# What should I have done? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 16, 2018, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-have-done/808908 "2018-02-16T02:45:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![D\_Anconia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@D\_Anconia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Anconia)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2018, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-have-done/808908/41 "2018-02-18T07:58:42Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > FFS, how do I even know if they’re addicts? You’re making an awful lot of assumptions. :rolleyes: Did you read the OP? > [@](#): > > The guy and the woman were slumped over, just like the videos I’ve seen of overdoses. I nudged the guy a couple of times (ending with a pretty decent poke) and he finally roused. I gave him the meat and he said thank you, and slowly started to put it in his backback. I was stuck in my parking spot for a while, because an older couple next to me were loading their car. Then I saw him wave at me. Not a “hey, come here” wave, just a “bye” kind of wave, as he hauled the girl up so she was propped up next to him sitting against the wall. Being kicked out of the house for a nose ring doesn’t cause one to slump over and become unresponsive outside of a grocery store, FFS. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2018, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-have-done/808908/42 "2018-02-18T08:19:14Z")
> [@D\_Anconia](#): > > Cite in support of my claim: > > [https://www.promises.com/articles/addiction-treatment/should-families-of-drug-addicts-try-financial-tough-love/](https://www.promises.com/articles/addiction-treatment/should-families-of-drug-addicts-try-financial-tough-love/) More from that site: > [@](#): > > Nestled in the picturesque Santa Monica Mountains with a gorgeous panoramic view of the Pacific Ocean, Promises Malibu treatment center offers an unparalleled recovery experience. You’ll enjoy breathtaking views in a peaceful and inspiring environment on two family estates in the hills of Malibu. > > Some of the amenities you’ll find at our California luxury rehab include: > > Gourmet mealsPhone and internet accessSwimming pools and JacuzzisTennis courtGarden and numerous meditation areas for quiet reflectionPrivate rooms and suites (additional charge)ChefOcean viewsLaundry servicesTransportation servicesCleaning servicesGated community > Promises Malibu is tucked away in a private, gated community to help remove the distractions of everyday life and allow you to concentrate on getting better. With the mountains and ocean in your backyard, there are countless opportunities for outdoor activities including rock climbing and hiking. But if you wish to get pedantic about it, I’ll grant you that they do not offer frozen hamburgers. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2018, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-have-done/808908/43 "2018-02-18T16:51:00Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > I don’t see where allowing _anyone_ to starve has any place in a supposedly civilized society. Starving an addict doesn’t cause them to seek help. If anything, it causes them to make worse decisions in order to not feel the hunger. Indeed. I have no moral qualm about giving drug addicts food. I’m not going to let someone go hungry, no matter their circumstance, if I can help it. If that makes me an enabling asshole, big fucking deal. (But, no, I actually think that is the moral thing to do.) OP: You did what you could, and I don’t think you did anything wrong, nor was there much more you can do. You did well. Wish we had more people like you. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2018, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-have-done/808908/44 "2018-02-18T19:48:32Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Don’t know what else you could do. Calling 911 would just get them rousted, unlikely to improve the quality of their lives. If they hadn’t responded to your poke it would be a different matter. I agree; they were lucid and communicating shortly before. Someone more savvy than I would have to comment on whether they would use in such a public place. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2018, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-have-done/808908/45 "2018-02-18T19:57:02Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > I agree; they were lucid and communicating shortly before. Someone more savvy than I would have to comment on whether they would use in such a public place. “Using” might not necessarily involve cooking and shooting up. The way I understand it, opiate withdrawal is an extremely unpleasant episode where the person wants to tear their own skin off because of the intense discomfort. They might have swallowed some OxyContin or who knows what to stave off the bad times – just read _Naked Lunch_ (if you can handle it) to get an idea of the extent to which people will go to avoid coming down hard. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2018, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-have-done/808908/46 "2018-02-18T21:36:41Z")
> [@D\_Anconia](#): > > No, it’s NOT your business to insert yourself into someone’s addiction, or their family dynamics. If someone ASKS me for hamburgers, I’m not inserting myself anywhere, I am being invited. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Anconia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@D\_Anconia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Anconia)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2018, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-have-done/808908/47 "2018-02-18T23:33:34Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > More from that site: So you don’t like the cite. Ok, fine. Rieman’s cite is for a place that offers Christian based rehab in Nashville TN. Is that OK with you? Or do you prefer something more science-based? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2018, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-have-done/808908/48 "2018-02-19T00:00:51Z")
> [@D\_Anconia](#): > > No, it’s NOT your business to insert yourself into someone’s addiction, or their family dynamics. But it IS your business to judge Guinastasia’s behavior? That Christian rehab site isn’t one selling people to chicken processing plants, is it? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2018, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-have-done/808908/49 "2018-02-19T00:53:39Z")
I donate and give of myself, by volunteerism nearly every week of the year. I try ( I said TRY) not to make judgements of the people and places I work for or give to. The point is to give ‘freely’. If you cannot accomplish that maybe you need to not do that thing. I admit I am afraid of ‘hobos’ or I guess ‘transient peoples’ is the correct term. So I don’t engage them. I am not against others helping them. I can’t feel good about giving to them myself, so I just don’t. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2018, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-have-done/808908/50 "2018-02-19T01:34:33Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I donate and give of myself, by volunteerism nearly every week of the year. I try ( I said TRY) not to make judgements of the people and places I work for or give to. > The point is to give ‘freely’. If you cannot accomplish that maybe you need to not do that thing. > I admit I am afraid of ‘hobos’ or I guess ‘transient peoples’ is the correct term. So I don’t engage them. I am not against others helping them. I can’t feel good about giving to them myself, so I just don’t. YMMV. I try not to be judgmental of people with a large amount of expensive material goods. I fail miserably, and I don’t even call myself Christian anymore. We can only do our best and hope for forgiveness for the rest. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2018, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-have-done/808908/51 "2018-02-19T02:18:41Z")
Oh, I’m horribly judgemental. But that doesn’t mean I won’t try to help someone when the spirit moves me. I don’t give to street corner beggars, I don’t feel sorry for people holding signs. I don’t really even feel sorry for addicts. But I don’t want to see someone go hungry. My volunteerism tends to be more animal-related. My charitable donations (besides to animal charities) is to third-world poverty. I’d rather give money to an organization that feeds hungry schoolchildren in Malawi or Haiti than to someone who has an opportunity to better themselves and chooses not to. StG ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2018, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-have-done/808908/52 "2018-02-19T16:18:35Z")
> [@D\_Anconia](#): > > You realize that by buying them food, you’re effectively subsidizing their unhealthy drug habit, right? > [@D\_Anconia](#): > > If you buy them $20 worth of food, that leaves them with $20 to buy more drugs. Not the best idea. So…your solution to drug addiction is to… **starve people to death?** Color me appalled. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2018, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-have-done/808908/53 "2018-02-19T18:47:17Z")
Color ME not surprised. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2018, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-have-done/808908/54 "2018-02-19T18:54:31Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > So…your solution to drug addiction is to… **starve people to death?** > > Color me appalled. No, not really. The starving, destitute junkies will be forced to steal stuff in order to not starve and to get money for their fix. Apart from the fact that this would be showing initiative on their part (a good thing), we know that they will eventually get caught and put up in a five-bar hotel with plenty of food. No one is going to starve, and the police will have all the work they want. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-i-have-done/808908.md?page=2)