# What sexual acts between consenting adults should be illegal? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [May 14, 2016, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sexual-acts-between-consenting-adults-should-be-illegal/754731 "2016-05-14T00:21:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2016, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sexual-acts-between-consenting-adults-should-be-illegal/754731/81 "2016-05-17T00:29:18Z")
Regardless what you and your mates think, the word Abo has come to be regarded as a slur by a large number of people. Similarly, there are places where Paki is just short for Pakistani and places where Paki is an extreme slur. The one Murri and two Noongars whom I know, (none of whom is under 50 years old), consider Abo a slur (and have since they were children before Political Correctness was an issue). In the interest of not inciting other posters to attack you for your language, it is more appropriate that you simply avoid using the word on the SDMB. [/Moderating] ---
**Author:** ![T.M](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ad7895/32.png) [@T.M](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/T.M)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2016, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sexual-acts-between-consenting-adults-should-be-illegal/754731/82 "2016-05-17T09:19:52Z")
> [@TimeWinder](#): > > That’s the toughest quandary right there, I think. > > On the one hand, you’re protecting people whose ability to consent is in question, particularly in a world full of folks that will take advantage of such people. On the other, you’re basically saying that mentally ill people are forever legally prohibited from interpersonal sexual contact, which I’d argue might be the greater harm. > > (There’s also the problem that “mentally ill” is a huge spectrum, and there’s really unlikely to be only one “right” answer across the whole thing.) When the case goes to court that is the time when the debate on the handicapped persons ability to decide on having a sexual relationship. The protection of the rights of an individual must come first ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2016, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sexual-acts-between-consenting-adults-should-be-illegal/754731/83 "2016-05-17T15:33:35Z")
> [@TimeWinder](#): > > That’s the toughest quandary right there, I think. > > On the one hand, you’re protecting people whose ability to consent is in question, particularly in a world full of folks that will take advantage of such people. On the other, you’re basically saying that mentally ill people are forever legally prohibited from interpersonal sexual contact, which I’d argue might be the greater harm. > > (There’s also the problem that “mentally ill” is a huge spectrum, and there’s really unlikely to be only one “right” answer across the whole thing.) It is indeed a wide spectrum, with a wide choice of solutions, so there’s no single answer (this goes for people with intellectual disabilities as well as the mentally ill). ---
**Author:** ![yo\_han\_go](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yo_han_go/32/130_2.png) [@yo\_han\_go](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yo_han_go)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2016, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sexual-acts-between-consenting-adults-should-be-illegal/754731/84 "2016-05-18T12:14:50Z")
Massaging your partner with natural coconut oil in private is cool. Massaging your partner with herring oil in public is not. Everything in between in a mostly not cool. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2016, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sexual-acts-between-consenting-adults-should-be-illegal/754731/85 "2016-05-20T00:29:06Z")
> [@T.M](#): > > The problem here is when things go wrong, with strangulation would the charge be manslaughter or as the victim was a willing participant would the charge be assisted suicide, many things can go wrong with bondage and gagging especially if taking place in a dungeon or cellar Here’s a rather detailed paper on the subject of BDSM and consent. I don’t have an opinion on the subject - but while reading this thread I remembered reading an interesting abstract on the subject that cited some case law, and I managed to find it. So, if anyone is interested **Sex is not a Sport -Consent and Violence in Criminal Law** [https://www.researchgate.net/publication/228136346\_Sex\_is\_Not\_a\_Sport\_Consent\_and\_Violence\_in\_Criminal\_Law](https://www.researchgate.net/publication/228136346_Sex_is_Not_a_Sport_Consent_and_Violence_in_Criminal_Law) ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2016, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sexual-acts-between-consenting-adults-should-be-illegal/754731/86 "2016-05-20T16:03:30Z")
I can’t come up with any that I’d say should not be OK between consenting adults. If other people become involved as spectators (including any form of being subjected to sensory input pertaining to the activities in question) they have to be consenting as well (see above post about massaging one’s partner with herring oil in public). The adults have to be competent adults, and I admit that competence is a complex notion not easily unpacked to everyone’s satisfaction; I gravitate towards a very high standard for proof of incompetence myself. You want to have erotic experiences that include your partner slicing off and eating some of your body parts? Sure, but not near my dining room table. You and your daughter and your grandpa want to do a threesome? Enjoy! Like to have your partner wrap coils of barbed wire around you and the tree to which you are being bound before coming at you with the cattle prod, bowie knife, and whipped cream? Not me, I hate the sticky feeling of whipped cream on my skin, but hey, more power to you! ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2016, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sexual-acts-between-consenting-adults-should-be-illegal/754731/87 "2016-05-20T16:40:43Z")
> [@Commodore](#): > > Degenerates are harmful to a nation, you don’t want your children educated or to make a safe State where people are up right and honest diligent and respectful. Some of my best friends are degenerates. What do you plan to do to my friends?:dubious: ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2016, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sexual-acts-between-consenting-adults-should-be-illegal/754731/88 "2016-05-20T16:54:25Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Some of my best friends are degenerates. What do you plan to do to my friends?:dubious: _looks at SDMB friends list_ Oh dear. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sexual-acts-between-consenting-adults-should-be-illegal/754731.md?page=4)