# What’s up with gender reveal parties and fires? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 7, 2020, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025 "2020-09-07T12:31:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Reply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reply/32/15952_2.png) [@Reply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reply)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2020, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/61 "2020-09-19T00:30:12Z")
I feel like the first time I ever heard of a gender reveal party was a couple years ago, and back then it struck me as some silly thing that rich(?) or young (?) or newagey (?) parents did. Is this a new phenomenon? Some sort of conservative backlash to transgender rights? I don’t understand why anyone would care to celebrate a newborn’s gender before they even hit puberty. How does it affect anyone? And what the heck is the link between them and wildfires? Color me confused… 😕 ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2020, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/62 "2020-09-19T00:49:48Z")
> [@Reply](#): > > And what the heck is the link between them and wildfires? > > Color me confused… - At least one fire (and I think more) was caused by explosives intended to put out blue or pink smoke. Dumbfucks didn’t understand the concept of tinder dry vegetation. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2020, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/63 "2020-09-19T00:52:12Z")
> [@Reply](#): > > I don’t understand why anyone would care to celebrate a newborn’s gender before they even hit puberty. How does it affect anyone? My understanding is that gender reveal parties are done _before_ the baby is born, after the parents learn from their doctor if the unborn baby is a girl or a boy. ---
**Author:** ![Arkcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Arkcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arkcon)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2020, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/64 "2020-09-19T00:53:58Z")
According to reddit, there are a variety of things happening with the “gender reveal.” In one hypothetical, the doctor reviews the ultrasound, or the genetic test, and seals the result in an envelope. The parents give the sealed envelope to a third person, who plans a party, with a dramatic reveal and surprise for everyone. Yay. Or maybe the parents are in on it, and the guests are the ones who’re surprised. So…how are you gonna do the reveal? Drop a single pink or blue balloon? Pull a string and drop a banner? Make a white frosted cake, with pink or blue filling? All good ideas. Or you know, buy a cake made that way. And hey, if an industry is gonna crop up around this concept, how about appropriately colored fireworks – who doesn’t love those? 'Course, there’s probably _something_ on the label about what sort of care you should exercise, local regulation to follow, limitations on manufacturer liability, etc. Just keep them away from your crouch: . > **[Viral video shows gender reveal flare hitting dad in the crotch](https://nypost.com/2020/09/14/video-shows-gender-reveal-flare-hitting-dad-in-the-crotch/)** > > He might not have to worry about planning any more gender reveal parties… Viral video shows the brutal moment a Massachusetts dad fired a canister of blue powder straight at his crotch during… TL;DR People love fireworks, and hate reading carefully. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2020, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/65 "2020-09-19T01:00:25Z")
> [@Arkcon](#): > > TL;DR People love fireworks, and hate reading carefully. - Talk about blue balls. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2020, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/66 "2020-09-19T03:51:49Z")
These started out pretty low-key several years ago. It would typically be a handful of relatives, some pink or blue cake, etc. But the performative nature of online life has caused expecting parents to feel increasing pressure to create a big production out of the gender reveal, preferably one they can post to Instagram. Enter fireworks, grievous bodily harm, and wildfires. Now, I could speculate all day about why these have become such a phenomenon but that would be in the realm of IMHO. Sufficed to say some of these events go quite far beyond the simple “blue or pink?” conceit and you can buy banners festooned with “glitter or guns”? and other rigid gender stereotypes. Just as popular as gender reveal parties are the videos showing the crushing disappointment of parents when they didn’t get the biological sex they wanted. ---
**Author:** ![glowacks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/glowacks/32/5548_2.png) [@glowacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glowacks)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2020, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/67 "2020-09-19T05:35:20Z")
When I posted about this on Facebook, I was informed that the trend was started by someone who had several miscarriages and wanted to be able to celebrate getting a baby to a point in development where the biological sex was determinable. The person informing me of this also then added that when she did manage to have a child, the child ended up non-binary (I don’t know the details and don’t really care, I’m just passing on what I was told), and now she’s very much against these types of parties. And I would guess even more against them now that people have shown just how irresponsible they are. As I said on Facebook, the types of people who feel like they should make a big production out of revealing their child’s biological sex seem likely to be the kind of people to both come up with the slightest excuse for a party, and to do irresponsible things at those parties. Thus, I’m not really sure if this concept of parties has actually done anything bad. If it wasn’t for a gender reveal firework, they probably be setting one off just to do it, because people around here set them off every weekend for no particular reason. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2020, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/68 "2020-09-19T05:37:46Z")
