Wow, do times change. When I was young they used to just put that shit on little pieces of blotter paper.
And it’s freaking *fabulous *over hot noodles, for a Spicy Mac & Cheese!
It’s one of those where, no matter how many times I make it, my snobby Whole Foods shopping granola crunching hippie friends wrinkle up their noses and make the same old tired “Eww…VELVEETA?! Why can’t Americans make real cheese?” jokes…and then eat the damn thing so fast they’re squabbling about who gets to lick the bowl. 
And for all those people just sick to death of the blood just racing through their wide open arteries, pour it on some hash browns. Bliss with a side order of angioplasty! Who could ask for more?
I’ve never seen Ro-Tel dip. Is it a Texas thing?
BBQ beef sandwiches
Speaking of which, my (now-) roomie taught me this one about a decade ago: Put a beef roast into a crock pot and cook it. Shred it with a fork and mix in the bottled BBQ sauce of your choice. Heat it through, and serve with rolls.
She puts water in the pot with the meat, and I don’t. I think meat has enough water in it already, and it’s always worked for me. I also slice the meat into big chunks so it reaches uniform doneness more quickly. My strategy for a potluck would be to make it they day before, or cook it overnight and shred it and sauce it before going to the potluck.
Pastrami sandwiches
Another crock pot thing would be to go to Cash & Carry and get a packet of sliced pastrami. Put it in the crock pot with some water, and let it cook for a few hours. Serve with yellow mustard, rolls, and provolone cheese.
Jack In The Box tacos
One potluck, I didn’t have time to make anything. So a couple of us bought bunches of Jack In The Box tacos and brought them. Cheating? Sure. But everyone loved the tacos!
Because real foodies know that there’s a proper application for everything. 
Tell them that if they were realy cheese snobs they’d understand that one uses the proper ingredients to achieve the desired effect. 
Oh, no, not at all. My dad probably made it for me first, back in the 80’s in New Jersey. Mom and I were able to find Ro-Tel here in Chicagoland when I told her about it.
Ro-Tel isn’t a dip itself - it’s diced tomatoes and green chilis in a can. When you add a pound of Velveeta and melt it, the resulting heavenly goo is “Ro-Tel Dip”. The recipe was on both the Ro-Tel can and the Velveeta box for a while, although I think later it was changed on the Velveeta box to a brand of salsa made by their own company.
Back in the day, the midwest had no other brands of diced tomatoes and green chilis, so if you wanted that, you wrote “Ro-Tel” on the shopping list. Now, of course, there are half a dozen options. I’m not brand loyal, but I do look for a can with a fairly small dice; Aldi’s house brand tastes fine, but the chunks of tomato are too big for easy dipping and don’t look as nice. (Helpful tip: if you get the can home to find the chunks are bigger than in the picture on the label, get a pair of kitchen shears, stick it into the can and snip repeatedly. It’s a lot neater than trying to cut canned chunks into dice on a cutting board.)
A bucket of KGC/KFC. It’s expected, and the non-foodies will thank you later.
Tip: eat at McDonald’s before you go. Trust me.
Yeah, my wife took some to her workplace the other day, and people from other floors of her building were calling her for the incredibly-easy recipe. heh.
As for the unwrapping: we went to Sam’s and bought the big box of Rolos, the one that’s packaged as 36 rolls of 8 Rolos each. Much faster to unwrap.
Cheese is always good. Either get three or four firm cheeses (sharp cheddar, a Swiss like Comte or Jarlsberg, Manchego, a gouda like Old Amsterdam or Reny Picot, …), cube them up, and arrange on a plate, or get three or four soft ones (brie, Gourmandise, goat, …) and put them out on individual small plates. Serve with a couple of different crackers, maybe water crackers and something rice-based for those who can’t take wheat.
I make this one for the occasional bring-something doings at work:
1 sack of oyster crackers
1 stick butter
1 packet Ranch Dressing powder.
Dump the crackers in a big ziplock bag. Melt the butter, pour it over the crackers, and shake the bag until the the crackers are evenly buttery. Dump the dressing mix in and shake until it is evenly distributed. These are better, for some reason, if you do them the night before and they have some time to sit.
