# What skills and knowledge would I need to defeat a gorilla in hand to hand combat? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [January 14, 2007, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-skills-and-knowledge-would-i-need-to-defeat-a-gorilla-in-hand-to-hand-combat/387990 "2007-01-14T22:28:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-skills-and-knowledge-would-i-need-to-defeat-a-gorilla-in-hand-to-hand-combat/387990/61 "2007-01-16T13:32:00Z")
[QUOTE=Chronos] Even a nerd like me could easily beat that chimp’s throw [/QUOTE] So, you’re sayin’ my romantic zoo-in-the-rain date would have gone better if I threw it back? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-skills-and-knowledge-would-i-need-to-defeat-a-gorilla-in-hand-to-hand-combat/387990/62 "2007-01-16T13:37:53Z")
[QUOTE=alterego] What skills and knowledge would I need to defeat a gorilla in hand to hand combat? [/QUOTE] Ninja skills, Bow Hunting skills, Computer skills… 😃 I’ll get my coat… ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-skills-and-knowledge-would-i-need-to-defeat-a-gorilla-in-hand-to-hand-combat/387990/63 "2007-01-16T13:48:10Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] Nuts. Gorillas have killed keepers in zoos. [/QUOTE] Were those regarded as unprovoked attacks? ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-skills-and-knowledge-would-i-need-to-defeat-a-gorilla-in-hand-to-hand-combat/387990/64 "2007-01-16T14:02:09Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] As usual, [BATMAN IS PREPARED.](http://www.lethargiclad.com/gorilla/dc339.gif) 😃 [/QUOTE] Well no, actually he had help from [someone](http://www.geocities.com/utherworld/comixpix/zbattarzan.html) more experienced in fighting gorillas. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-skills-and-knowledge-would-i-need-to-defeat-a-gorilla-in-hand-to-hand-combat/387990/65 "2007-01-16T15:39:49Z")
> [@](#): > > What skills and knowledge would I need to defeat a gorilla in hand to hand combat? Any decent martial arts system will teach you what you need, because it will teach you to avoid conflict: RUN! ---
**Author:** ![groman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@groman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/groman)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-skills-and-knowledge-would-i-need-to-defeat-a-gorilla-in-hand-to-hand-combat/387990/66 "2007-01-16T15:46:53Z")
[QUOTE=Clothahump] Any decent martial arts system will teach you what you need, because it will teach you to avoid conflict: RUN! [/QUOTE] [Apparently that is bad advice](http://www.vagabonding.com/travelogue/000099.html) > [@](#): > > “If you run, the gorilla will know that you’re a coward, and he’ll chase you.” > > “What happens if he catches you?” I asked. > > “Just don’t run,” Steven replied. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-skills-and-knowledge-would-i-need-to-defeat-a-gorilla-in-hand-to-hand-combat/387990/67 "2007-01-16T15:48:45Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] Nuts. Gorillas have killed keepers in zoos. [/QUOTE] You sure about that? I’ve read where people have been bitten and/or attacked, but nothing even approaching the chimps’ smackdown of St. James Davis. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-skills-and-knowledge-would-i-need-to-defeat-a-gorilla-in-hand-to-hand-combat/387990/68 "2007-01-16T17:28:33Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] Nuts. Gorillas have killed keepers in zoos. [/QUOTE] Important caveat I left out/forgot: I think he said only one verified unprovoked attack in the wild. A gorrilla got loose in the Dallas zoo in 1998 and again in 2004 and bit and injured a few people each time. So, maybe stay out of tall grass and zoos. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-skills-and-knowledge-would-i-need-to-defeat-a-gorilla-in-hand-to-hand-combat/387990.md?page=3)