# What Sid Meier has taught me **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 10, 2003, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sid-meier-has-taught-me/167771 "2003-04-10T13:06:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sid-meier-has-taught-me/167771/41 "2003-04-12T06:53:38Z")
Civ 1 taught me that wearing turquoise equates happiness, and wearing red means the opposite. ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sid-meier-has-taught-me/167771/42 "2003-04-12T06:54:43Z")
Oh, and Civ 3 taught me that all people in a moderately connected racial group (say, white europeans, the entire middle east, the Orient) look the exact same. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sid-meier-has-taught-me/167771/43 "2003-04-12T16:31:59Z")
> [@](#): > > ## quote: > > ## Originally posted by The Scrivener That if only you can get a spy to reach an enemy’s battleship, he can cut it down to half-strength, and he might even survive the mission! > > [Civ II Geek]She!. The Spy Unit in Civ II is female, the only identifiably female unit in the game.[/Civ II Geek] Yeah… that’s what he’d _like_ you to think! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sid-meier-has-taught-me/167771/44 "2003-04-12T16:50:06Z")
Sid once taught me personally a neat little tip for coding for the Commodore-64 (I’ve forgotten most of it). Sadly, this was in 1999 at a party. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Cheatem\_Undhow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/13edae/32.png) [@Dewey\_Cheatem\_Undhow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Cheatem_Undhow)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sid-meier-has-taught-me/167771/45 "2003-04-12T17:15:02Z")
Somewhere in the back of my mind, whenever I see the stories of looting in Baghdad on CNN, I think “of _course_ they’re in civil disorder – they just changed governments and they don’t have the Pyramids.” ---
**Author:** ![Spit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/76d3ee/32.png) [@Spit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spit)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sid-meier-has-taught-me/167771/46 "2003-04-12T17:25:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dewey Cheatem Undhow \* > \*\*Somewhere in the back of my mind, whenever I see the stories of looting in Baghdad on CNN, I think “of _course_ they’re in civil disorder – they just changed governments and they don’t have the Pyramids.” \*\* bwahaha. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sid-meier-has-taught-me/167771/47 "2003-04-12T17:31:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dewey Cheatem Undhow \* > \*\*Somewhere in the back of my mind, whenever I see the stories of looting in Baghdad on CNN, I think “of _course_ they’re in civil disorder – they just changed governments and they don’t have the Pyramids.” \*\* I was thinking along the same lines: If those Iraqis tear down the library, I’m not building them another one! ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sid-meier-has-taught-me/167771/48 "2003-04-12T19:16:00Z")
Yeah, I love those unhappy people. I think what it is is that the library and temples force them to be happy against their will, and thus they don’t _actually_ want them. ---
**Author:** ![chattywine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5daacb/32.png) [@chattywine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chattywine)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sid-meier-has-taught-me/167771/49 "2003-04-12T22:13:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dewey Cheatem Undhow \* > \*\*Somewhere in the back of my mind, whenever I see the stories of looting in Baghdad on CNN, I think “of _course_ they’re in civil disorder – they just changed governments and they don’t have the Pyramids.” \*\* HAHAHAHA ---
**Author:** ![Protesilaus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Protesilaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Protesilaus)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sid-meier-has-taught-me/167771/50 "2003-04-13T00:26:36Z")
Communism is actually good. Way better than democracy, even. People are happier, too. If you’re rich enough, you can just buy your enemy’s cities. Only people who live in the capital have any loyalty. It’s impossible to be upset when you can see Shakespeare performances. If you own a lighthouse, your ships will never be lost, even when they’re on the other side of the planet. Letting women vote makes people OK with going to war. If you provoke someone into declaring war on you by parking troops outside his cities and making demands, his reputation will suffer and yours won’t. When you try to dig mines on a plain, a forest will grow. Mutually Assured Destruction doesn’t work. Building Bach’s Cathedral will make four times as many people happy as curing cancer. Camels hauling spice are a big help when you’re building impressive things. The Statue of Liberty assures bloodless revolutions. Rioting in one city will make your entire government collapse, but only if you’re a democracy. Pollution from nuclear fallout isn’t any worse than the regular kind. Nothing bad happens when you use nukes over water. If you capture an enemy’s capital, you can destroy their spaceship even if it’s already been launched. Having the Eiffel Tower makes other nations like you. ---
