# What shall be painted on my naked rear end? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 19, 2001, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-shall-be-painted-on-my-naked-rear-end/73039 "2001-07-19T10:54:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-shall-be-painted-on-my-naked-rear-end/73039/21 "2001-07-19T23:56:52Z")
If you really want to be nerdy there’s the NFPA Hazard Diamond - you can even pick your own hazard codes. For Naked Ass I suggest 2,2,2 - or 2,2,4 if your prior meal included beans, cabbage, or the like. ---
**Author:** ![Kipper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Kipper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kipper)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-shall-be-painted-on-my-naked-rear-end/73039/22 "2001-07-20T08:11:59Z")
There was a young man from Australia Who painted his arse like a Dalia The picture was fine The colour devine But the smell, alas, was a failure. ---
**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-shall-be-painted-on-my-naked-rear-end/73039/23 "2001-07-20T09:05:54Z")
“Delivery Entrance” “high school diploma dispenser” ---
**Author:** ![Spiny\_Norman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Spiny\_Norman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiny_Norman)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-shall-be-painted-on-my-naked-rear-end/73039/24 "2001-07-20T10:48:42Z")
> [@](#): > > Remember, they must be simple enough for Mrs. B to draw, so no reproductions of Mona Lisa… Damn, there goes my suggestion for a rendition of “The last supper” with Judas Iskariot in the middle… S. Norman ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-shall-be-painted-on-my-naked-rear-end/73039/25 "2001-07-20T15:06:50Z")
Nice! Now I have to decide among the list… I’ll let you know what gets picked on Monday. ---
**Author:** ![gorkamorka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/87869e/32.png) [@gorkamorka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gorkamorka)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2001, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-shall-be-painted-on-my-naked-rear-end/73039/26 "2001-07-21T06:36:43Z")
“NO GERBILS” ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2001, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-shall-be-painted-on-my-naked-rear-end/73039/27 "2001-07-21T08:27:24Z")
I know this doesn’t answer your query, but I just gotta say it - that is the most godawful website I have seen in years!! Goooood golly. Okay, here’s my idea: lots of grass, and a bunny rabbit’s cottontail disappearing down the crack of your butt. ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2001, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-shall-be-painted-on-my-naked-rear-end/73039/28 "2001-07-23T15:29:48Z")
Whew, running on sand is hard work. Your shoes accumulate so much water and muck that it feels like the run is about twice as long as it really is. But I have to say, it is really silly to see endowed women jogging along without sports bras. After ten steps their hands become makeshift titslingers, and they look with envy at women with forethought… Mrs. B really liked the biohazard symbol (since she works on diarrhea-inducing bacteria). I was leaning towards the bullseye myself, but then tragedy struck. We arrived at the beach sans body paint! For half a second I considered strategic application of sunblock and letting the lack of an ozone layer do its work-- but then reality set in and I decided to go completely bare. Some good ones that I spotted: flower power (drawn on a woman’s front half), 2001: a bare buns odyssey (stars, planets, and so much paint that she looked like she was wearing pants), and a globe. Attendance on the whole was a little low, since it was cloudy out. BTW, real tragedy struck when we left the beach. Some son of a bitch stole Mrs. B’s bicycle seat. Considering the number of police officers on the beach, I’m a little pissed off. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-shall-be-painted-on-my-naked-rear-end/73039.md?page=1)