# what should you teach a 2 year old to call her private parts? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 20, 2008, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-you-teach-a-2-year-old-to-call-her-private-parts/468711 "2008-10-20T05:54:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Litoris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@Litoris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Litoris)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-you-teach-a-2-year-old-to-call-her-private-parts/468711/41 "2008-10-20T21:25:54Z")
My daughter was always taught the correct name for her private parts, but if we referred to it in public, it was her “business.” As in no one else’ business, only hers and everyone else needed to stay out of her business. We did the same with our son. Nothing wrong with a child feeling comfortable saying “penis,” “vagina,” or “vulva.” In fact, I find it beyond creepy when parents refuse to allow their kids to use the medical words – teaches the kids that it is something dirty and wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-you-teach-a-2-year-old-to-call-her-private-parts/468711/42 "2008-10-20T21:34:00Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > And, if we are feeling pedantic, “groin” is the part where your leg meets your wiggedy snappit, not the vulva itself. So it’s no more or less correct than “vagina”. “Crotch”, I’ll grant, although it sounds vulgar. Dictionary: groin 1. Anatomy. The crease or hollow at the junction of the inner part of each thigh with the trunk, together with the adjacent region and \*\* often including the external genitals.\*\* Dictionary: vagina 2. Anatomy. ---
**Author:** ![spoike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@spoike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spoike)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-you-teach-a-2-year-old-to-call-her-private-parts/468711/43 "2008-10-20T21:39:44Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Though they still don’t offer what those “proper names” are, I notice! I assume they figure that you already know them. There are other [links](http://www.ewashtenaw.org/living/child_advocacy_center/families/parent_guide.html) that do use the [actual names](http://www.theadvocacycenter.org/adv_abuseprevent.html). Page 7 of this [PDF](http://www.stopitnow.com/downloads/Prevent_CSA.pdf) from Stop It Now mentions them as well. (That PDF is not all that much fun to read, for the record.) I can give you more links if you need them. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-you-teach-a-2-year-old-to-call-her-private-parts/468711/44 "2008-10-20T21:55:31Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > Dictionary: > groin > > 1. Anatomy. The crease or hollow at the junction of the inner part of each thigh with the trunk, together with the adjacent region and \*\* often including the external genitals.\*\* Not medically it’s not. [Groin: In anatomy, the area where the upper thigh meets the trunk. More precisely, the fold or depression marking the juncture of the lower abdomen and the inner part of the thigh. In sports medicine, “groin injuries” are well known in pages of the sports section of newspapers. Etymology: The word “groin” is thought to have come from the Old English “grynde” meaning an abyss or trench. The groin forms a sort of trench when the thigh is flexed.]([http://www.medterms.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=3637](http://www.medterms.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=3637)) [groin \ The area where the thigh meets the hip.]([http://cancerweb.ncl.ac.uk/cgi-bin/omd?groin](http://cancerweb.ncl.ac.uk/cgi-bin/omd?groin)) As this wonderful essay [“V is For Vulva, Not Just Vagina”](http://www2.ljworld.com/news/2003/may/04/v_is_for/) points out, "Most of us were raised on some variation of “boys have a penis and girls have a vagina.”…I’ve now interviewed hundreds of mostly white middle-class parents, and the vast majority misuse the word vagina to refer to “everything girls have.” I’m all for raising vulvar awareness, it’s one of the other terms I’ve begun introducing, and I think her point about the “linguistic excision and ablation” in our culture is a fascinating one. But I’m surprised there’s any question that “vagina” is the most widely accepted non slang term for the vulva. It’s in the movie Kindergarten Cop, for goodness’ sakes! [QUOTE=spoike] I assume they figure that you already know them. [/QUOTE] Thanks darling, I teach women’s sexual health classes. I know more terms for “them” than you can possibly imagine. But it seems funny to me that they’re suggesting using the “proper terms” as a way to empower children, but they don’t do it on their website. They assume that parents don’t know they should teach their kids to find out who’s at the door before opening it or that preschoolers shouldn’t be left at home alone, but they know “the proper terms” for genitals? Why spell out the first two and not the last? If things are shifting towards “vuvla” instead of “vagina”, that’s great! But it’s also news to me. Maybe because I work with a young adult/adult population, and we’re talking toddlers here. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-you-teach-a-2-year-old-to-call-her-private-parts/468711/45 "2008-10-20T21:57:35Z")
We taught our kids the proper names for their genitalia. You don’t have a cute euphemism for her elbow or nose, do you? Why wouldn’t you do the same thing with her genitalia? ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-you-teach-a-2-year-old-to-call-her-private-parts/468711/46 "2008-10-20T22:04:14Z")
