# What Should Be the American National Anthem **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 8, 2010, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-be-the-american-national-anthem/552993 "2010-09-08T00:33:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-be-the-american-national-anthem/552993/101 "2010-09-13T22:02:46Z")
“Sabbath Bloody Sabbath,” Black Sabbath. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-be-the-american-national-anthem/552993/102 "2010-09-13T22:15:49Z")
> [@Captain\_Amazing](#): > > Well, the Star Spangled Banner mentions God too: Don’t forget this part as well: _Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just, And this be our motto: “In God is our trust”_ Of course, the reality is that these admirable sentiments :dubious: are buried deep within obscure verses which never see the public light of day, while _every single verse_ of “America The Beautiful” contains God homages. > [@](#): > > I mean, the British national anthem is “God Save the Queen”. The New Zealand national anthem is “God Defend New Zealand”. Those are more explicitly about God than either our current anthem or “America the Beautiful”. So we’ve gotta ape the Brits and the Kiwis? The British have another nifty set of lyrics we could adopt: _We don’t want to fight but by jingo if we do… We’ve got the ships, we’ve got the men, and got the money too! We’ve fought the Bear before… and while we’re Britons true, The Russians shall not have Constantinople…_ (Macdermott’s War Song, 1878 (from whence the term “jingoism” derives. The rhyming kinda sucks at the end though.) Or, the Sex Pistols’ version of “God Save The Queen”: _God save the Queen_ She ain’t no human being… Don’t be told what you want, Don’t be told what you need. There’s no future, no future No future for you.\* Inspiring. \*substitute the name of the current President here. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-be-the-american-national-anthem/552993/103 "2010-09-13T22:28:18Z")
[quote=“Knorf, post:82, topic:552993”] > [@BigT](#): > > So, why did make the quasi-facetious remark about “taking music classes”? Because I’m sick of so much lamenting that stems directly from total, rampant musical illiteracy, and people not realizing at all that they can do something about it. Perhaps a lot of people are more interested in not being embarrassed in trying to sing the national anthem than they are in musical theory. Like sports, music is a fine pastime, but peoples’ interest in sports may extend only to playing a friendly game of touch football at the annual company picnic. Getting worked up because that person just doesn’t understand the passing tree, something that can be learned at the most basic level of the game by any qualified coach, is somewhat unreasonable. Likewise, my ignorance (or forgetfulness) of many things musical, even many basics like when might be a good time to change octaves, is no more a sin than someone not knowing the passing tree. Musical illiteracy is no more a same than sports illiteracy. I just don’t care for the Star Spangled Banner and I don’t like singing it on those handful of times a year I go to a baseball game or whatever. If I have to be taught how to appreciate it, well then I’d rather have a national anthem that isn’t so hard to like. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-be-the-american-national-anthem/552993/104 "2010-09-13T23:10:00Z")
> [@Johanna](#): > > I’m partial to the [“National Anthem” of Azerbaijan](http://www.mayasite.net/MIDI/Atlas/aze001nm.mid). I’ve never checked out the lyrics. I’ve only heard instrumental arrangements of it rendered in MIDI format. For all I know, the lyrics say “Our nation is glorious for the blood and guts of our enemies dripping from our red swords! Yay us!” Well, I certainly hope not. But all I can tell you is the melody is awesome. It sounds like a _song_ song instead of just another clichéd anthem. It sounds like something Aleksandr Borodin might have written. Well, actually… > [@](#): > > Azerbaijan! Azerbaijan! > O Great Land, your children are heroes. > We are ready to be martyred for you. > We are ready to shed blood for you. > Three-coloured flag, flourish honourably! > Three-coloured flag, flourish honourably! > Thousands of lives have been sacrificed. > Your bosom has become a battlefield. > Every devoted soldier > Has become a hero. > You are prospering. > My life is always dedicated to you. > My love for you is embedded in my heart > A thousand and one times. > To preserve everything > And to honour her flag > All the youth are willing. > Great Land! Great Land! > Azerbaijan! Azerbaijan! > Azerbaijan! Azerbaijan! ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-be-the-american-national-anthem/552993/105 "2010-09-13T23:19:11Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > So we’ve gotta ape the Brits and the Kiwis? Slavishly. But what I mean is, a lot of countries have God references…God save the country, God protect the country, God protect the ruling monarch, God smite our country’s enemies, God loves us best. Actually, there was just a news article a few months ago where a Communist member of the Duma tried unsuccessfully to remove a reference to God in the Russian anthem. But basically, national anthems tend to be either insipid (“This is our country. See how pretty it is?”) or jingoistic, (“This is our country. We’re going to kick the asses of any invaders!”), so maybe you’re expecting too much. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-be-the-american-national-anthem/552993/106 "2010-09-13T23:42:31Z")
