# What should I do with a billion dollars? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 21, 2018, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304 "2018-10-21T21:13:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/41 "2018-10-22T12:24:45Z")
The obvious thing to do would be to buy every man, woman and child living in Sri Lanka their very own [Hohner Blues harp](https://www.amazon.com/Hohner-532BX-C-Blues-Harp-Major/dp/B007J4AHLC). Think of it as a cultural contribution on a global scale. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/42 "2018-10-22T12:32:53Z")
Buy a small mountain, have it carved into a sculpture of your face. Or Bart Simpson’s face, whatever floats your boat. Or buy a whole hundreds-mile-long strip of farmland in some empty state, hire some [Japanese rice paddy farmers/artists](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rice_paddy_art)to do sequential frames of a storyboard, and fly over it with a plane equipped with a shutter mechanism to make an animated movie…preferably something silly. Unfortunately, a mere _one_ billion isn’t quite pyramid-building money, though. You’d need to win at least 4 more of the things ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/43 "2018-10-22T14:33:40Z")
Buy the Washington Redskins. Change the name to the Washington Honkies. Visit the town of Twatt, Shetland, Scotland. Visit the town of Twatt, Orkney, Scotland. Find a worthy gentleman, with family roots in both communities. [del]Bribe[/del] Persuade the Crown to make him a Lord of Parliament. ---
**Author:** ![PAjoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pajoe/32/58_2.png) [@PAjoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PAjoe)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/44 "2018-10-22T14:34:11Z")
If you’re really against doing good then run for president. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/45 "2018-10-22T14:52:11Z")
[Capt. BuzzKil] Actually the 1.6 Billion drawing will net you a $904 million payout…BEFORE TAXES. Then Uncle Sam grabs 40% and you are left with around $550 Million Hopefully with that you can still afford your groceries. [/Capt. BuzzKil] ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/46 "2018-10-22T14:52:13Z")
What should you do with a thousand megabucks? Give me $250,000. You know, for pointing you to Gibson & Barnes. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Jumpbass](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jumpbass/32/147_2.png) [@Jumpbass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jumpbass)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/47 "2018-10-22T14:53:26Z")
> [@PAjoe](#): > > If you’re really against doing good then run for president. I think you win. As for me, I’d get a better house, better houses for my family and close friends and buy musical instruments. I want to conduct a full symphony orchestra. Not just once, but regularly, so I guess I’d buy one and put them on a salary. Build a symphony hall. You know, next to the garage. ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/48 "2018-10-22T14:54:27Z")
Buy a billion lottery tickets. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/49 "2018-10-22T15:20:15Z")
Work up a sweat each day in an attempt to spend it. ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/50 "2018-10-22T16:40:16Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > Find an excellent lawyer and a financial adviser I expect some challenge in finding one, as less-than-excellent ones will likely crawling out of the woodwork after a big win like that. I.e., I doubt many dopers currently have need for the skillset that a big jackpot winner will need. ---
**Author:** ![Ashtura](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ashtura/32/2963_2.png) [@Ashtura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashtura)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/51 "2018-10-22T16:52:09Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > Convert it all to pennies and count one penny per second for the next 3168.8 years. Why should Scrooge McDuck have all the fun? Yeah you’d at least need a swimming pool full first. [This guy predicts that would only cost around $238 million](https://www.quora.com/Duck-Tales-How-many-pennies-would-be-needed-to-recreate-Uncle-Scrooges-swimming-pool), so you’d have some money left over, and obviously you could never count $238 million in pennies. That would take at least 60 years, and if you’re the average doper you don’t have that much time left. ☹ You’d also have to get them at least _look_ gold first. [Probably the cheapest option.](https://www.sciencecompany.com/Turn-Copper-Pennies-Into-Silver-and-Gold-Pennies.aspx) I doubt a billion dollars could get them gold leafed, but I could be wrong. Then of couse, you have to dive in them. ---
**Author:** ![peedin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peedin/32/14095_2.png) [@peedin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peedin)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/52 "2018-10-22T17:06:54Z")
A billion is a thousand million, right? I would pay off the mortgages and school loans of all my friends, and if some friends didn’t own homes, I would buy them houses. I would pay all taxes and utilities. I would buy 2 houses in Scotland (one for me, and one for my friends) and two in France. I would buy a horse farm somewhere in the states and hire the current manager of my boarding barn to run it. I would give my niece and nephew and their families a couple of million. I would give a couple million to my favorite charities. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/53 "2018-10-22T17:25:14Z")