You can also upgrade the recipe by adding other seasonings. I typically add some fresh ground black pepper and some garlic powder. These always go fast, especially when there is booze being served.
Most people have been giving suggestions for appetizers but I usually go the dessert route. We have a really good cheesecake place here (Suzy’s) so I just grab an approriately sized, pre-sliced, cheesecake and go.
Meat dip. Get 3 lbs of meat, 2 bricks of Mexican Velveeta, 1 large jar salsa. Brown meat, drain, throw in crock pot. Add cheese and melt in pot. When melted, stir in salsa. Serve with tortilla chips.
Ha. I remember some asshole brought a pile of McDonalds hamburgers to a potluck I hosted. They remained untouched.
Philistines!
I’d balance the tasty stuff with a McDouble, just to cleanse my palette.
I’ve been known to bring a pizza, or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, to church potlucks. As one kid loudly announced:“Awright-- something that doesn’t look like seaweed!”.
BTW, made the sausages-in-cinnamon-roll dough last night – Mmmmmmm…used Pork & Bacon sausage. Might try the BBQ sauce recipe to serve with them.
While I received a fair few compliments on the salmon, the guy who bought a ham and popped it in the oven for an hour (Got it at Target fro $20 he said) definitely won the prize.
I just so seldom get to make grown-up food these dyas, you know?
Another convert! They’re very tasty in a white trash trailer park sort of way aren’t they?
Quite possibly, that asshole couldn’t cook at all, and knew it.
About 25 years ago, my boss’s cousin died. My boss had a fairly large extended family that had moved from New York, and I knew that she (and her relatives) loved White Castle, which had just opened up a new drivethrough in our city. So I picked up a couple of dozen White Castle hamburgers and cheeseburgers and fries, and delivered them. Everyone fell upon them gratefully. Nobody felt like cooking, nobody felt like a big meal, but everyone was delighted to see those bags of cheap hamburgers.
Personally, I like to bring veggie platters and a couple of kinds of dip to potlucks. Nothing requires heating. I make sure to include things like a few kinds of olives, a couple of kinds of baby pickles (dill and sweet, at least), and some other garnishes. This also means that I’m sure of having something that I can eat.
Once, when schedules went out the window and there was only enough time to dress - we grabbed a sliver platter, stopped at 7-11 and on the way - covered the platter with Twinkies.
It was the only dish which was completely consumed…
At the most classy potluck I ever attended, I brought two kinds of cheese (fresh fresh mozzarella and something much harder and more flavorful), crackers, and two kinds of really unusual grapes – champagne grapes and something else unusual. People kept coming up to me to compliment me. No prep time, but it involves having a gourmet-ish grocer nearby and it’s kind of expensive.
Ro-tel queso is the king of foods, but this is the ace:
1/2 lb butter
1/2 lb cream cheese
1/8 lb Brie or other strongly flavored cheese
1/4 t white pepper
Melt the butter. Cut up the cheese and stir it into the butter over low heat. You will probably want to use a whisk to blend the two together and keep the sauce from separating (which it is very much inclined to do). When you have a uniform, creamy sauce you are done. You may serve it over asparagus or other vegetables, or over toast; if you want to brown the top, put it under the broiling unit in your stove for a minute or so.
It’s called cheese goo, it can kill you, and it’s a popular appetizer amongst SCAdians hereabouts. It’s actually a very very old recipe and is ridiculously amazingly good.
Ooh, yes! And get this: I assembled them, and, since I was taking some other foodly comestibles to the house that the potluck will be held in tomorrow, took them early…
Well, we cooked some of them up, dipped them in the cream cheese frosting, and they became a wickedly delicious snack to keep us working hard in the kitchen… amidst the "Ooooooh"s and "Aaaaaaaaah"s… and now I get to make more for the partygoers. No, I don’t mind…
Lest you forget, we speak of the sausages-wrapped-in-cinnamon-roll dough. And mine were spiral-wrapped (the dough was stretchy enough, and it looks good).