It is another excuse to beg for presents. Engagement, Wedding shower, Gender reveal, baby shower, baby’s first B-day… ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2020, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/69 "2020-09-19T07:24:14Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > Just as popular as gender reveal parties are the videos showing the crushing disappointment of parents when they didn’t get the biological sex they wanted. Yeah, seeing that video a few years down the line will do wonders for that kid’s self esteem. I’m wondering how responsible it is to be holding these (or many other) parties in the midst of a pandemic. Another thing I’m wondering is if the parents that set the forest on fire for their GR party will name the child “Blaze”. ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2020, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/70 "2020-09-19T08:20:17Z")
It’s on a par with the mega-productions some people want to make about _proposing_, let alone weddings. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2020, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/71 "2020-09-19T12:10:56Z")
No gifts, please. I’m a guy. ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2020, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/72 "2020-09-19T13:29:46Z")
One small point, which is the label “gender reveal.” The gender is not known. These are “sex reveal” parties. ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2020, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/73 "2020-09-19T14:23:48Z")
> [@CookingWithGas](#): > > These are “sex reveal” parties. It’s not impossible that some of those invited might, just, get the wrong idea. Hilarity might ensue. Or not. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2020, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/74 "2020-09-19T15:00:17Z")
> [@glowacks](#): > > When I posted about this on Facebook, I was informed that the trend was started by someone who had several miscarriages and wanted to be able to celebrate getting a baby to a point in development where the biological sex was determinable. The person informing me of this also then added that when she did manage to have a child, the child ended up non-binary (I don’t know the details and don’t really care, I’m just passing on what I was told), and now she’s very much against these types of parties. FYI, [here](https://www.npr.org/2019/07/28/745990073/woman-who-popularized-gender-reveal-parties-says-her-views-on-gender-have-change) is an NPR story about the person credited with being the first to have a gender reveal party, and the mother says of the child, “The baby from the original gender reveal party is a girl who wears suits. She says ‘she’ and ‘her’ and all of that, but you know she really goes outside gender norms.” ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2020, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/75 "2020-09-19T15:04:23Z")
Here’s a similar thread from a week ago on the same topic: > [@What’s up with gender reveal parties and fires?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/): > > First of all, I don’t understand why a gender reveal party is even a thing. Second, why is it they seem to be into setting fires? Another one in the news for setting off a wildfire in California — ---
**Author:** ![Reply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reply/32/15952_2.png) [@Reply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reply)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2020, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/76 "2020-09-19T16:30:16Z")
> [@CookingWithGas](#): > > One small point, which is the label “gender reveal.” The gender is not known. These are “sex reveal” parties. …which makes it just a tad creepier, no? “The baby’s not born yet, but they’ll be fertile soon enough! Please prep the skirt/suit/dowry/Target gift card.” ---
**Author:** ![Reply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reply/32/15952_2.png) [@Reply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reply)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2020, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/77 "2020-09-19T16:33:16Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Here’s a similar thread from a week ago on the same topic: 🤦‍♂️I think I even saw that headline then, and must’ve cached it in some dark mental recess. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2020, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/78 "2020-09-19T17:49:42Z")
> [@Reply](#): > > I think I even saw that headline then, and must’ve cached it in some dark mental recess. If you want you can report your own OP and ask the mods to tack this thread onto that one. It’s pretty easy for them to do. Just click the … icon at the lower right of the first post, then click the flag icon that appears. Then choose the “Something else” option at the bottom of the pop-up and a text box will appear where you can enter your request in plain English. Click the [Message] (aka save) button at the bottom. Easy peasy. ---
**Author:** ![Reply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reply/32/15952_2.png) [@Reply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reply)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2020, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/79 "2020-09-19T17:53:52Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > If you want you can report your own OP and ask the mods to tack this thread onto that one. It’s pretty easy for them to do. Wouldn’t that be pretty confusing for both sets of posters? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2020, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/80 "2020-09-19T17:54:51Z")
> [@CookingWithGas](#): > > One small point, which is the label “gender reveal.” The gender is not known. These are “sex reveal” parties. Doesn’t announcing you’re pregnant already reveal you had sex? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025.md?page=5)