# What should I do with a captured raccoon? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 14, 2012, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-captured-raccoon/631479 "2012-08-14T16:28:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![applebetty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4af34b/32.png) [@applebetty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/applebetty)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-captured-raccoon/631479/21 "2012-08-15T01:07:21Z")
According to some elderly ladies I have worked with, “Coon and Taters.” Soak 8-12 hours in milk, roast with potatoes, make gravy from drippings. You probably want to skin and gut it first. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-captured-raccoon/631479/22 "2012-08-15T01:46:28Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > I’m not sure what a wildlife “rehabilitator” is. Do they hold interventions? Arrange varmint group therapy? Really? :dubious: [Wildlife rehabilitation](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wildlife_rehabilitation) > [@](#): > > Wildlife rehabilitation is the process of removing from the wild and caring for injured, orphaned, or sick wild animals. The goal of wildlife rehabilitation is to provide the food, housing and medical care of these animals, returning them to the wild after treatment. > > Rehabilitation begins when an animal is found and reported to a wildlife rehabilitator. Now, it’s probably likely the varmint is perfectly healthy, but they can check him, and if he’s ill, they could treat him or humanely euthanize him. If he’s healthy, they can release him in a manner consistent with state wildlife laws. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-captured-raccoon/631479/23 "2012-08-15T03:38:13Z")
> [@Enocavy](#): > > Domesticate him. He can sit in the good chair in the family room, eat peanuts, and watch TV with the rest of the household. \*Born to Jackmanii of the SDMB Greenest Board in the Land of the Free Raized down his corn (all that he could see) Chittered in the trap like Repubs on TV. Racky! Racky-Manii! Rodent that Don’t Know Fear!!! Fought single handed through the garbage can Whooped Rats, Opposum, and Wednesday Spam! left a nest of babies in a neighbor’s van, Afore being posted through co-axial LAN. Racky! Racky-Manii! Known through Far and Near! Racky found the garbage was a treasure-trove. so into polly-ticks his fur just dove! He dumped more trash than that Squirrely Rove Bit the Tea-Party Hacks like chicken on a stove… Racky! Racky-Manii! His den’s filled with half your gear! Back from the Dump, thinks politickin’s fun But would Skunk-Striped Mitt give a VP-run? When the lyin’ stopped at Ryan, knew he was Done. (he’ll still bang Palin/Bachmann as a ‘Favorite Son’!) Racky! Racky-Manii! Don’t care when humping a rear…\* ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-captured-raccoon/631479/24 "2012-08-15T03:50:39Z")
Goddamit. Now my kids are awake. ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-captured-raccoon/631479/25 "2012-08-15T03:55:43Z")
Oh, and OP: I’ve been in your situation lots of times. My solution is a .17 HMR, with the blessing of dept. of Fish & Wildlife. I have fruit trees in my property, the bastards can decimate a crop overnight. They are also very effective cat- and dog-killing machines. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-captured-raccoon/631479/26 "2012-08-15T05:02:58Z")
Release it in New Zealand. If he finds his way back to your house you must adopt it. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-captured-raccoon/631479/27 "2012-08-15T05:06:09Z")
Adult raccoons are not possible to domesticate, juveniles are cute and cuddly but once puberty hits they are vicious and nasty. I’ve known a couple of people that have tried to keep baby raccoons with not one success story. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-captured-raccoon/631479/28 "2012-08-15T14:18:10Z")
So as not to leave this hanging - last night I went out with my pistol, shot the raccoon and cremated it. Not really. I carried the trap and its sizable occupant out a ways to the border of a farm field and woods and released him. As soon as I started raising the hatch and he got a glimpse of freedom, he bolted out of there and into the brush at high speed, not even stopping to thank me for the grapes and bagel bits Mrs. J. fed him (it would have been a nice touch to leave him Gideon’s Bible too, but he just would have chewed it up). Thanks to **Count** for the song, but the tune (naturally) going through my head today is “Rocky Raccoon”. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-captured-raccoon/631479/29 "2012-08-15T14:33:44Z")
I remember back during college occasionally seeing this elderly fella that drove probably an old Model A, green in color, and there was a coon that would be hanging halfway out the driver’s side window just enjoying the fresh air and the view. It was a little startling back then but now, thinking back on it, it 's even more bizarre still. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-captured-raccoon/631479/30 "2012-08-15T15:00:50Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Thanks to **Count** for the song, but the tune (naturally) going through my head today is “Rocky Raccoon”. Well, the optional last verse would have been too sad for Disney anyway: \*Next he went a skitterin’ to the settin’ sun. To stop all immigration at the point of a gun! Got a short rope drop to some hot oil fun, (served with smashed-taters, hot-sauce & an optional bun!) Racky! Racky-manii! Bein’ wiped… offa… somebody’s… rear… :(\* ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-captured-raccoon/631479/31 "2012-08-15T15:54:23Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Not really. I carried the trap and its sizable occupant out a ways to the **border of a farm field** and woods and released him. So in other words, you made it some other farmer’s problem? Is your name Hatfield? Mr. McCoy is gonna be real pissed. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-captured-raccoon/631479/32 "2012-08-15T15:55:50Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > So in other words, you made it some other farmer’s problem? > Is your name Hatfield? Mr. McCoy is gonna be real pissed. The farmer will take care of business. That raccoon isn’t long for the world. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-captured-raccoon/631479/33 "2012-08-15T16:04:12Z")
