# What’s up with gender reveal parties and fires? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 7, 2020, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025 "2020-09-07T12:31:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Reply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reply/32/15952_2.png) [@Reply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reply)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2020, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/101 "2020-09-27T16:14:25Z")
Gender/sex is insidiously ingrained in our language too, with he/she and son/daughter (that not all languages use). It’ll take a while for language to meet the leading edge of social beliefs. I wonder when we’ll see the first gender reveal party with rainbow fireworks announcing “its a they!” ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2020, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/102 "2020-09-27T16:39:44Z")
There is already a small contingent of parents who have a “theyby” - refusing to assign a gender to the child based on sex and using the pronouns “they/them” until the child shows a preference. I doubt this is going to become a majority choice, but I also doubt it happened at this same frequency 20 years ago, if at all. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2020, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/103 "2020-09-27T16:41:13Z")
> [@Arkcon](#): > > The whole “gender” reveal when we really mean “sex” reveal is cringy enough 'tho. Basically, people seem to be trying to co-opt the use of “gender identity” by making it a synonym for “sex organs” like it used to be. Overall I agree with your post, but I think you may be reading too much into this part. Prior to just a few years ago, “gender” was the polite corporate euphemism for “sex”, a completely taboo word in corporate America even if just referring to plain old binary XX- vs XY-ness on some administrative form. IMO the same word usage prevailed among many religious conservatives: “sex” meant intercourse and was not a word to be used in public if at all. To be sure, in the last few years the most forward thinking folks, for good or for ill, have really tried to distinguish “sex” = kind/shape of private parts from “gender” = state of mind. Lots of people aren’t buying that, or at least not buying it completely yet. You’re assuming / asserting their using the retro formulation as a backlash. Absent specific individual evidence to the contrary, I think it’s far more likely to simply be they haven’t changed their usage yet and given that elderly in-laws are often involved, they’re invoking the polite euphemism. To be understood correctly, one should always speak the language of one’s audience. IMO ideally we’d have come up with different terms for XX/XY-ness, state of mind, intercourse, and grammatical ‘gender’. With appropriate euphemisms for each if needed. And used them each non-overlappingly. English doesn’t work that way though. ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2021, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/104 "2021-02-08T14:43:13Z")
Sometimes, a gender reveal party can cause a _Ready, Aim_ fire: > **[Cannon used at Michigan baby shower explodes, kills man](https://fox8.com/news/cannon-used-at-michigan-baby-shower-explodes-kills-man/)** > > The cannon blew up, spraying metal shrapnel. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2021, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/105 "2021-02-08T15:32:49Z")
Note that was a baby shower, not a gender reveal party. Still, if one of the attendees is dying due to the stunts you’re pulling at the event, you’re doing it wrong. ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2021, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/106 "2021-02-08T15:52:11Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > Note that was a baby shower, not a gender reveal party. [Marks calendar with “The day I realized that I simply cannot read”] 😉 ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2021, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/107 "2021-02-08T17:58:25Z")
Sometimes in our haste to post to a fast-moving thread such as this one, we all skim a bit too sloppily. 😉 I always admire a good newspaper lede. Ideally they should answer the key who / what / etc., questions but also leave you totally hooked; wanting to read the rest of the article anyhow. In that regard, this lede is genius: > Authorities in Michigan are reporting the death of a man in an explosion that occurred during a baby shower. There is no way you’re not reading the rest of _that_ article. Bravo Darcie Loreno; ya done good! ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2021, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/108 "2021-02-08T18:12:47Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > Narcissism. Exactly. For some reason, people seem to be obsessed over being pregnant, and think that everyone else is as obsessed as they are (my granddaughter is my cite). Plus, social media whores just have to one-up everyone else. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2021, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/109 "2021-02-08T20:39:22Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > For some reason, people seem to be obsessed over being pregnant, and think that everyone else is as obsessed as they are (my granddaughter is my cite). To be fair, pregnancy (especially first pregnancy) is by all accounts a pretty major physical experience in its own right, and that’s just the beginning of the massive life upheaval it brings in its wake. The fact that some people get super absorbed in the experience is not really very surprising. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2021, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/110 "2021-02-08T21:24:04Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > To be fair, pregnancy (especially first pregnancy) is by all accounts a pretty major physical experience in its own right, and that’s just the beginning of the massive life upheaval it brings in its wake. The fact that some people get super absorbed in the experience is not really very surprising. Yeah, I have four children. We didn’t make a big deal out of it, nor did anyone else that I ever knew. But since the advent of social websites, it’s like a competition to see who can be the most stupid about it. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2021, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/111 "2021-02-08T22:01:51Z")
Well said there @Chefguy. But as to this … > [@Chefguy](#): > > … But since the advent of social websites, it’s like a competition to see who can be the most stupid about it. Actually, that applies for just about every “it”, not just pregnancies. Keeping up with the Joneses is a _lot_ harder when you’re “friends” with thousands of them. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2021, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/112 "2021-02-09T00:01:25Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Actually, that applies for just about every “it”, not just pregnancies. Keeping up with the Joneses is a _lot_ harder when you’re “friends” with thousands of them. True that. On the other hand, I was scrolling down my FB page and got a message saying “You’ve reached the end of your page. You should make more friends.” 😂 Shoot, the ones I have don’t speak to me all that much; why would I want more? ---
