# What should I do about this? (Asking someone out) \[Edited title\] **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 16, 2010, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-about-this-asking-someone-out-edited-title/564414 "2010-12-16T20:21:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-about-this-asking-someone-out-edited-title/564414/21 "2010-12-22T05:25:44Z")
Yeah, take it slow bro. And ask her out over the phone at the very least. ---
**Author:** ![may\_be\_ignorant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c5a1d2/32.png) [@may\_be\_ignorant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/may_be_ignorant)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-about-this-asking-someone-out-edited-title/564414/22 "2010-12-22T06:58:46Z")
> [@etv78](#): > > She mentioned on her Wall watching 80’s movies, so I said,“Wanna go “Back to the Future” for some companiionship?” hahahaha. I mean you coulda done better. Not much worse. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-about-this-asking-someone-out-edited-title/564414/23 "2010-12-22T08:59:12Z")
> [@etv78](#): > > She mentioned on her Wall watching 80’s movies, so I said,“Wanna go “Back to the Future” for some companiionship?” Erk. To be honest, I’d run a mile if someone I hadn’t spoken to since high school sent me something like that. ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2010, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-about-this-asking-someone-out-edited-title/564414/24 "2010-12-24T21:33:09Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > You need to get to know a person as a friend before you send that personal of a message. It comes across as creepy. Keep things light and just try to get to know each other. Talk about '80’s movies or something, but don’t go overboard. This is good advice. But if it doesnt work out, don’t beat yourself up over it. Who knows what kind of person she is nowadays, or if you two would get along. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2010, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-about-this-asking-someone-out-edited-title/564414/25 "2010-12-25T00:43:58Z")
I am not sue why you would ask her (or anyone) out simply because you knew them many years ago. Especially if you had nothing in common then. Haven’t you met other people in the interim? ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2011, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-about-this-asking-someone-out-edited-title/564414/26 "2011-04-17T02:30:53Z")
She assured me I didn’t freak her out, but I’m reasonably sure she didn’t figure out my true motives. ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2011, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-about-this-asking-someone-out-edited-title/564414/27 "2011-04-17T12:43:54Z")
> [@etv78](#): > > She assured me I didn’t freak her out, but I’m reasonably sure she didn’t figure out my true motives. Messaged her revealing my motives. ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2011, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-about-this-asking-someone-out-edited-title/564414/28 "2011-04-17T13:34:43Z")
What did you say this time? ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2011, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-about-this-asking-someone-out-edited-title/564414/29 "2011-04-17T13:51:38Z")
> [@lavenderviolet](#): > > What did you say this time? “Hey Baby, wanna join my Breakfast Club? I promise it won’t be a Nightmare on Elm Street. I know I didn’t come off as a Real Genius before, maybe even Less Than Zero, but if you give me another chance I’ll be Some Kind of Wonderful. Without you, I’m Better Off Dead.” ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2011, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-about-this-asking-someone-out-edited-title/564414/30 "2011-04-17T14:46:02Z")
> [@Nawth\_Chucka](#): > > “Hey Baby, wanna join my Breakfast Club? I promise it won’t be a Nightmare on Elm Street. I know I didn’t come off as a Real Genius before, maybe even Less Than Zero, but if you give me another chance I’ll be Some Kind of Wonderful. Without you, I’m Better Off Dead.” No, the 1st message was just asking if I freaked her out. (she didn’t talk to me for awhile) 2nd was just making my intentions more obvious. SHOULDA used Chuck’s line, though! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2011, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-about-this-asking-someone-out-edited-title/564414/31 "2011-04-17T14:53:45Z")
It always seems uncool when you imagine doing it, but just using English, and telling someone how you feel and what you want has one overwhelming advantage: People understand what you are saying. The pain when she falls to the ground howling in laughter will be intense, but actually, over time, it’s less than the ache from realizing you never took the chance. And, if she actually thinks you are not a complete dork, who is ugly and stupid too, she will think you are a not ugly, not stupid non dork who is honest, and willing to be vulnerable. Chicks dig that. Go for it. Tris (who didn’t.) ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2011, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-about-this-asking-someone-out-edited-title/564414/32 "2011-07-26T00:38:31Z")
She’s taken. ☹ Not surprised, grateful it was drama-free. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2011, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-about-this-asking-someone-out-edited-title/564414/33 "2011-07-26T00:51:21Z")
Next time, don’t wait 7 months. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-about-this-asking-someone-out-edited-title/564414.md?page=1)