Again, assuming the area you released the raccoon in is a good place for him to live, there are undoubtedly LOTS of other raccoons living there already, and you just dropped him into another coon’s territory. That other coon isn’t going to welcome his new neighbor with open arms. A bloody fight is all but certain. ---
**Author:** ![doorhinge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a5b964/32.png) [@doorhinge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doorhinge)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-captured-raccoon/631479/34 "2012-08-15T16:21:04Z")
Take it to the zoo. If that goes well, you could take it the beach the following day. With a little training, you might eventually be able to take it to a movie theater. Don’t hide it in your pants and let it poke its head out to eat your popcorn. Somebody did that with a chicken once and people are still telling that story. hehehe. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-captured-raccoon/631479/35 "2012-08-15T16:29:37Z")
> [@Sudden\_Kestrel](#): > > Release raccoon; where is irrelevant. Purchase electric fencing to deter all subsequent corn thieves. This. If you kill or move this raccoon today, you will have dozens more targeting your sweet corn tonight. I’ve seen farmers plant a few rows of sweet corn in the middle of acres of field corn, and the 'coons just run right down those rows, leaving the rest untouched. Setting up an electric fence that will deter raccoons is pretty easy. Buy a fence controller ($25-$35), a box or bag of insulators ($10), and a few hundred feet of wire or, better yet, conductive cloth tape. Buy some two-foot stakes, and put two rows of wire, about four and eight inches off the ground. Put a stake every eight feet or so. Keep the grass trimmed under the fence, and teach your kids not to touch the wires. That’s it. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-captured-raccoon/631479/36 "2012-08-15T16:33:04Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > Again, assuming the area you released the raccoon in is a good place for him to live, there are undoubtedly LOTS of other raccoons living there already, and you just dropped him into another coon’s territory. > > That other coon isn’t going to welcome his new neighbor with open arms. A bloody fight is all but certain. [60% of relocated raccoons don’t survive](http://cfhs.ca/wild/raccoons/). Don’t care. I take them to the same spot every time and let them out. Plus, I’m always skeptical of the word “studies” without any supporting docutmentation. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-captured-raccoon/631479/37 "2012-08-15T16:42:04Z")
> [@doorhinge](#): > > Take it to the zoo. If that goes well, you could take it the beach the following day. With a little training, you might eventually be able to take it to a movie theater. Don’t hide it in your pants and let it poke its head out to eat your popcorn. Somebody did that with a chicken once and people are still telling that story. hehehe. Rolypoly raccoons are never seen drinking cappuccinos in Italian restaurants with oriental women! ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-captured-raccoon/631479/38 "2012-08-15T16:52:34Z")
If you’re looking for a little friend, you can name him George and hug him and squeeze him. ---
**Author:** ![ducati](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cc9497/32.png) [@ducati](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ducati)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-captured-raccoon/631479/39 "2012-08-15T17:12:49Z")
I keep telling you city kids that need to euthanize something in the yard - get a suppressed .22 .17 HMR is great, but not subsonic. [Here’s the difference](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7chrgtPYDY&feature=related) between waking the neighbors, and solving a problem quietly and privately. I’m not saying it’s the option to relocation. Just AN option. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-captured-raccoon/631479/40 "2012-08-15T18:23:40Z")
\*What should we do with a captured racoon? What should we do with a captured racoon? What should we do with a captured racoon? Early in the morning Way hay and up she rises, Way hay and up she rises, Way hay and up she rises, Early in the morning! Shave his belly with a rusty razor, Shave his belly with a rusty razor, Shave his belly with a rusty razor, Early in the morning! Way hay and up she rises, Way hay and up she rises, Way hay and up she rises, Early in the morning! Take him to the woods and then release him, Take him to the woods and then release him, Take him to the woods and then release him, Early in the morning! Way hay and up she rises, Way hay and up she rises, Way hay and up she rises, Early in the morning! Find him next day tucking into your sweetcorn, Find him next day tucking into your sweetcorn, Find him next day tucking into your sweetcorn, Early in the morning! Way hay and up she rises, Way hay and up she rises, Way hay and up she rises, Early in the morning! \* [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-captured-raccoon/631479.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-do-with-a-captured-raccoon/631479.md?page=3)