# What should a divorced man do if his ex abuses his child? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 30, 2013, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-a-divorced-man-do-if-his-ex-abuses-his-child/672695 "2013-10-30T22:48:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2013, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-a-divorced-man-do-if-his-ex-abuses-his-child/672695/1 "2013-10-30T22:48:03Z")
Suppose he found out that she regularly physically abuses the child and leaves marks. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2013, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-a-divorced-man-do-if-his-ex-abuses-his-child/672695/2 "2013-10-30T22:48:47Z")
Report it to child protective services. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2013, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-a-divorced-man-do-if-his-ex-abuses-his-child/672695/3 "2013-10-30T23:28:50Z")
> [@CCitizen](#): > > Suppose he found out that she regularly physically abuses the child and leaves marks. Contact law enforcement, CPS, and his attorney ASAP. ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-a-divorced-man-do-if-his-ex-abuses-his-child/672695/4 "2013-10-31T01:50:47Z")
I voted “Other” because he doesn’t have to gather evidence; he should report his suspicions to the authorities without delay. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-a-divorced-man-do-if-his-ex-abuses-his-child/672695/5 "2013-10-31T05:38:43Z")
Report her. If she does not stop, stop her. If the government drones do nothing, stop them. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-a-divorced-man-do-if-his-ex-abuses-his-child/672695/6 "2013-10-31T05:44:01Z")
Dumbest poll ever. ---
**Author:** ![blindboyard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blindboyard/32/2833_2.png) [@blindboyard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blindboyard)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-a-divorced-man-do-if-his-ex-abuses-his-child/672695/7 "2013-10-31T09:29:13Z")
Other: be wrongly accused and sent to prison. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-a-divorced-man-do-if-his-ex-abuses-his-child/672695/8 "2013-10-31T13:27:13Z")
Hmmm… does he actually want custody of the kid, or not? ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-a-divorced-man-do-if-his-ex-abuses-his-child/672695/9 "2013-10-31T13:37:33Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Dumbest poll ever. That was not a poll option. ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-a-divorced-man-do-if-his-ex-abuses-his-child/672695/10 "2013-10-31T18:04:45Z")
Ambivalid can not discuss anything without personal attacks. The input from other posters/voters on this very common situation are appreciated. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-a-divorced-man-do-if-his-ex-abuses-his-child/672695/11 "2013-10-31T18:38:16Z")
> [@CCitizen](#): > > Ambivalid can not discuss anything without personal attacks. > > The input from other posters/voters on this very common situation are appreciated. To be fair he has a point. Its basically pointless without more information. ---
**Author:** ![crypto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@crypto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crypto)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-a-divorced-man-do-if-his-ex-abuses-his-child/672695/12 "2013-10-31T18:41:34Z")
Is this really a serious poll? If this is actually occurring in your life, for god’s sake man, do whatever you have to do to get your child out of that situation. I can’t imagine there is another answer. ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-a-divorced-man-do-if-his-ex-abuses-his-child/672695/13 "2013-10-31T19:10:21Z")
Fortunately, I am not connected to the people with this issue. ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-a-divorced-man-do-if-his-ex-abuses-his-child/672695/14 "2013-10-31T19:45:57Z")
One of the most important jobs of a parent is to protect your child when they can’t protect themselves - that includes from the other parent (or yourself, if necessary). ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-a-divorced-man-do-if-his-ex-abuses-his-child/672695/15 "2013-10-31T20:35:08Z")
Why are there options? I would go one step further and not let the kid see said parent and file for sole custody. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-a-divorced-man-do-if-his-ex-abuses-his-child/672695/16 "2013-10-31T22:51:17Z")
> [@perfectparanoia](#): > > Why are there options? > > I would go one step further and not let the kid see said parent and file for sole custody. Very bad idea. That leaves the judge to eventually decide between one parent with unfounded accusations against them and one parent who has disregarded a court order and is probably in violation of the criminal interferece with custody statutes. There are proper ways to deal with the situation that don’t involve violating a court order. These situations are rarely that black and white. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-a-divorced-man-do-if-his-ex-abuses-his-child/672695/17 "2013-11-01T17:46:23Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Dumbest poll ever. Well, while one hates to judge before all of the facts are in, this sounds pretty accurate… ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-a-divorced-man-do-if-his-ex-abuses-his-child/672695/18 "2013-11-01T21:20:40Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Very bad idea. That leaves the judge to eventually decide between one parent with unfounded accusations against them and one parent who has disregarded a court order and is probably in violation of the criminal interferece with custody statutes. There are proper ways to deal with the situation that don’t involve violating a court order. > > These situations are rarely that black and white. Leaving my kid with someone who is abusing them is just not happening. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2013, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-a-divorced-man-do-if-his-ex-abuses-his-child/672695/19 "2013-11-02T02:18:38Z")
> [@CCitizen](#): > > Ambivalid can not discuss anything without personal attacks. You never did tell me what that “C” stands for…It really _is_ “Cyborg” isn’t it? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2013, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-a-divorced-man-do-if-his-ex-abuses-his-child/672695/20 "2013-11-02T02:24:15Z")
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