# What should I call my fish **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 30, 2004, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-call-my-fish/242778 "2004-04-30T01:21:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![robinc308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@robinc308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robinc308)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-call-my-fish/242778/1 "2004-04-30T01:21:28Z")
I bought a house recently, and it came complete with a fishpond in the back yard. Well, I call it a yard, but it’s pretty small. More like a courtyard, but I digress. I decided that, since I had a pond, I had better get some fish. Otherwise it wouldn’t be a fishpond, would it? So I picked myself up and trotted down to the petshop. Well, I didn’t trot, I drove, and then I went around in circles in the carpark until I found a spot etc etc. But I wound up at the petshop. I passed the kittens - which were boring because they were asleep, and I very nearly got sidetracked by the puppies. You see, what I really want is a puppy, they’re all cute and friendly and stuff. Fish are a second best alternative. You can’t cuddle fish, and they don’t get excited to see you when you come home. But I didn’t get a puppy for two reasons: 1) It would probably not be particularly happy about living in a fishpond and 2) I don’t have any fences and it would probably wander off and get hit by a car and I’d never see it again. So I bought some fish. Since I don’t know much about I got the cheapest ones there (on the basis that if I kill them, they’re easy to replace) - comet goldfish. So far they have been alive for 3 weeks, but I haven’t given them names. At first it was because I couldn’t tell the difference between them, they all look the same to me, but then it was because I don’t know what to call them. So, fellow dopers - help me name my fish - the very first pets I have ever owned all by myself… To help, I’ll describe them (I would post pictures, but I don’t have a digital camera anymore…) Fish 1: Orange. Fat. The biggest of the bunch. Fish 2: Paler orange than fish 1. Skinny, the smallest of the lot. Fish 3: Orange with white lips. The second biggest. Fish 4: Orange. Middle sized. No interesting features at all. Fish 5: Looks identical to Fish 4 except with a little patch of black on its tailfin. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-call-my-fish/242778/2 "2004-04-30T01:33:57Z")
1. Belushi 2. Akroyd 3. “Lifeguard” or “Zinc-Lips” (sink ships?) 4. Zelig 5. Spot Congrats on keeping your fish alive for three weeks and counting. Will your area get too cold for them to survive the winter? If so, do you plan to relocate them to a tank for the season? ---
**Author:** ![Dignan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@Dignan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dignan)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-call-my-fish/242778/3 "2004-04-30T01:38:55Z")
You should give Fish #4 the name “Bubbles.” ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-call-my-fish/242778/4 "2004-04-30T01:40:08Z")
Fish 1: “Purina” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-call-my-fish/242778/5 "2004-04-30T01:45:35Z")
Or, in honor of “Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life” (and esp. the restaurant aquarium scene): 1. Terry (both "Terry"s actually) 2. Palin 3. Cleese 4. Chapman 5. Idle ---
**Author:** ![robinc308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@robinc308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robinc308)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-call-my-fish/242778/6 "2004-04-30T01:52:07Z")
> [@The Scrivener](#): > > Will your area get too cold for them to survive the winter? If so, do you plan to relocate them to a tank for the season? I don’t know what too cold is, but I was planning on leaving them in the pond all winter, they can suck it up. It will make them tough. ---
**Author:** ![robinc308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@robinc308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robinc308)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-call-my-fish/242778/7 "2004-04-30T01:53:49Z")
I love the suggestions, keep 'em coming! I should also mention that they’re all pretty small still - the smallest is around 4cm, the biggest around 6cm. I’m hoping they’ll grow. ---
**Author:** ![Abbie\_Carmichael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/49beb7/32.png) [@Abbie\_Carmichael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abbie_Carmichael)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-call-my-fish/242778/8 "2004-04-30T02:30:34Z")
Fish 1: Orange. Fat. The biggest of the bunch. **Orson** Fish 2: Paler orange than fish 1. Skinny, the smallest of the lot. **Name it after your favorite anorexic supermodel.** Fish 3: Orange with white lips. The second biggest. **Jagger** Fish 4: Orange. Middle sized. No interesting features at all. **Al Gore** Fish 5: Looks identical to Fish 4 except with a little patch of black on its tailfin. **Spike**. The black patch on his tailfin shows he’s a badass. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Who](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Doctor\_Who](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Who)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-call-my-fish/242778/9 "2004-04-30T02:34:24Z")