**Author:** ![Melandry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Melandry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melandry)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sid-meier-has-taught-me/167771/51 "2003-04-13T00:38:26Z")
If you leave a group of engineers to their own purposes, they’ll run around in circles all day. ---
**Author:** ![Spit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/76d3ee/32.png) [@Spit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spit)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sid-meier-has-taught-me/167771/52 "2003-04-13T00:47:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Melandry \* > \*\*If you leave a group of engineers to their own purposes, they’ll run around in circles all day. \*\* That’s the most realistic part of the game! ---
**Author:** ![Semp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Semp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Semp)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sid-meier-has-taught-me/167771/53 "2003-04-13T00:49:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dewey Cheatem Undhow \* > \*\*Somewhere in the back of my mind, whenever I see the stories of looting in Baghdad on CNN, I think “of _course_ they’re in civil disorder – they just changed governments and they don’t have the Pyramids.” \*\* Another reason why the Hanging Gardens is a complete waste of time. Didn’t Saddam even bother to look into its life expectancy? See, if he had postponed the effort and diverted it into Leonardo’s Workshop, why the Republican Guard would have had M1-Abrams tanks all over the place! And I bet he tried to put Shakespeare’s Theater in Basra, too. ---
**Author:** ![Semp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Semp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Semp)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sid-meier-has-taught-me/167771/54 "2003-04-13T00:52:06Z")
The above post was referring to the CivIII Leonardo’s Workshop, of course. Had he been relying on the CivII version he’d have been SOL. ---
**Author:** ![HAJI](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e95f7d/32.png) [@HAJI](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HAJI)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sid-meier-has-taught-me/167771/55 "2003-04-13T03:56:26Z")
Civ taught me that even though you are an all powerful and omniscient ruler, if you want a palace it is up to the whim of your people. Over 6000 years. And by then it ain’t even modern anymore. RT taught me that slums suck, the Pacific engine kicks ass, and if you borrow too much money the interest will kill you despite your master plan. Colonization taught me that there is a magic portal to Europe in the eastern Atlantic, and that just because the title of a game starts with “Sid Meier’s” and ends with “\_\_\_\_\_zation” does not by default make it good. Alpha Centauri taught me that its not about graphics, it is about the game itself. SimGolf taught the three required elements when designing any course: celebrity homes, lots of water, and big frickin’ trees. Oh, and holes don’t hurt either. However, the most important thing that Sid Meier taught me was that almost every other game on the market is a waste of money. I can count on one hand the number of other titles I have purchased that were almost as worthy. The rest sucked! ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sid-meier-has-taught-me/167771/56 "2003-04-13T04:44:16Z")
Hey, the Statue of Liberty was the one that eliminated the civil disorder problem! The pyramids would keep the population healthy, though. ---
**Author:** ![Tixenfleaz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9a140/32.png) [@Tixenfleaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tixenfleaz)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sid-meier-has-taught-me/167771/57 "2003-04-13T13:12:06Z")
Sid taught me that if you’re unhappy with your lot in life, you need merely grab a cutlass, butcher a local captain, and then go-a-pirating. My life sucks. All I have is this crowbar, but it sorta _looks_ like a cutlass… ---
**Author:** ![Spit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/76d3ee/32.png) [@Spit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spit)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sid-meier-has-taught-me/167771/58 "2003-04-13T17:05:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tixenfleaz \* > \*\*My life sucks. All I have is this crowbar, but it sorta _looks_ like a cutlass… \*\* I’ve got a replica cutlass…Can I be your first mate? ---
**Author:** ![Tixenfleaz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9a140/32.png) [@Tixenfleaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tixenfleaz)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sid-meier-has-taught-me/167771/59 "2003-04-13T20:08:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Spit \* > \*\*I’ve got a replica cutlass…Can I be your first mate? \*\* Can you Swash and Buckle with it? Cuz I’m pretty sure that’s important. ---
**Author:** ![Spit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/76d3ee/32.png) [@Spit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spit)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sid-meier-has-taught-me/167771/60 "2003-04-13T20:57:06Z")
Hell, I’ll even say things like “Shiver me timbers!” and “AAAAArrr Ye Matey’s”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sid-meier-has-taught-me/167771.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sid-meier-has-taught-me/167771.md?page=4)