# What separates men from boys? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 5, 2018, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-separates-men-from-boys/819134 "2018-08-05T16:43:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-separates-men-from-boys/819134/1 "2018-08-05T16:43:38Z")
Personally: Stepping up to one’s responsibilities without whining, complaining, or thinking it makes you special. Taking responsibility for your own life, and not blaming someone else for it. Protecting those who can’t protect themselves. Conducting one’s personal affairs with class and dignity. Doing what has to be done, even if it hurts. Paying your own bills. Hmm. Nothing terribly unique to men alone here! Any suggestions? ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-separates-men-from-boys/819134/2 "2018-08-05T16:49:17Z")
Then why not title your thread “what separates adults from children?” unless all you want is a discussion of what constitutes masculinity. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-separates-men-from-boys/819134/3 "2018-08-05T17:21:32Z")
The cost of the toys; seriously. From hobbies to what we spend our money on that is the main difference I saw in my life. Yeah, responsibility and all that comes into play but most can be pigeonholed into one or more categories of the above. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-separates-men-from-boys/819134/4 "2018-08-05T17:27:33Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > The cost of the toys; seriously. From hobbies to what we spend our money on that is the main difference I saw in my life. Yeah, responsibility and all that comes into play but most can be pigeonholed into one or more categories of the above. No, that’s just a matter of having access to more money. Give a kid or an immature adult more money and they’ll spend more on toys. The sign of financial adulthood is when you spend your money on the things you need before you spend any money on the things you want. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-separates-men-from-boys/819134/5 "2018-08-05T17:37:15Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > The cost of the toys; seriously. Absolutely true. Plus, of course, the ability to buy them yourself instead of begging your parents for them. The “responsibility” meme is just code for “a more in-depth perception of the consequences of misbehaving”. And the dislike of government and the “nanny state” is of course a transference of the dislike of parental authority. If anyone has ever wondered why they grow to a ripe old age and still have childish inclinations, there you are. One of my favorite philosophers, disguised as a humorist named Dave Barry, once described one of the singular events of his adulthood as a married man with children and an enviable job as a syndicated columnist based in one of the nation’s top newspapers. It consisted of firing a potato gun off the roof of his newspaper’s building. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-separates-men-from-boys/819134/6 "2018-08-05T17:39:34Z")
Eh. Maybe the willingness to put personal interests second and focus on responsibility first (career, family, children). Other than that, not much. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-separates-men-from-boys/819134/7 "2018-08-05T17:42:50Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > Then why not title your thread “what separates adults from children?” unless all you want is a discussion of what constitutes masculinity. Because that’s not a saying? ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-separates-men-from-boys/819134/8 "2018-08-05T17:49:17Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > One of my favorite philosophers, disguised as a humorist named Dave Barry, once described one of the singular events of his adulthood as a married man with children and an enviable job as a syndicated columnist based in one of the nation’s top newspapers. It consisted of firing a potato gun off the roof of his newspaper’s building. But, note that [Barry drew a distinction between “men” and “guys.”](http://swcta.net/moore/files/2012/10/Guys-vs-Men-Barry.pdf) ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-separates-men-from-boys/819134/9 "2018-08-05T17:57:19Z")
According to jokes about various group\* x\*, [a crowbar](https://www.google.com/search?q=Separate+men+boys+crowbar&hl=en&sa=X&as_q=&spell=1&ved=0ahUKEwjEz83SvNbcAhUBY6wKHe09CmoQBQgKKAA). (As for the original question, asking what differentiates one vaguely defined group from another vaguely defined group is going to generate at least as many answers as there are posters.) ---
**Author:** ![Cyros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@Cyros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyros)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-separates-men-from-boys/819134/10 "2018-08-05T19:52:54Z")
According to one person I know it is owning and wearing shoes that aren’t sneakers. I told her I thought it was not allowing others to dictate my worth based on sartorial choices. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-separates-men-from-boys/819134/11 "2018-08-05T20:16:25Z")