And moreover, why is it ok to call a penis a penis, but a vulva is a “girl part”? Drives me nuts! ---
**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-you-teach-a-2-year-old-to-call-her-private-parts/468711/47 "2008-10-20T22:34:19Z")
Oh, good God. I was taught to call my genitals a vagina as soon as I could understand adult language. My nipples were nipples. Et cetera. I honestly think it’s silly to have kids call their “private parts” goofy names. Calling them private parts is goofy too, I think. But I guess it’s up to the parents, after all. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-you-teach-a-2-year-old-to-call-her-private-parts/468711/48 "2008-10-20T23:01:32Z")
My Sex Education Story. Back when I was getting my 15 minutes of sex education during the glorious education I received at a Catholic High School, our science teacher was showing a slide show with charcoal drawings of the female naughty bits. Now, any girl who is menstruating and has tried to figure out what the hell to do with a tampon for the first time and the tiny instruction leaflet will get a pretty good idea of what goes where from that drawing. That drawing was far superior from whatever it was we girls and boys were looking at on that day back in the early 80’s. She pronounced Va-gi-na as VAG-Knee-A. And us girls all exchanged looks, because we were pretty sure it wasn’t pronounced like that, but none of our mother’s had told us anything. YAY for repressed white wimmen! Boys looked over at us to get a clue and we all just gave a shrug of helplessness. Our teacher, in her 20’s and married, was really embarrassed to be teaching us about sex and couldn’t even look at us as her face was bright red. So, the slide show clicks forward and we see a charcoal drawing of the male unit in a relaxed state. The teacher called it a Pen-is. Now, when you are 13 or 14 and getting THE TALK, it is funny how you really pay attention. When you are 90% sure the teacher is pronouncing it wrong, all of us girls looks around and one of the guys looked over at us and shook his head, to confirm our suspicisions. As our mortified teacher went on ( God knows what she was saying.) I whispered rather loudly and sarcastically, " No, it’s not PEE-NIS. Mrs. Whatever said it’s Pen-is…just like Dennis." And Dennis in our class had an unfortunate nickname for some time. The sex ed class stopped when the slide show clicked to the picture of an erect drawing of a Pen-is and the guys erupted in laughter. And we never had another discussion about hoo-hahs, boobage and weeners again. BOT: In private, the equipment is referred to by their proper names. In public, it is referred to as Their Special Features or Wedding Tackle ( for my son.) ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-you-teach-a-2-year-old-to-call-her-private-parts/468711/49 "2008-10-20T23:16:10Z")
When really young, it was “family jewels” or my “wee-wee-er.” Mom was a nurse though, so I had to learn the real names for things soon enough. Speaking of Catholic school - I guess I went to pretty liberal ones. We got sex-ed in 7th grade, taught by our nun biology teacher, and I distinctly remember the video she showed us. It was of a real man and woman, but filmed with some sort of infrared type color so it had a sort of “sciencey” look to it. But she showed us a man putting his penis into a woman, and pumping to climax. And that, boys and girls, is how babies get made. One guy ran out of the class to go throw up. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-you-teach-a-2-year-old-to-call-her-private-parts/468711/50 "2008-10-20T23:41:42Z")
In my family we refer to it is “The Chasm Of Infinite Sorrow”. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-you-teach-a-2-year-old-to-call-her-private-parts/468711/51 "2008-10-20T23:43:15Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > We taught our kids the proper names for their genitalia. You don’t have a cute euphemism for her elbow or nose, do you? Why wouldn’t you do the same thing with her genitalia? Not everything is the same as everything else. Why should it be? My elbows and nose enjoy frequent public exposure - why wouldn’t I do the same thing with my genitalia? ---
