An even better one that I’ve run across more than once …
“I’m an atheist.”
“Oh, my God. You’re a Satan worshiper!!”
“Ok … don’t believe in ‘God’ … what makes you think I believe in ‘Satan’, you doorknob?!?”
Whenever someone mentions the afterlife or going to hell to me I usually tell them, “If you’re right, you’ll have all eternity to gloat. If I’m right, we’ll never know.”
I recently had to tell my cousin and his fiance why I couldn’t do a bible reading at their upcoming wedding. I wrote them a letter explaining why I became an atheist after years of being a lapsed Catholic/agnostic, and why I felt it would be inappropriate for me to take part. They, like most of my family, had no idea about my atheism, but were understanding and said they respected my choice. Until then, they were worried that I was angry at them for some reason since I had been vague about why I didn’t want to do it. I asked them to keep it quiet, at least for now. My aunt (his mom) is also my godmother and would not react well to this news.
I’ve had very mixed reactions when I have told people. Some friends and close family have been understanding (like above). Some have said it’s just a phase, and think I will return to the church at some point (not likely, sorry guys). Some people clearly don’t want to associate with me anymore, or they try to invite me to their church. But I am very picky about who I tell.One of my closest friends has finally accepted it, but when his new wife tried to get me to read the Left Behind books (she does this to lots of people he says), we had to laugh and change the subject to avoid telling her. I may tell her one day by offering to read one of her books if she’ll read The Deathbird by Harlan Ellison and The Streets of Ashkelon by Harry Harrison. A fiction for fiction trade.
Qualify part of that, I am very picky about who I tell about my atheism in real life. Since when I post on-line, I am technically telling the whole world.
I have to chime in with the few people on this thread who have been confronted by “militant” atheists. I’ve encountered a few of these as well. Sure, I know that there aren’t as many militant atheists as miltant religious folk, but they are out there. And they are extremely unpleasant to deal with.
The thing I can’t figure out is - you’d think the militant atheists would know how obnoxious it is to be “preaching” (because they hate it when Christians do it to them) and yet they’ll do it back? Huh? As annoying and obnoxious as militant Christians (and other religious folk) are, you can perhaps assume that they’ve never been on the receiving end of such arrogant obnoxiousness, and therefore are clueless. What is the militant atheist’s excuse?
“Christian bashing” is crappy, just like “atheist bashing” is crappy. When I’ve complained about the Christian bashing I’ve seen to my atheist friends, I get an attitude like “It’s not the same”. Or, “Now you know what it feels like”. What? I’m sorry, bashing is bashing, and I don’t have to take it. Especially when I’ve never dished it out, so I don’t need to know what it “feels like”. I know I don’t take near the crap as some of my atheist friends, but when I do get crap, I don’t like it. And I don’t deserve it.
I am not the most enlightened person in the world, but I grew up with some wonderful atheist/agnostic friends. Obviously I haven’t been too obnoxious, or they wouldn’t tolerate me. (And they’ve conceded this.) So why is it “not the same” when I get crap, and why do I need to know “what it feels like”?
Sorry, I had to get that rant out. I have to say though, I never could understand why some religious folk get so weirded out by atheists. I guess they don’t get out much. If they did, they’d know plenty atheists, and they’d get over their ignorant misconceptions.
… then they usually say to me, “If you’re not serving the Lord, then you’re serving SATAN! There’s no middle ground!”
Fuck you, you dumb fundie fucks. You’re not worshipping Odin, does that mean you are a servant of Loki?