# What should I do with a billion dollars? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 21, 2018, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304 "2018-10-21T21:13:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Enola\_Gay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@Enola\_Gay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Gay)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/21 "2018-10-22T01:20:03Z")
Buy an active volcano just for the novelty of it. ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/22 "2018-10-22T01:25:26Z")
> [@Johnny\_Bravo](#): > > You should give a cool million to anybody who replied to this thread within the first, say, 19 posts. Funny you should say that… but I planned to give it to poster number 18. ---
**Author:** ![Buttercup\_Smith](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buttercup_smith/32/473_2.png) [@Buttercup\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buttercup_Smith)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/23 "2018-10-22T01:29:53Z")
I would buy a jet. I would buy a few mansions all over the world and of course give to all my family. I would quit my job forthwith. I would have servants and tons of pets with a caretaker to see to their needs. I would have a law firm bought and paid for to distribute funds as needed to poor people and countries. I would have an executive physical and get all those pesky tests out of the way in one fell swoop. I would consider some cosmetic surgery. I would host a huge family reunion for both sides of our family. That’s if I win. If you win and don’t have any plans for doing good I say go for it. ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/24 "2018-10-22T01:30:06Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Buy a thousand exotics pets, like llamas or emus. Or a thousand fur coats (but not real fur coats; that’s cruel) ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/25 "2018-10-22T01:33:59Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > …but I Am Not a Financial Adviser or a Lawyer. Very wise of you to put this in your post just in case \*\*Spud \*\*does win a billion and it turns out that placing it in a family trust actually has no effect whatsoever on inheritance taxes so he initiates a lawsuit because you told him on an internet message board that you think family trusts do, indeed, eliminate inheritance taxes. And if there is any question at all, the fact that you wisely capitalized your disclaimer will weigh heavily in your favor. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/26 "2018-10-22T02:07:02Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Buy a thousand exotics pets, like llamas or emus. > [@Spud](#): > > First of all I’d start to get bored after 312… and llamas and emus? Come on those are so mundane. I’m thinking albino orangutans, toy gorillas, and things along those lines. Haven’t you always wanted a monkey? ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/27 "2018-10-22T02:18:41Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Haven’t you always wanted a monkey? Of course… as long as it can juggle. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/28 "2018-10-22T02:21:16Z")
You know that feeling when you have plenty of money in the bank? The bills are paid and everything is in working order. You could go shopping or take a trip. But you really don’t want to. I would be afraid I would feel like that the rest of my life. It builds character to want something enough to work hard for it. Nah. I’d blow the hell out of it. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/29 "2018-10-22T02:26:23Z")
> [@Spud](#): > > i specifically said I didn’t want to use it for good, so philanthropy and orphan drug funds are right out. :). What else is there? What does money buy? Time/convenience, resiliency, power/influence, luxury. Stuff like that. If you don’t want to spend it on influence (by funding charity or science), what else is there? Time and convenience are nice, but you don’t need a billion dollars to buy time. You can fly a helicopter around town instead of drive. Have a private plane instead of fly commercial. Have other people cook and clean for you. Never go to work again. That doesn’t require a billion. You can do that with 10-20 million. Resiliency again is nice, but you don’t need a billion. When climate change floods the coasts you’ll have food and a mansion hundreds of miles from the coasts, but so will lots of other people. And millionaires get rich in recessions (while the rest of us are scared of being laid off) just like billionaires. So that leaves luxury. But again, luxury doesn’t require a billion dollars. Is a 300 foot yacht really better than a sixty foot yacht? Do you need five private planes instead of one? A twenty bedroom mansion instead of a seven bedroom one? I don’t have an answer. I wouldn’t know what to spend a billion dollars on if charity, politics and science are off the table. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/30 "2018-10-22T02:44:41Z")
