# What Shall We Do With a Drunken Sailor? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 24, 2001, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-shall-we-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/51488 "2001-01-24T00:57:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-shall-we-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/51488/21 "2001-01-24T14:38:50Z")
Force him to watch the Olsen twins smirkin’ Force him to watch the Olsen twins smirkin’ Force him to watch the Olsen twins smirkin’ …EARLY IN THE MORNIN’ ---
**Author:** ![Bubba\_Ray](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Bubba\_Ray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bubba_Ray)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-shall-we-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/51488/22 "2001-01-24T14:40:31Z")
Sit him on a Chair and say Alkohol is bad 'mkay, Sit him on a Chair and say Alkohol is bad 'mkay, Sit him on a Chair and say Alkohol is bad 'mkay, early in the morning. PS. are you Alan S. from [FF.net](http://FF.net)? ---
**Author:** ![Spritle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-shall-we-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/51488/23 "2001-01-24T15:03:41Z")
Shlong in the face and then take pictures. Shlong in the face and then take pictures. Shlong in the face and then take pictures. Ear-lie in the mornin’. Take 'im in the back and bugger 'im roughly. Take 'im in the back and bugger 'im roughly. Take 'im in the back and… sorry… ::Exits with a sheepish grin:: ---
**Author:** ![don\_Jaime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b4bc9f/32.png) [@don\_Jaime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_Jaime)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-shall-we-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/51488/24 "2001-01-24T15:08:38Z")
Pitch 'im in the drink and see if he’ll swim, Pitch 'im in the drink and see if he’ll swim, Pitch 'im in the drink and see if he’ll swim, Ear-lye in the morning! ---
**Author:** ![Kaotic\_Newtral](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@Kaotic\_Newtral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaotic_Newtral)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-shall-we-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/51488/25 "2001-01-24T15:20:35Z")
Tie his balls to the mast and raise 'em, Tie his balls to the mast and raise 'em, Tie his balls to the mast and raise ‘em, Early in the mornin’ ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-shall-we-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/51488/26 "2001-01-24T16:41:08Z")
Tie 'im to the keel and 'haul that sod! Tie 'im to the keel and 'haul that sod! Tie 'im to the keel and ‘haul that sod! Early in the mornin’! ---
**Author:** ![Redwing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/dfb087/32.png) [@Redwing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redwing)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-shall-we-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/51488/27 "2001-01-24T16:47:07Z")
You ain’t seen the Captin’s daughter, You ain’t seen the Captin’s daughter, You ain’t seen the Captin’s daughter, Ear-lie in the mornin’ ---
**Author:** ![Spritle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-shall-we-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/51488/28 "2001-01-24T17:07:32Z")
Talk about gross till 'e vomits. Talk about gross till 'e vomits. Talk about gross till ‘e vomits. Ear-lie in the mornin’. ---
**Author:** ![tevya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@tevya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tevya)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-shall-we-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/51488/29 "2001-01-24T17:07:38Z")
Place his hand in a bowl of warm water Place his hand in a bowl of warm water Place his hand in a bowl of warm water Ear-lye in the mornin’ ---
**Author:** ![Spritle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-shall-we-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/51488/30 "2001-01-24T17:10:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by spritle \* > \*\*Talk about gross till 'e vomits. > Talk about gross till 'e vomits. > Talk about gross till ‘e vomits. > Ear-lie in the mornin’. \*\* Damn!! Let’s try again. Talk about gross **stuff** till 'e vomits. Talk about gross stuff till 'e vomits. Talk about gross stuff till ‘e vomits. Ear-lie in the mornin’. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-shall-we-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/51488/31 "2001-01-24T17:13:30Z")
Check him into the Betty Ford Clinic, Check him into the Betty Ford Clinic, Check him into the Betty Ford Clinic, Ear-lie in the mornin’! Way hey, up he vomits, Way hey, up he vomits, Way hey, up he vomits, Ear-lie in the morning! ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-shall-we-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/51488/32 "2001-01-24T17:20:21Z")
Give 'em a choice of soup or salad, give 'em a choice of soup or salad, give 'em a choice of soup or salad, But no house dressing on Wednesdays ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-shall-we-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/51488/33 "2001-01-24T18:04:19Z")
Post him a smiley and watch him sputter Post him a smiley and watch him sputter Post him a smiley and watch him sputter Ear-lie in the morning. 😃 ::: observes naval aircraft starting strafing run ::: ::: paints bullseye on Euty’s back ::: ::: ducks and runs ::: ---
**Author:** ![Spritle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-shall-we-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/51488/34 "2001-01-24T18:22:58Z")
Get 'im dolled up in trashy makeup. Get 'im dolled up in trashy makeup. Get ‘im dolled up in trashy makeup. Ear-lie in the mornin’. Smack 'im in the ass and call 'im “Sally”. Smack 'im in the ass and call 'im “Sally”. Smack 'im in the ass and call ‘im “Sally”. Ear-lie in the mornin’. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-shall-we-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/51488/35 "2001-01-24T19:13:53Z")
Heave him by the leg in a runnin’ bowlin’ Heave him by the leg in a runnin’ bowlin’ Heave him by the leg in a runnin’ bowlin’ Early in the mornin’! _Chorus:_ Way hey and up she rises Way hey and up she rises Way hey and up she rises Early in the mornin’! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-shall-we-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/51488.md?page=1)