> [@](#): > > Your bosom has become a battlefield. This doesn’t make me swell with patriotic pride, it calls for getting out the Flit gun. > [@Captain Amazing](#): > > But basically, national anthems tend to be either insipid (“This is our country. See how pretty it is?”) or jingoistic, (“This is our country. We’re going to kick the asses of any invaders!”), so maybe you’re expecting too much. I have low expectations which are often met. As I mentioned in another thread, there’s a terrific sequence in Gustav Holst’s “The Planets” (during Jupiter’s Theme) which would make a swell national anthem. Supposedly some Brits adapted it for semi-patriotic purposes, so we’d have to steal it back, but no biggie there. Till then, there’s always Vince Vance and the Valiants’ 1980 Beach Boys adaptation (the lyrics are eerily suitable for current events): _Went to a mosque, gonna throw some rocks Tell the Ayatollah, “Gonna put you in a box!” Bomb Iran. Bomb, bomb, bomb, Bomb Iran Our country’s got a feelin’ Really hit the ceilin’, bomb Iran Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran_ ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-be-the-american-national-anthem/552993/107 "2010-09-14T00:19:05Z")
> [@Captain\_Amazing](#): > > Well, actually… > > > [@](#): > > > > Azerbaijan! Azerbaijan! > > O Great Land, your children are heroes. > > We are ready to be martyred for you. > > We are ready to shed blood for you. _Aaauughghgh_. :smack: Well, there goes that one. Sometimes I just hate to be proven right. This is one of those time. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-be-the-american-national-anthem/552993/108 "2010-09-14T00:32:24Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > I have low expectations which are often met. LOL! > [@](#): > > As I mentioned in another thread, there’s a terrific sequence in Gustav Holst’s “The Planets” (during Jupiter’s Theme) which would make a swell national anthem. Supposedly some Brits adapted it for semi-patriotic purposes, so we’d have to steal it back, but no biggie there. The first time I ever heard that tune was in Isao Tomita’s synthesizer arrangement back in the '70s. Tomita introduced it by synthesizing an alien robot voice, which called up another alien robot spaceship on interplanetary radio (this was all done with synthesizer sound FX), and then taught the callee to sing the Jupiter theme. Then the alien robot voices warbled “Jupiter” in two-part harmony. Then Todd Rundgren used this sonic tableau to open Utopia’s shows on their _Oops! Wrong Planet!_ tour, along with a video of alien robots in space that he created to go with it. So no matter how many times I hear that tune, I’ll never be able to get that stuff out of my head, always the first thing I think of when hearing it. > [@](#): > > Bomb Iran. Bomb, bomb, bomb, > Bomb Iran Umm… John McCain you are so not. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-be-the-american-national-anthem/552993/109 "2010-09-23T02:13:56Z")
Well, there’s [this.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4tDP-yMwXI&p=28DA9B76C13383E3&playnext=1&index=6) Seriously, I’d like either America the Beautiful or the Battle Hymn of the Republic, but the Battle Hymn, for one, is so polarizing. On the one hand, I love it for what it symbolizes: it’s one thing that we established a new nation, but when it came to it, **we preserved the Union**. OTOH, if I had antecedents who lost everything to Sherman’s [del]marauders[/del] army, I wouldn’t love that song much at all. Meanwhile, I’m not offended by the yay!god! in AtB, but…Do I, as I sometimes suspect, have musical dyslexia, or [does it sound](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LINsNCaxZ5U&feature=related) a lot like [Advance Australia Fair](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iGNhgMd6uM)? Not that the US and Australia often cross paths at anthem-obligatory events; just sayin’, is all. Honestly, I think if we need a new anthem, it’ll have to be a brand-new one. I agree with the poster who said that some songs have parodies too closely associated with them. If AtB were the anthem, I’d have to struggle not to add “Patriotism swells in the heart of the American bear!” And with God Bless America, I’d be trying not to sing [“God bless America [sub]you dumb Polack![/sub], my home sweet home!”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYK35krSATs) ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-be-the-american-national-anthem/552993/110 "2010-09-23T03:51:44Z")
> [@missred](#): > > > [@Steophan](#): > > > > Freebird. > > It only took 90 posts! 😛 And I didn’t do it. But there’s a reason I didn’t. The Freebird is sacred. All Freebirds are Americans, but all Americans are not Freebirds. Actual Freebirds include: 1. All past or present members of Lynyrd Skynyrd. 2. Michael Hayes, Terry Gordy, Buddy Roberts, and when I’m feeling generous, Jimmy Garvin. 3. Oakminster 4. Others as designated by Oakminster in his official capacity as Ultimate Authority on the Sacred Freebird. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-be-the-american-national-anthem/552993.md?page=5)