Mid 50’s so not as early a retirement as I would have liked, but I guess I can make do. Time to indulge my hobbies. Antique auto restoration. The wood shop is getting a major upgrade. Same for the tech shop. I’ll be needing a walk in gun vault. I’ll be doing some considerable research before deciding on charitable donations and research grants. And a scholarship fund of some sort. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/31 "2018-10-22T02:46:51Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > And a business jet; a Gulfstream or the like. I don’t fly. Especially General Aviation. With that kind of money, I’d just make everybody relocated closer to me. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/32 "2018-10-22T02:54:22Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Very wise of you to put this in your post just in case \*\*Spud \*\*does win a billion and it turns out that placing it in a family trust actually has no effect whatsoever on inheritance taxes so he initiates a lawsuit because you told him on an internet message board that you think family trusts do, indeed, eliminate inheritance taxes. > > And if there is any question at all, the fact that you wisely capitalized your disclaimer will weigh heavily in your favor. > mmm I didn’t say eliminate. I said that I thought they wouldn’t be huge. Or at least, not as huge as they would be without the family trust. But that is, after all, what the excellent lawyer and financial advisers are FOR, was to give good advice about how to set things up to your advantage. Getting at least one of each be my first action after finding out I won (yes, even before calling my family). Mind you, somewhere in there I’d be buying a large piece of land, building an ecofast house built to resist hurricanes, tornadoes, fires, and flooding along with as many redundant house systems in it as I can think of, with the centerpiece/main living area a huge library that I would fill with about a quarter million or so books plus several comfy chairs and couches. And then I would read. ---
**Author:** ![PoppaSan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/poppasan/32/189_2.png) [@PoppaSan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoppaSan)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/33 "2018-10-22T03:05:29Z")
I have a wife, and an old house, and she would want to still live here. Ultimate fixer upper. Problem solved. ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/34 "2018-10-22T03:47:35Z")
Yeah, you can get a pretty good wife upgrade for a billion dollars. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/35 "2018-10-22T04:56:38Z")
> [@markn\_1](#): > > Yeah, you can get a pretty good wife upgrade for a billion dollars. I’ve got a bumpersticker that says,\* “I got a Vintage Motorcycle for my Wife. Pretty good trade, huh?”\* 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/36 "2018-10-22T05:17:00Z")
Blow half your money [on an island.](https://www.privateislandsonline.com/asia/united-arab-emirates/al-marjan-island) ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/37 "2018-10-22T05:21:27Z")
I’d hire a driver. A 24/7 driver, which would pretty much mean a company of drivers. There would always be one parked on the curb outside my house, just in case I need them. That way, I would never have to be sober again. ---
**Author:** ![Ashtura](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ashtura/32/2963_2.png) [@Ashtura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashtura)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/38 "2018-10-22T05:22:03Z")
Endless Hookers and blow until I ODed or died of a horrible venereal disease. Just kidding. I’do probably buy an amazing multi million dollar house in a place with perfect weather, a few nice cars and a lot of toys… Do a lot of traveling, by private jet of course… Typical nouveau riche stuff. Give a few hundred grand each to the people closest to me (or equivalent in practical items of I was worried about them spending it unwisely). Then get a good money manger and invest the rest. There are few causes I currently care much about so I’d probably wait for the inevitable flood of convincing suggestions before I thought too much about philanthropy. I would definitely want my family to be set for several generations. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/39 "2018-10-22T06:17:48Z")
I’d support creative people. I’ve gone round and round and back and forth on how I’d do that, as my life devolves and my thoughts both get more wild and desperate, and also more empathetic and politically motivated, but it usually involves starting a production company and hiring a lot of the talented creative people I have known but have had a crap time of establishing a reliable career. I’d fix that right up. Or maybe I’d buy loads of beach houses and yachts, I dunno. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/40 "2018-10-22T11:36:33Z")
Buy a variety of politicians of different persuasions and watch them fight it out, seeking your favor. You could probably afford a few judges, too. The entire government would devolve to total pandemonium!! Insanity!! Chaos would ensue!! Dogs and cats living together!!! You could pass all the laws you want - like banning green M&Ms or requiring all men over 6’2" to wear stiletto heels. The possibilities are endless. And you could buy me a puppy, too. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304.md?page=3)