Fish 1: **Larry** Fish 2: **Darryl** Fish 3: **Darryl** Fish 4: **Darryl** Fish 5: **Darryl** - Peter Wiggen ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-call-my-fish/242778/10 "2004-04-30T02:48:23Z")
Fish 1: Orange. Fat. The biggest of the bunch. Frederick J. Dukes (“Freddie” for short), Little John or Godzilla. Or Tiny Fish 2: Paler orange than fish 1. Skinny, the smallest of the lot. Wanda, Baby/Babycakes, Junior or Tiny Tim. Or Little Ed. Fish 3: Orange with white lips. The second biggest. Ghost, Socks, Clown or Kissyface. Or Wanda if Fish 2 doesn’t get named Wanda. Or Ponyboy. Fish 4: Orange. Middle sized. No interesting features at all. Pumpkin, Goldie, Mama Bear or Dubya. Fish 5: Looks identical to Fish 4 except with a little patch of black on its tailfin. Patch, Blackie, Death, Muerte or Morty. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-call-my-fish/242778/11 "2004-04-30T03:02:41Z")
Sushi Q ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Bongo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a9adbd/32.png) [@Winston\_Bongo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Bongo)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-call-my-fish/242778/12 "2004-04-30T03:07:50Z")
Random suggestions pulled out of my hindparts: 1. Laughing Gravy 2. The Mighty Quinn 3. Bonedigger 4. Spazmaraz 5. Circumloquacious 6. Benvolio 7. Richard M. Nixon 8. Eraserhead 9. Winebibber Hottentot 10. Robert the Bruce Feel free to match the names with whichever fish, if any, best suits them. ---
**Author:** ![unclviny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e274bd/32.png) [@unclviny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/unclviny)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-call-my-fish/242778/13 "2004-04-30T04:31:45Z")
1. Fred 2. Fred 3. Fred 4. Fred 5. Fred Trust me, it makes life easier, my “cat rule” is that they are all male and they are all named “Clyde”. Unclviny ---
**Author:** ![nevermore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a587f6/32.png) [@nevermore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nevermore)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-call-my-fish/242778/14 "2004-04-30T04:34:33Z")
Steve. …what?? ok, Fluffy. ---
**Author:** ![ReBusEniGma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@ReBusEniGma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReBusEniGma)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-call-my-fish/242778/15 "2004-04-30T04:41:07Z")
Fish 1: Punch Fish 2: Judy Fish 3: Rocky Fish 4: Bullwinkle Fish 5: Roy ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-call-my-fish/242778/16 "2004-04-30T04:58:47Z")
1: Eric 2: Eric 3: Eric 4: Eric 5: Eric ---
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-call-my-fish/242778/17 "2004-04-30T05:31:50Z")
Goldfish are pretty hearty and should survive the winter in the pond as long as it doesn’t freeze solid. The whole cryogenics thing is a whole nother issue. Just to let you know, goldfish have a life expenctancy of about 25 years if kept correctly. You could be in for the long haul. 1. Cartman 2. Ike 3. Butters 4. Chef 5. Mr. Hat ---
**Author:** ![Phelan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Phelan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phelan)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-call-my-fish/242778/18 "2004-04-30T06:18:50Z")
1. Professor Fish 2. The Master of Bait 3. Dave 4. Molson 5. Black Patchterson ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-call-my-fish/242778/19 "2004-04-30T10:24:25Z")
> [@robinc308](#): > > Fish 1: Orange. Fat. The biggest of the bunch. > Fish 2: Paler orange than fish 1. Skinny, the smallest of the lot. > Fish 3: Orange with white lips. The second biggest. > Fish 4: Orange. Middle sized. No interesting features at all. > Fish 5: Looks identical to Fish 4 except with a little patch of black on its tailfin. 1. **Runt** 2. (I’ll probably think of something clever while I am at work and have no internet access and will forget my amazingly clever name while on the way home - isn’t that typical?) 3. (Steve) **Tyler** 4. **Spaghetti-O** , nicknamed **Uh-oh!** 5. **Spot** ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-call-my-fish/242778/20 "2004-04-30T10:56:07Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > 1: Eric > 2: Eric > 3: Eric > 4: Eric > 5: Eric Eric only works if the fish is an 'alibut. Robin [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-call-my-fish/242778.md?page=2)