessively literal-minded, so maybe I just don’t get the humor. I feel the same way. I never lied to my siblings, I never lied to my daughter either. Although I did make a lot of things up. The difference was that she was in on the joke. For example, the ratbugs that nested in her hair when she refused to let me comb it. Or that the reason I was so much wiser than her was because I was a salmon. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2023, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-the-worst-as-in-unbelievable-lie-you-ve-ever-been-told/981593/68 "2023-03-25T20:42:51Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > When I was 6 or 7, my sister told me about a baseball pitcher who supposedly died because he threw a baseball so hard that it circled the globe and hit him in the back of his head. That’s just silly. He was [incinerated](https://what-if.xkcd.com/1/). When my brother and I were little, mom made a batch of vegetable-beef soup and we were turning our noses up at it, poking at the fat floating on top and asking what it was. “It’s protein. Shut up and eat it.” ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2023, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-the-worst-as-in-unbelievable-lie-you-ve-ever-been-told/981593/69 "2023-03-25T20:44:43Z")
> [@Didi44](#): > > It helps develop a sense of humor and skeptical awareness that not everything others say, especially adults is true. It’s quite possible to do that without teaching kids that they can’t trust their parents. ‘Don’t believe everything you read or hear; some people will lie to you, either for advantage or because they think it’s funny’ is a very different message from ‘don’t believe anything that I, your parent/teacher/etc., tell you.’ And it’s perfectly possible to fantasize with children in a fashion clearly distinct from getting them to believe things the trusted person knows to be false. ---
**Author:** ![mordecaiB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mordecaib/32/7725_2.png) [@mordecaiB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mordecaiB)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2023, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-the-worst-as-in-unbelievable-lie-you-ve-ever-been-told/981593/70 "2023-03-25T20:54:43Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > When I was 6 or 7, my sister told me about a baseball pitcher who supposedly died because he threw a baseball so hard that it circled the globe and hit him in the back of his head. That’s true. I recall his name being Charlie Brown. It knocked all his clothes off too. > [@InternetLegend](#): > > I have had several eleven-year-olds look me in the eye and insist that they absolutely did not do the thing I just caught them doing. A lot of people seem to think that kids don’t know how to lie. Sure. Just ask them who spilled the grape juice on the white carpet. Around grade 4 or 5, there was a guy in our group that lied about everything. Didn’t matter what it was, didn’t matter if we were all standing right there when it happened, he lied. Being really clever, we called him Liar rather than his name of Victor. He was still our friend tho. ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2023, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-the-worst-as-in-unbelievable-lie-you-ve-ever-been-told/981593/71 "2023-03-26T04:36:26Z")
One important thing I learned is never to ask a question when you’re actually making an accusation. You’re just begging a child to lie when you back them into a corner like that. ---
**Author:** ![scudsucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scudsucker/32/14101_2.png) [@scudsucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scudsucker)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2023, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-the-worst-as-in-unbelievable-lie-you-ve-ever-been-told/981593/72 "2023-03-26T08:14:18Z")
> [@Dr.Drake](#): > > Why do people do this? There are so many instances here, and to me it seems cruel: taking advantage of someone’s ignorance. Before I had kids, I thought I would feed them a few lies and see what stuck, mostly for my amusement. After I had kids my amusement was the actual facts that they recall. My 5 year old son knows what coprolite is (fossilised dinosaur poo - trifecta for young boys) after I told him about it when he was three. It is actually much more entertaining feeding them facts, and seeing what sticks. The only lie I can recall telling them is that I am not ticklish - and that is for self preservation. I used to know a pathological liar who dated a Russian princess, worked for the UN, was contracted to Mossad… endless impossible lies. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2023, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-the-worst-as-in-unbelievable-lie-you-ve-ever-been-told/981593/73 "2023-03-26T09:48:14Z")
> [@scudsucker](#): > > Before I had kids, I thought I would feed them a few lies and see what stuck, mostly for my amusement. I get that you changed your mind about this, but I cannot understand having the impulse to begin with. Ha ha, it’s so funny to take advantage of the ignorance of people who rely wholly upon you for guidance, hoping to shame and humiliate them. Never saw how this is fundamentally different than cruelty. What does it teach but to turn about and humiliate someone else in a vulnerable position, and to lie for one’s own amusement or benefit? Ugh. But then I don’t think practical jokes – same impulse – are amusing in any way either. The pleasure, it seems to me, resides in the feeling of power over someone. I imagine that this is also the foundational reason for pathological liars’ behavior as well. To manipulate the feelings and beliefs of others – perhaps those chronic liars become addicted to that power rush and cannot stop themselves even when it’s clearly not to their benefit. Which I suppose could be said about any addiction. ---