**Author:** ![DemonTree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demontree/32/8646_2.png) [@DemonTree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DemonTree)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2021, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/113 "2021-02-09T10:42:26Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > It seems like a 21st century, or maybe a 1990s & 21st century thing, but parents really CARE that you know whether they have a boy or a girl. They put those bands on girls’ heads to make sure you know they are girls, and do everything in pink or blue, now that they can know in advance what to buy. If you call someone’s week-old boy “she” they are livid-- my gawd, it’s in a BLUE BLANKET! Would they do that to a girl? It’s basically impossible to find gender neutral clothes for babies and children now. Even many otherwise genderless toys come in pink and blue. You can’t get away from it. Friends and family members want to know the sex so they buy cute baby clothes and other stuff. > [@Kimstu](#): > > To be fair, pregnancy (especially first pregnancy) is by all accounts a pretty major physical experience in its own right, and that’s just the beginning of the massive life upheaval it brings in its wake. The fact that some people get super absorbed in the experience is not really very surprising. Nine months is a looooooong time. You can’t blame women for wanting a few parties to break it up. ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2021, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/114 "2021-02-09T13:26:47Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Keeping up with the Joneses is a _lot_ harder when you’re “friends” with thousands of them. Makes Quentin Crisp even more applicable: “Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level”. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2021, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/115 "2021-02-09T18:08:26Z")
> [@DemonTree](#): > > It’s basically impossible to find gender neutral clothes for babies and children now. Even many otherwise genderless toys come in pink and blue. You can’t get away from it. Friends and family members want to know the sex so they buy cute baby clothes and other stuff. Puts us handcrafters in a great position for bucking the trend, tbh, since we can make things any color we want. New parents are really hungry for that kind of variety, IME. “Look honey, Kimstu made a GREEN blanket with tree and leaf motifs! I love green! And it’s about the first thing the baby’s had that isn’t pink!” ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2021, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/116 "2021-02-09T18:57:49Z")
I haven’t seen such aggressive gendering for boys. It seems like the only option for girls is pink. Maybe purple. Boys have a wider spectrum of colors that are considered acceptable, although they have nothing available in pink. I dress my son in dinosaurs and sea creatures because both are awesome. ---
**Author:** ![DemonTree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demontree/32/8646_2.png) [@DemonTree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DemonTree)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2021, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/117 "2021-02-09T19:27:47Z")
Not all the girl’s clothes are pink here, but they all have something to say girl. Frills or flowers. Hedgehogs and rabbits are apparently girl animals. Lions, giraffes and dinosaurs are for boys. Some of the boy’s clothes are a bit more neutral; I bought my daughter some onsies and vests from the boy’s section as well as stuff from the girl’s section. Overall, it’s depressing. Why if adults are less bound by gender norms are we enforcing them so strictly on children? ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2021, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/118 "2021-02-09T20:25:11Z")
> [@DemonTree](#): > > Why if adults are less bound by gender norms are we enforcing them so strictly on children? I believe that companies and manufacturers and marketers have discovered that strict gendering drives higher revenues. The same thing has happened with entertainment. In an era in which boys and girls both like superheroes and comic books, Disney aggressively designs and markets Marvel products for boys and Princess products for girls. Somehow, extreme gendering makes people spend more money. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2021, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/119 "2021-02-09T20:41:54Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > I believe that companies and manufacturers and marketers have discovered that strict gendering drives higher revenues. […] Somehow, extreme gendering makes people spend more money. Yep. The companies have seized on the incontrovertible fact that the children in the average family are about half boys and half girls, and have figured out that if you rigidly segregate their merchandise by gender, then families will have to buy more separate stuff instead of encouraging sharing and hand-me-downs. I’m reminded of [the novelist Shirley Jackson’s description](https://books.google.com/books?id=N9E_IacN850C&pg=PT530) of an item of clothing which had passed down from her son Laurie to his younger sisters Jannie and Sally: > [@](#): > > With colder weather setting in, and school once more in sight, I took out the somewhat worn pair of red overalls which had had “Laurie” embroidered on them and crossed out, and “Jannie” embroidered underneath; I now crossed out the “Jannie” and embroidered “Sally” on them. They were a little thin in the seat, and the bottoms of the legs were frayed, but the sentiment was there. That was published in 1952, btw. ---
**Author:** ![Retzbu\_Tox](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/retzbu_tox/32/11829_2.png) [@Retzbu\_Tox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Retzbu_Tox)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2021, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025/120 "2021-02-23T13:59:43Z")
Another gender reveal tragedy on 21 February 2021. The father was killed and uncle was injured when the “cannon” they were constructing unexpectedly exploded. > **[New York dad-to-be killed in gender reveal explosion, police say](https://www.foxnews.com/us/new-york-dad-to-be-killed-in-gender-reveal-explosion-police-say)** > > A soon-to-be dad was killed in New York Sunday after the device he was constructing for an upcoming gender reveal party exploded, police said. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-s-up-with-gender-reveal-parties-and-fires/920025.md?page=7)