# What should children be taught about strangers? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [June 25, 2013, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-children-be-taught-about-strangers/661879 "2013-06-25T16:28:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-children-be-taught-about-strangers/661879/21 "2013-06-26T03:49:06Z")
> [@Palo\_Verde](#): > > These rules would have the child not allowed to buy something at the bakery (give them money, take a loaf of bread). That would break rule #2. > > They wouldn’t be able to participate in a play (the director is telling them what to do) in violation of rule #3. > > They would have trouble with most kid activities that require them to give their first name in violation of rule #4. > > So I think Tripolar’s rules have so many exceptions as to make them meaningless. I think you lack common sense. Children shouldn’t be buying things at stores until they’ve instructed in how to do that. Children shouldn’t participate in a play where the director is a stranger. Kid’s activities do not require giving their name to anyone but other children or adults who are not strangers. I hope you don’t have kids. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-children-be-taught-about-strangers/661879/22 "2013-06-26T04:13:27Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > I think you lack common sense. Children shouldn’t be buying things at stores until they’ve instructed in how to do that. Children shouldn’t participate in a play where the director is a stranger. Kid’s activities do not require giving their name to anyone but other children or adults who are not strangers. I hope you don’t have kids. Seriously? You going to keep your kids home from school? That place is swarming with strangers. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-children-be-taught-about-strangers/661879/23 "2013-06-26T04:38:16Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > Seriously? You going to keep your kids home from school? That place is swarming with strangers. Is there something wrong with you? The people at a school are not strangers. ---
**Author:** ![Palo\_Verde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/65b543/32.png) [@Palo\_Verde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palo_Verde)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-children-be-taught-about-strangers/661879/24 "2013-06-26T04:38:50Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > I think you lack common sense. Children shouldn’t be buying things at stores until they’ve instructed in how to do that. Children shouldn’t participate in a play where the director is a stranger. Kid’s activities do not require giving their name to anyone but other children or adults who are not strangers. I hope you don’t have kids. I have 4 kids. They go to the store all the time. They participate in activities all the time (their coaches and directors all start out as strangers, until you get to know them). They give out their names freely as necessary. You meet strangers all the time every day. The trick is to know how to interact with them, not to be told not to interact with them. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-children-be-taught-about-strangers/661879/25 "2013-06-26T04:42:08Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Is there something wrong with you? The people at a school are not strangers. And if a kid is in a play, neither is the director. ---
**Author:** ![Palo\_Verde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/65b543/32.png) [@Palo\_Verde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palo_Verde)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-children-be-taught-about-strangers/661879/26 "2013-06-26T04:44:32Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Is there something wrong with you? The people at a school are not strangers. How are you defining a stranger? Like tonight, my kids and I were at a swim meet. The place was full of kids, coaches from other teams, parents, and the meet officials. They had never met most of these people before, strangers by any meaningful definition. The officials asked them their names, gave them their cards indicating which events they would be swimming in, and told them which lane to swim in. According to your rules, they should have ignored these instructions, not spoken to the officials, and not taken the cards. Does that really make sense? Or maybe your rules have so many exceptions as to be meaningless. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-children-be-taught-about-strangers/661879/27 "2013-06-26T05:01:55Z")
> [@Palo\_Verde](#): > > How are you defining a stranger? > > Like tonight, my kids and I were at a swim meet. The place was full of kids, coaches from other teams, parents, and the meet officials. They had never met most of these people before, strangers by any meaningful definition. The officials asked them their names, gave them their cards indicating which events they would be swimming in, and told them which lane to swim in. According to your rules, they should have ignored these instructions, not spoken to the officials, and not taken the cards. Does that really make sense? Or maybe your rules have so many exceptions as to be meaningless. If your kids don’t know what a stranger is then you can’t tell them anything about them. Strangers are not people they encounter in situations approved by their parents who belong there. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-children-be-taught-about-strangers/661879/28 "2013-06-26T05:21:36Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > I think you lack common sense. Children shouldn’t be buying things at stores until they’ve instructed in how to do that. **Children shouldn’t participate in a play where the director is a stranger.** Kid’s activities do not require giving their name to anyone but other children or adults who are not strangers. I hope you don’t have kids. > [@TriPolar](#): > > If your kids don’t know what a stranger is then you can’t tell them anything about them. **Strangers are not people they encounter in situations approved by their parents who belong there.** So participating in a theater group is not approved by parents? ---
**Author:** ![Palo\_Verde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/65b543/32.png) [@Palo\_Verde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palo_Verde)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-children-be-taught-about-strangers/661879/29 "2013-06-26T05:26:11Z")
Well if you choose to use the word ‘stranger’ to mean something different than every other person who uses the word, then you should at least tell us your definition before going on about it. The standard definition is, “A person whom one does not know or with whom one is not familiar” (according to the dictionary). Your definition, once I untangled it, seems to be, “A person you encounter in situations unapproved by your parents.” So when I encountered a boy who was lost at a rodeo, I asked him his name, and lead him to the announcer, who then made an announcement for his parents. You think he shouldn’t have told me his name or come with me? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-children-be-taught-about-strangers/661879/30 "2013-06-26T11:24:48Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > So participating in a theater group is not approved by parents? I can see how you parsed it that way, but I think it’s clear that he’s of the opinion that kids shouldn’t be in a play directed by a person whom their parents haven’t approved of them working with. Did he insult you in another thread or something? His meaning and definition of “stranger” isn’t all that unclear (and, yeah, “stranger” is a hard concept to define for kids, actually, and **TriPolar** ’s definition is perhaps the best I’ve found yet), but you seem to be purposefully muddying it. And the boy at the rodeo? Tough call. That’s why I’ve come up with nothing better than “trust your gut, kiddo, and try to find someone with kids if you get lost.” **Palo Verde** , you are undoubtedly an honorable person and truly intended to help and I’m glad you did. Doesn’t always work out that way (although the odds are in the kid’s favor). I wouldn’t have judged the kid a jot if he’d started screaming and ran the other way, either. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-children-be-taught-about-strangers/661879/31 "2013-06-26T11:25:11Z")
I will teach all my children that free stuff doesn’t come often in life, so grab it while you have the chance. This involves candy and van rides. ---
**Author:** ![Hermitian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hermitian/32/470_2.png) [@Hermitian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hermitian)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-children-be-taught-about-strangers/661879/32 "2013-06-26T13:25:41Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > One of my saddest memories was seeing a 3 or 4 year old boy all alone in the grocery, walking around obviously looking for someone and nobody stopping to help him. I went over and ask him if he needed help. “I’m here with my grandma and can’t find her.” I said “Come with me to the information desk and they’ll help you find her.” He walked with me and I explained to the person what was going on. They paged his grandmother, and all ended well. > > Anyone could have taken that poor child out of the store cause people are too scared to help a lost kid. I know this is a GD topic, but I am somewhat scared to help young children. As a middle aged white male, if I am “caught” with a lost child I am guilty of kidnapping with perverted intentions until proven innocent. I am just one step away from a ruined life. ---
**Author:** ![aNewLeaf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@aNewLeaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aNewLeaf)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-children-be-taught-about-strangers/661879/33 "2013-06-26T14:06:20Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > To go for the knees and/or eyes, whichever is feasible. Split the difference, apply force to testicles for immediate results. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-children-be-taught-about-strangers/661879.md?page=1)