The very brief period that marks the transition is when your erections last an appropriate length of time. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-separates-men-from-boys/819134/12 "2018-08-05T20:58:11Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > Eh. Maybe the willingness to put personal interests second and focus on responsibility first (career, family, children). Except that all three of those responsibilities are at least partly voluntary. No one NEEDS to have a family or children, and what constitutes a “career” anyway? I have a job most people consider a career, but I’ve got a suspicion that my parents don’t consider me an “adult” because I’ve never been married, have no kids, and don’t own a house, mostly all through my own free will. I suspect kids/marriage/house = adulthood to a great many people, regardless of age or maturity. Can’t put my finger on why I think that, it’s just a feeling. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-separates-men-from-boys/819134/13 "2018-08-05T20:59:34Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > Then why not title your thread “what separates adults from children?” unless all you want is a discussion of what constitutes masculinity. Nothing wrong with either one, or both at once. This is MPSIMS, not Great Debates. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-separates-men-from-boys/819134/14 "2018-08-05T21:11:23Z")
> [@Lizard](#): > > I suspect kids/marriage/house = adulthood to a great many people, regardless of age or maturity. Can’t put my finger on why I think that, it’s just a feeling. Maybe because there’s a maturity progression from someone else being responsible for you, to you being responsible for yourself, to you being responsible for something or someone else in addition to just yourself. Taking on commitments like those, _and successfully following through on them_, takes a certain level of maturity. That doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with not deciding not to take on those commitments in the first place, but it might mean you’re less “mature” than those who do, or it might just make it harder for people to judge how mature you are. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-separates-men-from-boys/819134/15 "2018-08-05T21:18:57Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > Maybe because there’s a maturity progression from someone else being responsible for you, to you being responsible for yourself, to you being responsible for something or someone else in addition to just yourself. > > Taking on commitments like those, _and successfully following through on them_, takes a certain level of maturity. That doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with not deciding not to take on those commitments in the first place, but it might mean you’re less “mature” than those who do, or it might just make it harder for people to judge how mature you are. “Successfully following through on them” is a very nebulous concept. Who is to say when that occurs? Or how to tell? Is it when all the kids are 18? If they all graduate from college? If none ever go to jail? That’s why I think that entire concept is just cultural propaganda. It’s just an easy way to judge someone by some standard that at its heart is random. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-separates-men-from-boys/819134/16 "2018-08-05T21:27:41Z")
The most common woman’s perspective? Very, very little. Most of the women I know expect very little out of men in terms of things like impulse control, taking emotional responsibility, cleaning up after themselves, taking care of others, and other markers that women think of signs of adulthood. Those that do, learn not to. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-separates-men-from-boys/819134/17 "2018-08-05T21:38:15Z")
A child wants to eat just hamburgers and pizza every day for a week. I actually did that a few months ago, but it was because I had to use up some ground beef and mozzarella before they went bad. > [@Ulfreida](#): > > The most common woman’s perspective? > > Very, very little. > > Most of the women I know expect very little out of men in terms of things like impulse control, taking emotional responsibility, cleaning up after themselves, taking care of others, and other markers that women think of signs of adulthood. Those that do, learn not to. That’s rather insulting. ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-separates-men-from-boys/819134/18 "2018-08-05T22:05:33Z")
That’s _extremely_ insulting. Shall I also say that most men I know expect very little from women in terms of intelligence, rational thinking, and driving ability? No, I can’t say that because most men I know _don’t_ think that way. But perhaps the men I know are more mature than the women Ulfreida knows. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-separates-men-from-boys/819134/19 "2018-08-05T22:10:30Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > The most common woman’s perspective? > > Very, very little. > > Most of the women I know expect very little out of men in terms of things like impulse control, taking emotional responsibility, cleaning up after themselves, taking care of others, and other markers that women think of signs of adulthood. Those that do, learn not to. I think of them as signs of adulthood in women and men, and just as high a percentage of men meet them in my life as women. ---
**Author:** ![jaycat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaycat/32/3015_2.png) [@jaycat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jaycat)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-separates-men-from-boys/819134/20 "2018-08-05T22:24:22Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > The most common woman’s perspective? > > Very, very little. > > Most of the women I know expect very little out of men in terms of things like impulse control, taking emotional responsibility, cleaning up after themselves, taking care of others, and other markers that women think of signs of adulthood. Those that do, learn not to. I guess I’m fortunate that the women in my life are not the most common ones. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-separates-men-from-boys/819134.md?page=2)