**Author:** ![scudsucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scudsucker/32/14101_2.png) [@scudsucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scudsucker)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2023, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-the-worst-as-in-unbelievable-lie-you-ve-ever-been-told/981593/74 "2023-03-26T11:20:38Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > The pleasure, it seems to me, resides in the feeling of power over someone I think this is correct. Once I had actual power over people I loved, I chose not to weild it. It seemed so petty to be fooling people who would take my word for granted, as the absolute truth. So I do the opposite and feed them facts. In exchange they feed me facts that they learn at school or from educational TV. It is a healthier outcome for both myself and my children. Plus I get to learn stuff… mostly about dinosaurs. And poo. ---
**Author:** ![SailorHG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@SailorHG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SailorHG)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2023, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-the-worst-as-in-unbelievable-lie-you-ve-ever-been-told/981593/75 "2023-03-26T11:48:51Z")
I love this! I think I will try it with my own four-year-old. (Currently the only time I “lie” to him is when he asks “what is in the package?”. Sometimes I tell him it is a box of spiders, which he knows is a lie so I’m not sure that counts.) Best of luck to you and your family. 😊 ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2023, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-the-worst-as-in-unbelievable-lie-you-ve-ever-been-told/981593/76 "2023-03-26T14:43:44Z")
The brother of an ex-girlfriend of mine is a braggart, likes to do pranks and play practical jokes on people all the time. He also lies a lot, but mostly not blatant lies, but exaggerations that have a kernel of truth and let him look good. Two examples: he, my girlfriend and I were at a party when I had just started college. He introduced us to a friend and told him “This is my brother in law EinsteinsHund. He’s an electrical engineer.” Note that I was only his sister’s boyfriend and we were neither married nor engaged, but I let that slip because many people don’t care much about the difference here, but of course I immediately protested “Well, actually I only just started first semester.” The other time he pulled off something like that was at another party when he introduced his wife, who was a cosmetologist, to some people “This is my wife. She’s a dermatologist.” My girlfriend and I sat right next to him and were stunned, but we didn’t correct him because we didn’t want to make an awkward scene. But his chutzpah was staggering. And he’s a fucking police officer by trade! ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2023, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-the-worst-as-in-unbelievable-lie-you-ve-ever-been-told/981593/77 "2023-03-26T14:50:04Z")
I have no dog in this fight but I’m curious if you feel the same way about Santa, Easter bunny etc. I was told santa was a lie from a young age because my newly religious parents thought it was sinful. Guess big scary man in the sky who can read your mind and send you to hell were ok though… I always wondered what it would have been like to believe in Santa. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2023, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-the-worst-as-in-unbelievable-lie-you-ve-ever-been-told/981593/78 "2023-03-26T16:53:36Z")
Santa and the Easter Bunny specifically: I’m Christian and loathe the commercialization/infantilization of Christian holidays, frankly. Christmas was about the Christ Child, and Easter was about the death and resurrection of Jesus. We celebrated Epiphany with small presents, hung stockings, and had a Christmas Day present-opening but there wasn’t a Santa involved. However, there was a tooth fairy. My daughter, I’m fairly sure, never thought the tooth fairy was a real fairy, though. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2023, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-the-worst-as-in-unbelievable-lie-you-ve-ever-been-told/981593/79 "2023-03-26T17:10:56Z")
> [@SailorHG](#): > > (Currently the only time I “lie” to him is when he asks “what is in the package?”. Sometimes I tell him it is a box of spiders, which he knows is a lie so I’m not sure that counts.) Yeah. I was quite a literal kid (I objected to the word “kid” in that sense; I was not a baby goat, I was a child!); but I knew perfectly well that my father had made up the Ishky Bow Wows, who were very very tall but had no width at all. When the kid knows it’s made up, that’s something else entirely. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2023, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-the-worst-as-in-unbelievable-lie-you-ve-ever-been-told/981593/80 "2023-03-26T17:24:53Z")
> [@FloatyGimpy](#): > > I always wondered what it would have been like to believe in Santa. I liked it. It was fun. Finding out was no big deal and usually treated as being part of the “Big kids club” and a rite of passage. My kids liked it, my nephews liked it. I base this on their desire to still play into the myth and have presents addressed from Santa, etc even after the youngest had figured it out. Granted, we all pretty much figured it out on our own versus being told by bullies on the playground or something. I know some people say that finding out was the Ultimate Betrayal and they could never trust their parents again, etc but that hasn’t been my experience with anyone I’ve known (that I’ve talked Santa with). It’s a big world though so I assume someone has felt that way but I think it’s generally a fun and positive experience. That said, I think there’s some significant difference between telling a story to fill a kid’s season with a sense of magic and whimsy versus telling them a story to just jerk them around about how the toilet is gasoline powered or every fifth president has to be born in July by law. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-the-worst-as-in-unbelievable-lie-you-ve-ever-been-told/981593.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-the-worst-as-in-unbelievable-lie-you-ve-ever-been-told/981593.md?page=5)