**Author:** ![spoike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@spoike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spoike)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-you-teach-a-2-year-old-to-call-her-private-parts/468711/52 "2008-10-21T00:04:10Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Thanks darling, I teach women’s sexual health classes. I know more terms for “them” than you can possibly imagine. But it seems funny to me that they’re suggesting using the “proper terms” as a way to empower children, but they don’t do it on their website. They assume that parents don’t know they should teach their kids to find out who’s at the door before opening it or that preschoolers shouldn’t be left at home alone, but they know “the proper terms” for genitals? Why spell out the first two and not the last? Your point is a great one, and one with which I agree wholeheartedly. However, said point was not particularly apparent to me when you wrote: > [@WhyNot](#): > > Though they still don’t offer what those “proper names” are, I notice! I suspect I misinterpreted your post, because as far as I can tell, we are on the same side here (although I do assume your usage of ‘darling’ was not meant to be friendly). At any rate, my apologies for the misinterpretation. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-you-teach-a-2-year-old-to-call-her-private-parts/468711/53 "2008-10-21T01:04:16Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Not everything is the same as everything else. Why should it be? My elbows and nose enjoy frequent public exposure - why wouldn’t I do the same thing with my genitalia? Oh, sure, use LOGIC. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-you-teach-a-2-year-old-to-call-her-private-parts/468711/54 "2008-10-21T01:23:25Z")
It’s either that, or expose myself. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-you-teach-a-2-year-old-to-call-her-private-parts/468711/55 "2008-10-21T01:39:54Z")
> [@spoike](#): > > I suspect I misinterpreted your post, because as far as I can tell, we are on the same side here (although I do assume your usage of ‘darling’ was not meant to be friendly). At any rate, my apologies for the misinterpretation. You’re right, and my apologies for being snarky. There’s no excuse for that. I should have rephrased myself more clearly without the sarcasm. ---
**Author:** ![mack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mack)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-you-teach-a-2-year-old-to-call-her-private-parts/468711/56 "2008-10-21T01:40:14Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > (I’m thinking ‘labia’ is harder for a toddler to pronounce). No, it’s quite easy. 😃 I think we started out with calling everything by it’s proper name but labia’s the one that stuck. So at this point it’s called a labia. ---
**Author:** ![Fubaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@Fubaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fubaya)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-you-teach-a-2-year-old-to-call-her-private-parts/468711/57 "2008-10-21T02:06:30Z")
Wow, I didn’t expect so many replies. Thanks everyone. I think I am going with peepee\* for now. I don’t know why I didn’t think of the word, I just drew a complete blank on the subject. It should be easiest to associate right now and I’m not trying to educate her of the entire workings of female genitalia at the moment. But I do have that mentally scheduled to work on in the next few months… just as soon as I figure it out myself. 😉 I think the first name for my penis was “my thing,” which I picked up at school. Now that I think about it, I think everyone I knew called it that. “He just got hit in the thing!” “Ow, makes my thing hurt just watching!” It probably just caught on locally after one kid started it, but it always worked for me. Although, if I had to give it a name now, it would be “_the_ thing.” :eek: > [@Harriet\_the\_Spry](#): > > While I understand your hesitation to talk about this stuff with your mom and sisters, I think you might be wise to get them involved in these “how to raise a girl” questions sooner rather than later. Because it will only get more complicated. We do talk about some things, but haven’t had the need to get into detail so far. Plus we’ve all had a rough year. My stepdad is having brain surgery and my sister has a premature baby to take care of, so neither have been able to help me out as much and they want. > [@phouka](#): > > No matter what word you teach your kids, they’re going to embarrass you with it. We just got back from the library where she shouted, not once, but twice, “Daddy I farted!” And heck, I don’t even know where she learned that word. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-you-teach-a-2-year-old-to-call-her-private-parts/468711/58 "2008-10-21T03:40:20Z")
> [@fessie](#): > > because I have b/g twins (and vagina rolls off the tongue better than vulva). Listen, it’s cool that you’re proud of your bi/gay girls but this thread isn’t about techniques, it’s about terms. Keep it clean! Seriously though, I vote for “vee vee” ---
**Author:** ![Influential\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Influential\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Influential_Panda)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-you-teach-a-2-year-old-to-call-her-private-parts/468711/59 "2008-10-21T03:49:35Z")
The “hoohoodilly” ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-should-you-teach-a-2-year-old-to-call-her-private-parts/468711/60 "2008-10-21T03:56:33Z")
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