# What Saddam Should Have Said **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 16, 2003, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-saddam-should-have-said/219402 "2003-12-16T21:47:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-saddam-should-have-said/219402/21 "2003-12-17T05:25:36Z")
Credit to TibsTanglewood… “It’s okay, I had Subway.” ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-saddam-should-have-said/219402/22 "2003-12-17T05:27:58Z")
“Could be worse. Could be raining.” ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-saddam-should-have-said/219402/23 "2003-12-17T05:52:54Z")
I’d be quoting [shockwave.com](http://shockwave.com) … “You are Saddam, yes you’re the real Saddam. All those other Saddams can kiss your fat bottom. So won’t the real Saddam please stand up, please stand up, please stand up.” etc. ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-saddam-should-have-said/219402/24 "2003-12-17T05:56:08Z")
**What Saddam should have said:** At least I bought enough time for Osama to get away. or Hey, wait a minute, I’m just one of my doubles. **What the soldier should have said:** Spiderman wants his hole back. ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMule](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc348/32.png) [@MonkeyMule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMule)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-saddam-should-have-said/219402/25 "2003-12-17T06:02:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shodan \* > \*\*So far, IMO, **Bryan Eckers** has come up with the best line that the soldiers **should** have responded with (“All your base are belong to us”). \*\* Ok I almost choked to death you bastard! Don’t ever say something that funny again!!:smack: ---
**Author:** ![The\_Great\_Philosopher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3ec8ea/32.png) [@The\_Great\_Philosopher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Philosopher)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-saddam-should-have-said/219402/26 "2003-12-17T12:07:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Satisfying Andy Licious \* > \*\ ***What Saddam should have said:** > > Hey, wait a minute, I’m just one of my doubles. \*\* 😃 “So, who thinks I can go 44 days in here?” ---
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-saddam-should-have-said/219402/27 "2003-12-17T14:26:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Satisfying Andy Licious \* > **What Saddam should have said:** > Hey, wait a minute, I’m just one of my doubles. “_I’m_ Saddam Hussein! And so is my wife!” ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-saddam-should-have-said/219402/28 "2003-12-17T14:32:58Z")
**What Saddam should have said:** “Okay, now my turn.” :: crosses arm and hides eyes :: “One one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand…” Of course that would have only been fun if all of the soldiers had immediately run looking for good hiding spots. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-saddam-should-have-said/219402/29 "2003-12-17T14:59:08Z")
You don’t want to go in there… It turns out that I don’t know my ass from a hole in the ground. ---
**Author:** ![PbZep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/58f4c7/32.png) [@PbZep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PbZep)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-saddam-should-have-said/219402/30 "2003-12-17T16:16:00Z")
“Welcome to my parlor” **ShibbOleth** took mine, only I think he would have counted, “One euphrates, two euphrates…” ---
**Author:** ![the\_fascist\_hunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b77776/32.png) [@the\_fascist\_hunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_fascist_hunter)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-saddam-should-have-said/219402/31 "2003-12-17T16:25:30Z")
marine takes mallet and whacks saddam upside the head al-a whack-a-mole! get back in dere! ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-saddam-should-have-said/219402/32 "2003-12-17T16:40:38Z")
Git orrrf moi laaaaaand! ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-saddam-should-have-said/219402/33 "2003-12-17T17:51:06Z")
President Bush finally got to 100. Tag, you’re it. ---
**Author:** ![Husker\_Dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Husker\_Dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Husker_Dude)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-saddam-should-have-said/219402/34 "2003-12-17T17:57:53Z")
A couple of possible exchanges: Solider: Get out of your spiderhole now cupcake! Saddam: Spiderhole? Solider: Erm… just get out. Saddam: Ahahaha… Solider 1: NOPE. NO SIGN OF HIM HERE EITHER. THAT SLY FOX IS JUUUST TO CLEVER. Soldier 2: LET’S JUST GO BACK HOME. Soldier 1: YEAH, LET’S. Soldier 1 & 2: _stomps feet_ Saddam: Ti-hi-hiiiii Soldier: Freeze scumbag! Saddam: Aiee! You got me! _pats soldier on the shoulder_ Soldier: … Saddam: Tag, you’re it? Soldier: … Saddam: No? ---
**Author:** ![G.B.H.Hornswoggler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c67d28/32.png) [@G.B.H.Hornswoggler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.B.H.Hornswoggler)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-saddam-should-have-said/219402/35 "2003-12-17T18:01:35Z")
“It’s a fair cop, but society is to blame.” “Top of the world, Ma!” “That’s right, yes. Attila the Hun, that’s me. A.T. Hun. My parents were Mr and Mrs. Norman Hun, but they had a little joke when I was born. Call me ‘The,’ for heaven’s sake!” “No, I’m _Larry_ Hussein. Saddam lives on the other side of Tikrit, in the hole next to the Kwik-E-Mart.” ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-saddam-should-have-said/219402/36 "2003-12-17T18:13:14Z")
Mr. Saddam Hussein of Baghdad, Iraq, chose a very cunning way of not being seen. When we called at his palace, we found that he had gone away on two weeks holiday. He had not left any forwarding address, and he had bolted and barred the house to prevent us from getting in. However a neighbour told us where he was. And here is the neighbour (BOOM) Here is where he lived (BOOM) And this is where “Chemical Ali” lived who refused to speak to us (BOOM). so did the gentleman who lived here…(BOOM) and here…(BOOM) and of course here…( **BOOM** ) ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-saddam-should-have-said/219402/37 "2003-12-17T18:15:44Z")
Mr. Saddam Hussein of Baghdad, Iraq, chose a very cunning way of not being seen. When we called at his palace, we found that he had gone away on two weeks holiday. He had not left any forwarding address, and he had bolted and barred the house to prevent us from getting in. However a neighbour told us where he was. And here is the neighbour (BOOM) Here is where he lived (BOOM) And this is where “Chemical Ali” lived who refused to speak to us (BOOM). so did the gentleman who lived here…(BOOM) and here…(BOOM) and of course here…**(BOOM)** ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-saddam-should-have-said/219402/38 "2003-12-17T18:31:22Z")
There I was, a-digging this 'ole An 'ole in the ground, It was big and sort of round it was, And there was I, digging it deep, It was flat at at the bottom and the sides were steep, When along comes this bloke with full camo And an M-16, who scratched his head, Well 'e looked down the hole, poor demented soul and 'e said Do you mind if I make a suggestion? Don’t dig there, dig it elsewhere, You’re digging it round and it ought to be square The shape of it’s wrong, it’s much much too long And you can’t put an 'ole where an 'ole don’t belong. ---
**Author:** ![Xcalibur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/aca169/32.png) [@Xcalibur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xcalibur)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-saddam-should-have-said/219402/39 "2003-12-17T18:36:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NurseCarmen \* > \*\*You don’t want to go in there… > It turns out that I don’t know my ass from a hole in the ground. \*\* Now that’s funny… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-saddam-should-have-said/219402/40 "2003-12-17T18:37:53Z")
“Saddam, I think we should tell you…You’ve Been Scammed!!! You’re not Really deposed and the US didn’t Really attack. We’re the cast of ‘Scare Factor’ and here comes Shannen Doherty now…” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-saddam-should-have-said/219402.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-saddam-should-have-said/219402.md?page=3)