> [@peedin](#): > > A billion is a thousand million, right? I would pay off the mortgages and school loans of all my friends, and if some friends didn’t own homes, I would buy them houses. I would pay all taxes and utilities. I would buy 2 houses in Scotland (one for me, and one for my friends) and two in France. I would buy a horse farm somewhere in the states and hire the current manager of my boarding barn to run it. I would give my niece and nephew and their families a couple of million. I would give a couple million to my favorite charities. The OP specifically said no charities or helping others-he wants to blow it on selfish stuff. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/54 "2018-10-22T17:28:29Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > The OP specifically said no charities or helping others-he wants to blow it on selfish stuff. And that’s a difficult, noble feat. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/55 "2018-10-22T17:29:03Z")
I would pay for the development of cats-specifically, making them smarter and giving them opposable thumbs. Nothing good will come of this, I assure you. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/56 "2018-10-22T17:43:42Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > Why should Scrooge McDuck have all the fun? > [@Ashtura](#): > > Yeah you’d at least need a swimming pool full first. > > [This guy predicts that would only cost around $238 million](https://www.quora.com/Duck-Tales-How-many-pennies-would-be-needed-to-recreate-Uncle-Scrooges-swimming-pool), so you’d have some money left over, and obviously you could never count $238 million in pennies. That would take at least 60 years, and if you’re the average doper you don’t have that much time left. ☹ > > You’d also have to get them at least _look_ gold first. > > [Probably the cheapest option.](https://www.sciencecompany.com/Turn-Copper-Pennies-Into-Silver-and-Gold-Pennies.aspx) I doubt a billion dollars could get them gold leafed, but I could be wrong. > > Then of couse, you have to dive in them. Family Guy has explored certain practical considerations with a Scrooge McDuck swiming pool. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/viDL2W0HcJw/maxresdefault.jpg "Family Guy - Dive Into Gold Coins [HD]") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viDL2W0HcJw) ---
**Author:** ![Ashtura](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ashtura/32/2963_2.png) [@Ashtura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashtura)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/57 "2018-10-22T18:26:49Z")
[quote=“Riemann, post:56, topic:823304”] Family Guy has explored certain practical considerations with a Scrooge McDuck swiming pool. [/QUOTE] LOL, yeah, after I typed that I figured you’d probably also need to build a real life Iron Man suit in order to actually swim in it. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/58 "2018-10-22T19:31:43Z")
I think I’d try being an Agent of Chaos. Announce that I will be dropping $1 million over a spot in the desert. 1 hour before the drop, specify the location. Then dump $1 million in small bills out of an airplane, loose. Watch the base instincts play out. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/59 "2018-10-22T22:20:46Z")
> [@peedin](#): > > A billion is a thousand million, right? I would pay off the mortgages and school loans of all my friends, and if some friends didn’t own homes, I would buy them houses. I would pay all taxes and utilities. I would buy 2 houses in Scotland (one for me, and one for my friends) and two in France. I would buy a horse farm somewhere in the states and hire the current manager of my boarding barn to run it. I would give my niece and nephew and their families a couple of million. I would give a couple million to my favorite charities. Yeah that’d be a nice thing to do. Pay off the debt and buy houses for a wide range of friends and family. It wouldn’t even cost that much (for a billionaire), probably a few million. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2018, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304/60 "2018-10-22T22:22:40Z")
Louis CK on what he’d do with billions of dollars. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/gO9PwbtlOIU/hqdefault.jpg "Louis CK - Bill Gates") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gO9PwbtlOIU) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-billion-dollars/823304.md?page=4)